I cleared my throat. ‘He had a bad day – a bad meeting with the board, I think he said. He felt he’d embarrassed your father; he hadn’t prepared something they were expecting. Dec rang me on his way home from the meeting. We had a long chat then made plans to go to the cricket the following night. That’s how I know this really was an accident. When he hung up, he sounded fine.’ I cleared my throat again and shifted awkwardly on the bench, then stole a quick glance at Molly. She was staring at her lap now but her eyes were still dry.
‘Why didn’t someone call me? Why didn’t someone tell me?’ she whispered. ‘I wasn’t a kid anymore. I was nineteen, I could have handled it.’
‘He was ashamed of the place he’d ended up. It really mattered to him that you still looked up to him.’
‘Tell me about the night he died,’ she said, her voice barely a whisper now.
I drank the last of my coffee and rested the cup on the ground beside my feet. ‘Dec had a network of dealers around Bondi near his apartment, but Laith had cut off a lot of those pathways – brute financial force, I think you’d call the strategy. So when he decided to use again, Declan went to my aunt’s house, where my cousin was staying.’
‘Your cousin?’
‘Yeah. Dec gave him money to score for both of them.’ I stopped, and exhaled forcefully. ‘My aunt called me. She didn’t know what they were up to or where they’d gone – she just knew Declan was my friend and she was worried that her son was bad news for him. But I knew as soon as she called that there was only one reason Dec would have gone to that neighbourhood.’
‘And your cousin?’
‘He was fine – well, fine in the sense that he didn’t overdose. I did some research later, trying to understand it all… Most likely because Dec had been clean for a few months, he’d lost his tolerance. It took me a while to find them – they’d locked themselves in a storage room in the basement of the building – I had to break down the door to get in.’
I was lost for a moment – remembering my panic when I realised where they were and the splintering sound the door made as I kicked it in – and then the dread, because the minute I saw him, I knew it was just too late.
Molly stood suddenly, startling me. I looked up at her and marvelled at the fact that she was still not crying.
‘That’s enough for today,’ she said flatly. She was furious, and I couldn’t blame her.
‘I’m so sorry, Molly.’ Her expression softened, just a little.
‘You have nothing to be sorry about. Can I call you again?’
‘Of course you can.’
She rested her hand on my good shoulder and squeezed as she offered me a fragile smile. ‘Thank you, Leo.’
I watched Molly as she left. I thought I saw a shudder ripple through her, but almost instantly she corrected herself, walking away from me with a perfectly straight posture and her head held high.
I waited a long time before I left the park that morning. I sat on the bench until my backside was numb and the pain medication had worn off and my shoulder was throbbing. I thought about Declan and the Torrington family and the life lessons I’d learned from his friendship – including the most important one of all. It doesn’t matter where your life’s journey begins; the path it takes is still entirely up to you.
5
Molly – July 2015
I wake just before dawn. I’ve spent so many nights by Leo’s bedside, I don’t even know what day it is. From the moment I force my eyelids open, I’m conscious of an exhaustion that seems to have overtaken every muscle in my body. I can’t remember ever having felt so drained.
I stumble down the hallway for a vending machine coffee and in my sleep-deprived state I don’t even notice that Leo is awake and sitting up in bed again when I return to his room. I’ve made it all the way to my chair and am sipping the coffee before he startles me with a quiet, ‘Good morning, Molly.’
I nearly drop the cup, and then I trip over myself trying to apologise for nothing much at all.
‘Oh, hi – sorry, I didn’t realise you were awake yet – I didn’t get you a coffee, I can go back––’
‘No, no, it’s fine. Thanks.’ He looks around the room and then frowns at me. ‘Where have you been sleeping?’
‘My hotel is just a block away,’ I say. This is actually true, but I hope he doesn’t notice that I didn’t answer the question. Leo keeps staring at me and the pause quickly becomes awkward. ‘I just didn’t want to leave you alone last night – I mean, in case you woke up and didn’t know where you were – but I will go back to the hotel tonight.’
‘Do you at least have a stretcher bed or something to sleep on?’ I take some comfort in this evidence that Leo’s eye for detail is already returning.
‘No, it’s a trip hazard or something. But it’s okay, I haven’t felt much like sleeping anyway.’
This lie is so ridiculous that I’m embarrassed to even have attempted it. I look at Leo then quickly look away, because he’s staring at me and I don’t need to read his mind to see that he isn’t buying it. He is silent for a while before he speaks.
‘Thank you, Molly.’
‘Have you remembered anything?’
‘Not yet. But yesterday it felt like every time I spoke to someone there were more shocks in store and I was so exhausted, I could barely keep up. I feel more alert today, that’s got to help.’