Where the Memories Lie

 

sauce was out of a jar, unlike Nadia’s, and the cheese came pre-grated, but, hey, it’s the thought that counts. And the jar stuff tasted much better than I could make on my own. Sometimes I wished I had Nadia’s talent for, well, for everything, really, but that wasn’t going to happen any time soon unless I was body-snatched and replaced by a totally different entity. At any rate, I admit that I wasn’t delivering food on a purely altruistic basis: I had an ulterior motive for wanting to talk to Chris because he was the last person to see Katie after she left home, and I wanted him to jog my memory.

 

‘Olivia?’ Chris came to the door wiping his hands on a towel.

 

‘You OK?’ He gave me a concerned frown.

 

I smiled, holding up the dish. ‘Meals on wheels.’

 

He took a sniff. ‘Mmm, that smells gorgeous. Come in. I wasn’t expecting you.’

 

‘I know, but I was making dinner and made an extra one for you. Then I thought that since both Ethan and Anna weren’t at home we could eat it together, too. It’s not a bad time, is it?’ I suddenly remembered the woman I’d seen him with at the pub. ‘I mean, if you’ve got company, I can just leave it with you.’

 

‘No, course not.’ He stepped back and waved me in. ‘I was just about to stick a jacket potato in the microwave so this is an unex-pected pleasure.’

 

We sat in the kitchen at the sleek black ash table in the white kitchen that Abby had chosen when they’d first moved in together twenty years ago. In fact, the whole house had a black and white theme going on, with just splashes of colour here and there. I wondered how they’d decided who got what in the divorce.

 

How did you divide things up into neat little bundles? You have the microwave and I’ll have the ornamental frog, you bastard! No, I want the frog, you bitch – you never loved it like I did! In that moment, part of me could understand Nadia’s reluctance to confront Lucas about his affair. It would mean the change of everything. Life as 100

 

Where the Memories Lie you knew it would collapse. And, yes, although you would get over it eventually, in the meantime you were looking at a whole heap of pain, heartache and stress. At least Chris and Abby hadn’t had any kids, although ironically that was the main reason for the breakdown in their relationship. Love could be a vicious and destructive thing sometimes. I didn’t realise then just how vicious and destructive.

 

Chris piled a huge serving onto a square white plate and set it down in front of me.

 

‘Whoa, that’s massive!’ I stared at it.

 

He shrugged. ‘Just eat what you can.’

 

I tucked my fork into the corner and broke off a piece.

 

‘That’s apparently what Mum always used to say to us, although I was too young to remember that.’ Chris sat down. ‘She’d give us gigantic portions of food all the time. Thought that we were growing kids so we should eat a lot. That’s probably where my being overweight stemmed from.’ He blushed, embarrassed. ‘I was pretty chubby as a kid.’

 

You’d never know it to look at him now, though. The years of building work and boxing had turned his body into a chiselled physique that any male fitness model would’ve been jealous of.

 

‘I went to see Dad again today.’ Chris took a bite of food and set his fork down, chewing.

 

‘I’m going to go tomorrow. How was he?’

 

‘Better than yesterday. He had more colour in his cheeks and he was sitting in the chair. He said he wanted to go for a walk and the staff were keeping him prisoner.’

 

‘A bit of exercise is good for him, actually.’

 

‘He may not have much time left. He should be able to do whatever he wants.’ Chris leaned his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together. ‘I hope he does have another heart attack.’ He caught my eyes warily, as if expecting me to get angry at that.

 

101

 

Sibel Hodge