Where the Memories Lie
By: Sibel Hodge
She closed her eyes for a brief moment, as if steeling herself for what she was about to say. When she opened them again they were wet.
‘Not here. Let’s talk on the path.’ Nadia walked ahead of me, back along the direction I’d just come from.
My house is the last one at the edge of the village. It’s an old barn that my father-in-law Tom beautifully renovated and converted twenty-five years ago into a family home. Nadia, Ethan and Chris had all lived in it with their Dad until they left home. Then when 3
Sibel Hodge
Tom got Alzheimer’s, Ethan and I bought the house from him. I’d always loved it, you see, so I jumped at the chance. It was rustic and country with exposed brick walls, original quarry-tiled floors, thick wooden beams and trusses, oak-framed windows, earthy tones and bags of cosy charm. Nadia and Lucas prefer new, modern spaces, not something rustic and quirky, so they didn’t want to buy it, and it was far too big for Chris on his own, so that was that. Tom lived with us there for a while before things became . . . well, let’s just say difficult. Unsafe, actually. And upsetting. None of us wanted to see him in a nursing home. It was an awful thought. But I had Anna to consider, and Tom almost blew the house up one day by leaving the gas hob on and lighting his pipe in the kitchen when Anna was upstairs. Nadia did a lot of research to find the nicest nursing home with the best reputation, and that’s how Tom ended up at Mountain View Nursing Home. Not entirely sure why it was called Mountain View ? there are no mountains in Dorset ? but anyway, we couldn’t ask for somewhere nicer, really. The staff were so good with him.
Along the side of Tate Barn is a public footpath that takes you through a canopy of trees onto woods. On the other side of the woods are sprawling hills and fields that eventually lead to the next village of Abbotsbury.
‘So, what’s wrong?’ I asked again as I let Poppy off the lead.
She bounded off, then realised her playmate wasn’t with her and bounded back again, tongue lolling to one side.
Minstrel, named by Charlotte after the chocolates she loved, barked back at her as Nadia stood there, staring off into space.
I put my hand on her shoulder. ‘Nadia?’
She let Minstrel off her lead and the dogs ran away together, ears flapping.
‘It’s Lucas. He’s having an affair.’ Her eyes welled up again. She closed them and pressed her fingertips against the lids.
4
Where the Memories Lie I gasped. ‘No. No way. Why do you think that? Has he told you?’
‘No, but I found some texts. To this woman!’ She spat the word out as her eyes flew open.
‘What woman?’
She started walking along the path. Marching, actually. I marched alongside her.
‘She works with him. She’s an air steward.’
Lucas was a long-haul pilot and was often away for a few days at a time.
‘No! Are you sure? What did the texts say?’
‘That she was missing him. That she couldn’t wait to fuck him.
That she was looking forward to a night together in Jamaica.’
‘Where is he now, then?’
She wiped her eyes. ‘Jamaica.’
‘Oh.’ For once I didn’t know what to say.
‘I thought he’d been acting a bit weird lately. Secretive.
Whenever a text comes through he’s fiddling with his phone for ages so I thought I’d check it, but he’s started deleting his texts as soon as they come in, which he never used to do. Then yesterday, when he was in the shower, I heard a text arrive so I looked at it. Her name’s Patty.’ She snorted. ‘God, Patty sounds like a bloody dog, or a hamster or something.’ She stopped and turned to me, looking like a shell of herself.
I pulled her towards me in a hug. She was taller than me, nearly six foot, and my head rested on her shoulder, her collarbone digging into my cheek.
‘I’m so sorry. What are you going to do?’
She didn’t say anything for a long time. We just stayed like that, holding each other. Then she pulled back.
‘He’s my life. I love him more than anything. So I’m not going to do anything. I can’t. I can’t lose him.’
5