I'd felt like a fool once. I didn’t want to feel that again. It took a lot for her to do what she was doing, I knew that. I still didn’t know if I could trust her, if I should trust her. But… her words, “falling for anyone” stuck in my heart like an arrow. She’d fallen for me?
My eyes narrowed, my chin stiffened, and I reached for my beer. “You should’ve told me. I don’t know what to believe now.” I sucked the last of the alcohol from the bottle.
Kane leaned in as she walked away. A part of me wanted to run after her, to tell her it was okay. But it wasn’t okay. This could have been another tactic to get what she wanted. What if it was a sob story to get into my wallet? No, thanks.
“You two an item?” he asked, his lips curving into a crooked smile.
“Nah. Just a hookup,” I said, motioning for the bartender.
As I turned, I noticed Katrina sitting at the table with Blake. He consoled her as she wiped away her tears. Those tears looked real, but then again, so did everything else. I was a poor judge of character, that’s what my sister always told me. I always managed to get the wrong girl, hang out with the wrong friend, and even help the wrong people. Look what helping got me last time. Kicked off the only team I’d ever loved. If I’d kept to myself, picked up my bike and rode on, the media would’ve never been up my ass, and I’d still be with the Mets.
Kane was asking questions, pushy ones. “How long has this been going on?” was the last one I heard before everything turned blurry. I wasn’t sure how many shots I’d drank, or how long I’d been at the bar, but I remember Katrina over me while I was in bed.
“Help me lift him up,” she said softly. Who the fuck was she talking to? Her face was angelic, beautiful, and honest. How could she be such a liar?
Kane was grinning at me. “You had a little too much fun,” he laughed.
Fun? I didn’t remember having any fun.
“Weemon art snathes,” I slurred, and laughed at my own disability.
“You have a good one here,” he said, patting me on the shoulder as he slid me up to my pillow.
My body was limp, useless. Even trying to help raise myself up, I couldn’t do. I’d pay dearly for this in the morning. It didn’t matter. Any pain was better than what I’d felt all night.
The sound of a door pulled me back into reality. I must’ve passed out. Everyone was gone, except Kat. She placed a wet cloth on my head, gently patting it to cool my skin. “Are you okay alone, or do you want me to stay?” she asked.
“Don’t have to sneak around now,” I chuckled.
“No, I guess not.”
Her head fell to my chest. Her warmth was so comfortable, so familiar, that I wanted to snuggle up and fall asleep with her in my arms. I wanted to forget about everything. Why couldn’t I?
“I don’t need you to stay,” I managed to spit out, colder than intended.
She rose up, stared at me with tear filled eyes, and offered a soft smile. “Okay. I’m truly sorry, but I understand.”
She was gone. My bed spun, shadows swayed along my walls, and my stomach felt like I’d swallowed battery acid. I did need her. But she was gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
Katrina
I made up an excuse about work in order to ditch the evening with my dad. I hated missing time with my mother, but Todd was my top priority. It sucked to spill my dirty laundry in front of the players. My professionalism flew out the door when my eyes welled up with tears, I knew that. Kane continued comforting me while I watched Todd slam down shot after shot.
That look in his eye when I told him about my dad, exposed myself, and poured out my soul made me believe there was a chance. But after he sent me from his room, it was obvious it was over. I’d messed up.
The bottle of wine I’d planned on sharing with Todd that night was chilling in the fridge. I grabbed a glass, kicked off my shoes, and fell back onto the couch before pouring it to the rim. The emptiness in the air, in my soul, was almost too much to bear. I had to do something to take my mind from the pain.
My phone went wild with alerts, mostly about Spaceman’s visit to the field. I’d posted quite a few pictures, and comments had been flooding in while I was at the bar watching Todd drink me away.
“Always a pleasure to be part of a winning team,” my dad posted.
It meant a lot to me that he was taking such an interest in my work, but I was still angry as hell. Why couldn’t he just keep his big mouth shut? I knew he meant well, even though it was extremely inappropriate and crass. I clung to my glass of wine, leaned back on the couch, and tried to forget the day.
A knock on the door brought me back to life quickly. I jumped up, rushed to the door, hoping to find Todd on the other side. Janice Delaney, my mother, stood in the hall looking so out of place with her over the top wardrobe.
“I wanted to check on you before we left,” she said.
I moved out of the way, motioned for her to enter, and grabbed the other wine glass from the counter. “Wine?” I asked.
She nodded, looking around the room with judgment in her eyes. “What? It’s probably bigger than your new place,” I snapped, hating myself for being so cold. “I’m sorry.” My eyes filled with tears as I quickly apologized and handed her the wine.
Her nails were still perfectly manicured, her makeup looked professionally applied. I wondered if she was doing it all herself now, but after my last comment was afraid to ask. Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched her expression soften on me. “Honey, I’m so very sorry about what happened,” she said softly.
Tears fell down my cheeks, burning my skin with their heat. “He’s such an asshole,” I scoffed as her arms reached out and pulled me into her full chest. The perfume was unfamiliar, probably a knockoff brand from a designer I’d never heard of. Yes, things were changing. Soon Janice Delaney would be exposed, just as I was. Her expensive makeup would run out, her clothes would become outdated, and someone would catch her walking into Great Clips to get her weekly haircut. The thought of it made my stomach turn.
“He’s not an asshole. He’s a good man, a good father. He’s just looking out for his little girl.”
Her hand brushed my hair, spreading it down my back and straightening it with her fingers. “How can you be so calm about this?” I asked.
“I love your father. It was never about money,” she replied.
“It’s not about Todd’s money, but he’ll never believe that now,” I sobbed into my mother’s arms.
“If it’s meant to be, it will be,” she said so calmly that it felt like it must be true.
She kissed me softly on the cheek, squeezed me tightly, then gave me her favorite motherly look. I hated it at that moment. It was the one that said everything would be okay. I didn’t believe that. No part of me believed that.
This wasn’t even my secret, and yet here I was, the one suffering from the lie I had to keep.