Where the Memories Lie

 

 

‘Has Tom Tate ever made any other confessions to you about crimes in the past?’ DI Spencer asked.

 

‘No, of course not!’ Ethan said.

 

‘Are you sure you don’t want something to drink?’ I asked them.

 

‘No, thanks.’ DI Spencer stood. ‘I think we’ve got enough for now.’

 

DS Khan clicked the top of her pen closed and followed suit.

 

151

 

Sibel Hodge

 

‘The scene of crime team will be here for a while longer, but we really need to go and speak to Mr Tate.’

 

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ Ethan said. ‘He gets agitated and confused easily. I don’t want him getting upset and having another heart attack.’

 

‘Well, I was going to suggest that one of you accompany us to try and keep things as calm and familiar for him as possible,’ DI Spencer said.

 

‘I agree.’ Nadia nodded. ‘I’ll come with you.’

 

‘You’re not questioning him without me.’ Ethan stood, tower-ing over DI Spencer.

 

DI Spencer looked at me, silently asking my opinion.

 

‘I’d like to go, too,’ I said.

 

‘Right. Well, shall we all jump in our car together?’ DS Khan asked.

 

‘I’ll take my car,’ Nadia said. ‘I have to stop at the supermarket on the way home.’

 

I wondered how she could even think about eating at a time like this but stress and anxiety affected people in different ways.

 

Who was I to judge? Nadia’s drug of choice was comfort food. I’d be numbing the anxiety later with wine.

 

‘I’ll drive, too.’ Ethan grabbed his car keys from the island and clenched them in his fist before anyone could challenge him.

 

As we drove in convoy to the nursing home, I had the feeling that my normal life would never be normal again.

 

152

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Seventeen

 

 

Tom’s room was crowded with all of us in there. I stood in front of the window while DI Spencer and DS Khan stood at the end of Tom’s bed. Nadia sat on the edge of the bed next to her father, stroking his hand. Ethan stood protec-tively on the other side, fists clenching and unclenching, looking as if he was about to explode, or hit someone or . . . do something volatile. My heart squeezed in sympathy for him. He still wanted to believe the impossible, to hang onto the insane idea that Tom hadn’t committed this terrible crime. That there was some other explanation. I got it, of course. I understood why no one would want to believe their parent could be capable of something like his.

 

I didn’t want to believe it, either. Not of Tom. His words from a few days ago floated in my head. I was just protecting my family. I was just doing what a parent should. It was exactly what Ethan was doing then, trying to protect his father. I was torn between wanting to protect Tom and wanting him to rot in hell, just like Katie had told Jack to. Even if she’d stolen something or blackmailed Tom, or slept around and lied, or dared to dream of a better, more secure life, or tried to have sex with Ethan, she didn’t deserve to be murdered and buried under a pile of earth and concrete like a piece of rubbish.

 

Sibel Hodge

 

‘I don’t want an enema.’ Tom looked at DI Spencer and DS Khan.

 

Nadia squeezed his hand. ‘They’re not doctors, Dad.’

 

‘Why are they in my room, then?’ Tom turned his head to her for guidance.

 

‘They want to ask you some questions.’ Ethan’s voice was laced with contempt for the officers that he didn’t bother to hide.