He was like, “No, wigs.”
I was thinking, “Oh, this sucks.” I just kept telling myself, “He’s just a man, he’s just a man. You have so much life in front of you, that’s all that matters. Don’t worry about it.”
So I was like, “Oh, duhh,” and I remember saying, “Oh no, sorry, I don’t know, no, yeah, I’ve worked with wigs in my one-person show, but I don’t do that a lot.”
Then he says, “Well, I think you’d be a great addition to the show, and we’re going to get you an office.”
“So…” I wanted him to say it. “So I’m going to be on Saturday Night Live?”
He was like, “Yeah.”
“That’s so great. I know you’ve seen this happen a million times before where people are like, ‘I can’t believe it,’ but this is my childhood dream and I’m so excited.”
He said, “Okay, but don’t tell anybody because we haven’t announced it yet,” and I asked, “Can I tell my nanas?” He laughed.
I said, “Can I give you a hug?”
“Sure.” And then we hugged and I went outside and Seth Meyers was waiting there. He asked, “What did he say?”
“He said I’m going to be on the show.”
Seth was like, “Whoa, that doesn’t really happen.”
“He said I could have an office and stuff.”
I went outside and I went into the courtyard of Rockefeller Center.…
Whoops, I’m getting emotional.
I called my parents and I said, “I’m going to be on Saturday Night Live,” and it was really exciting.
I never cry, I just.…
You know what? It is a beautiful story and sometimes I forget that.
Because it is cool to achieve something that you’ve always wanted, and to do it kind of on your terms.
To call my parents, they were just so stunned. We were all so stunned. I came from this fucking haunted house with these two artists and just had this one dream, and went to college and didn’t become an asshole. To just call them and make that phone call, honestly I forget about that, and it was really, really meaningful.
LORNE MICHAELS
When you do live television, the one thing you can’t expect is for it to be perfect, but the Fortieth Anniversary show, that night, for me, watching all of the people who created and built the show working together, and also being in the audience for each other was as close to perfect as it was ever going to get. The feeling in the room was so warm and supportive. You realize that it’s, in the cliché sense, it’s a family. You can’t explain that experience of doing it, except to other people who have done it.
MORTALITY
“I Wouldn’t Want It to Go Away”
I don’t want to die. I don’t want to live forever either. That sounds terrible.
I have no idea what happens after we die. I don’t think about it much at all. I’m guessing probably nothing. It’s the transition from life to nothing that terrifies me.
Being terrified of death is part of the human condition. Depending on how you look at it in terms of accepting that it’s the one undeniable truth of life, it can be motivating or completely devastating. It can make you appreciate life and savor it or it can render almost everything pointless. I fluctuate between the two, depending on how much coffee I’ve had and what petty bullshit is consuming me. That death is part of life is annoying and sad. Denial is childish, but I can’t think about it too much because it’s just too fucking depressing. I choose to let myself be consumed with petty bullshit and not get too close to people. I think these will buffer the coming end of others and me.
I’m fortunate that I haven’t had to deal with much death around me, yet. As of this writing, my parents are still alive, which on most days seems like a good thing. I haven’t had to deal with someone too close to me having prolonged illness and dying. I’m old now, so I know it is coming. Just thinking about it right now is horrifying. I can barely handle when my cats are sick. I know they are going to die, but I’ve had them for twelve years, and as of today they are alive.
My best friend, Dave, from high school died suddenly. I went to his funeral. When I looked at him in the casket, it was shocking and awful, but I knew that it was real. He was dead. I appreciate that Jews don’t view the body, but it was actually helpful in believing it was real and getting closure. I mean, I don’t think my grandparents are still alive, but actually seeing them dead would have really driven the reality home. I guess the idea is to remember them alive without that image. Seeing Dave dead didn’t rob me of my memories of him alive; it made them more special.
When I talk to people about death it’s usually about the death of their parents or loved ones. Al Yankovic, Jack Antonoff, and Mike DeStefano shared some particularly heartrending examples. I try to empathize and absorb any sort of wisdom about dealing with that inevitability, but I don’t think there is any real preparing for it. Especially if it happens when they are young, like Molly Shannon, who lost her mom when she was four. I can feel their grief and sense how they’ve had a lifetime to deal with it and how it defined them, changed them for the better or crippled them for life.
It seems that how we deal with the knowledge of death and the death of people we love really dictates how we live our lives on a core level. That, and having children, which I don’t have. So I’m in the dark about a couple of life’s massive emotional upheavals and responsibilities that bring pain and joy. If I really think about it, protecting myself from these things by not engaging has probably crippled my ability to feel the full joy and depth of being alive. I guess there’s always time. Wait, there isn’t. See, I’m sad now.
BOB ODENKIRK—ACTOR, WRITER, DIRECTOR, COMEDIAN
If you’re not lucky enough to die young, and just get to be a flaming asshole, you will be humbled. Everybody gets humbled, everybody.
JANEANE GAROFALO—COMEDIAN, WRITER, ACTOR
Perhaps I should have taken better care of myself as a younger person, but I didn’t, and this is the way it is. Honestly, I do not mind aging. I don’t love some of the stuff that comes with it, but I’ve got no problem with telling people how old I am. I have no problem with birthdays. I don’t have angst over “Oh my God. I’m turning forty-five.” That stuff does not bother me, but I don’t love waking up in the morning with my back cracking and my ankles hurting, and stuff like that. That is less appealing.
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
I used to play basketball more, but these days I’ve gotten to the point where it’s not as much fun because I’m not as good as I used to be and I get frustrated. I was never great, but I was a good player and I could play seriously. Now I’m like one of these old guys who’s running around. The guys I play with, who are all a lot younger, they sort of pity me and sympathize with me. They tolerate me, but they know. We all know that I’m the weak link on the court, and I don’t like being the weak link.