When We Collided

“Hi,” a little voice says. “Hi, hi, hi. Guess what! Waffles!”

I peek one eye open. Leah’s grinning back at me, bouncing at the edge of my bed. I was up till sunrise with Vivi two nights ago, and I’ve had a pounding headache since.

“Jonah, come on,” Leah says. She pushes all her weight onto the bed, jostling me. “You’re the only one who’s not up.”

“Okay, okay.” I sit back against my elbows. “Your hair looks nice.”

“Thanks.” Leah’s hands move to the ends of her braids. They’re the fancy kind. I can’t even fathom how to bend hair like that. “Mom did it.”

I trudge downstairs with Leah traipsing in front of me. Something stops me in the kitchen doorway. And it’s not just the smell of hot waffle batter.

Naomi is manning the waffle iron. Isaac is trying, and failing, to juggle three oranges. Bekah’s tongue is sticking out in concentration as she slices up strawberries. Silas is stuffing his face with the first batch of waffles, piled high with whipped cream and powdered sugar.

My mom is putting water in the coffeemaker. She’s in her pajamas, but then so is everyone but Silas, who’s wearing his work polo.

My family is everywhere, busy with individual tasks and reaching over one another. But, somehow, doing it all together. It’s such a familiar scene that part of me expects to turn the corner and see my dad. I know he won’t be there. But it feels like he’s in the kitchen all the same—in Naomi’s determination and Silas’s easy humor and Bekah’s sensitivity and Isaac’s precociousness and Leah’s everyday excitement. In my . . . well, I don’t know what. But I hope something. Something good.

Silas’s plate clatters in the sink, and he sees me as he turns back. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty.”

I grunt. He swats me with his apron as he passes by.

“Silas,” my mom calls over her shoulder. “Before you go off to work, leave the dorm packing list out, okay? The one from the website? I’ll see where we are with it.”

“Okay,” he calls, hurrying up the stairs.

“Jonah,” Bekah says. “What toppings do you want?”

“Um. Strawberries and chocolate syrup.” I sit down on a stool. Leah grabs the whipped-cream canister and sprays it into her mouth. My dad used to do that with us. We’d all shriek with joy. It was too good to be true, eating straight whipped cream.

“Hey,” my mom says to Leah. “No spoiling your breakfast with pure sugar, missy.”

“Swrry,” Leah says, with her cheeks puffed out. She’s clearly not sorry.

My mom shakes her head but in an oh-you-kids kind of way. “Morning, pal. You want some coffee?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

She pulls another mug from the cabinet. Naomi slides a waffle to Bekah, who tops it with whipped cream and strawberries and passes it to Leah. They’re an efficient assembly line, like the kitchen staff at the restaurant. My dad would be proud.

“Isaac,” my mom says. “Put the fruit down and eat your food.”

One of the midair oranges hits the counter with a thud.

When the coffee is ready, my mom fills up the mugs and hands one to me. She sits down at the kitchen table with a plate of waffles. Bekah and Isaac sit on either side of her. I stay seated at the island between Naomi and Leah.

I have to find a way to tell Leah that Vivi’s leaving today and probably won’t stop in to say good-bye. I wait until she takes a bite, so she’ll have a second to process it. I use a calm, quiet voice.

“I’m going to see Vivi today, before she has to move. Do you want to draw her a picture or something?” I texted Vivi yesterday, to see if she needed help packing. She said no. I was so disappointed that I almost went over anyway. But then she told me to meet her at the park today. Of course—it’d be a dramatic farewell, with a meeting time and anticipation. I’m half dreading it. I’m half desperate for it.

Leah shakes her head. “I already gave her one. She came over yesterday morning, and we played.”

“Vivi came over while I was at the restaurant?”

“Yep! We played ponies and stuff.”

I glance at Naomi for more information. “Were you here when she came over?”

Naomi nods, not looking up from her waffle. “We all were.”

In a quieter voice, I ask her, “Why did she come over? To say good-bye?”

She chews a bite and swallows. “She came to pick up something of Sylvia’s, she said. I think she actually said ‘seeya’ as she was leaving. She was just . . . I don’t know. Being Vivi.”

I turn it over in my mind. I’d understand if she wanted to slip out with the shadows, after all she’s been through. Instead, she came over here, when she specifically knew I wouldn’t be home. To spend one more happy day with my brothers and sisters. My throat aches. I don’t think it’s the too-big bite of waffle I just tried to swallow.

Leah swings her feet below the island ledge. “I wish Vivi didn’t have to leave. It makes me sad when I think about it.”

“Yeah,” I say. “Me too.”

Naomi shakes her head. There’s something ironic in her smile. “You know what? Me too.”

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