Waiting for the Punch: Words to Live by from the WTF Podcast

CARL REINER—COMEDIAN, WRITER, DIRECTOR, PRODUCER, ACTOR

About three or four hours. Sometimes while we’re watching something he’ll fall asleep and I won’t wake him because he drives home and I’m saying, “Better he sleeps here than falls asleep behind the wheel.”



Marc

What was that thing you told me about movies? You two like watching movies with certain phrases in them.



Carl

Oh yeah, that’s true. The Bourne Series and movies like that. The phrases are, “Secure the perimeter! Lock all doors!” Or a character in the movie says, “Get some rest.” If those words are in the movie, that movie’s a good movie.



Marc

As you get older you don’t see people as much anymore.



ROB REINER—DIRECTOR, PRODUCER, WRITER, ACTOR

That’s true. I think it has to do with—You know that whole thing they say, where you’re born alone, you die alone? That bit?

Well, I think what happens as you get older, you start thinking about that, and also that you don’t want to spend any time with anybody that’s going to annoy you or make it uncomfortable. As you get older, you realize that there are more and more people that annoy you. So your world keeps narrowing, and getting narrower.

I think it’s unconscious. I don’t think you’re consciously saying, “I think I’m going to narrow my world now.” No, you think, “You know, I don’t really like that person that much, so why should I stay?” It’s like when you’re young, you’d never leave a movie theater until the movie’s over. Now you go, “Why do I have to watch the last hour of this piece of crap?” Because I have such a limited time on the planet.



Marc

And now with phones and computers, it’s like all the time is eaten up, unnecessarily eaten up.



Rob

Yes, and you trick yourself into believing that you’re actually communicating with people. You know, I’m texting, I’m e-mailing, I’m doing. You’re not talking to anybody. You’re talking to a computer.

Here’s the thing. You look at this show like Friends, right? You’ve got all these people, they’re in their, I guess their twenties or something. They’re hanging out with each other, and I guess that’s what you do, you go in packs, but when you get into your thirties, your forties, your fifties, you don’t do that anymore. You got kids, you hang out with them, and then when you get older you don’t think, “Hey let’s go and hang out at the coffee shop.” You don’t do it.



Marc

Maybe you get one guy.



Rob

Yeah, one guy.



Marc

I talked to your father. He says he hangs out with Mel almost every night.



Rob

Mel. Mel and my dad, virtually every single night.



Marc

That’s really something.



Rob

Listen, it’s wonderful that they have each other. They met each other when they were in their twenties, and to have that kind of bond, and to have that bond stick. They make each other laugh, they enjoy each other’s company. They both lost their spouses recently, so they have that.

And they watch any movie that has “Secure the perimeter!” in it.



JACK BLACK—COMEDIAN, MUSICIAN, ACTOR, MEMBER OF TENACIOUS D

Kyle Gass is my jelly. Without Kyle I’m just delicious, delicious peanut butter, which is fine on its own. Actually some people prefer it, but when you add it to jelly, it makes something unbelievably delicious.

Now, why would I turn my back on my jelly? Once you find your jelly, there’s just no reason to keep searching.



Marc

Was the jelly bothering you to do another record?



Jack

No, in fact the jelly was talking about breaking up. We always break up, it’s a fiery relationship. Not really. Sometimes. We’re like brothers. We’re highly competitive with each other and there’s a lot of love and there’s also an endless battle for control. In the band and also in life. We’re both on diets right now. Kyle won’t tell you, but he’s secretly hoping to win and be lighter than …



KYLE GASS—COMEDIAN, MUSICIAN, ACTOR, MEMBER OF TENACIOUS D

I’ll tell you. Of course I want to encourage you by winning.



Jack

By winning and holding it over me.



Marc

There’s no denying the fact that at some point, Tenacious D happened and then Jack Black: Movie Star happened. Now, was the jelly upset?



Kyle

The jelly did fall off the bread a little bit. It’s always that. It’s a half-full, half-empty sort of thing. On one hand, this partnership has been the greatest thing ever for me, but then on the other hand it’s like, “Wait a minute, how come I’m not starring in my own movies? How come I can walk through an airport so easily? What’s happening here?” Then you have to reconcile, “Well, I don’t know. That’s just the way it is.”

For a while, I would just really start a lot of side projects.

There is that feeling like, “Wait, let me see how good I can do on my own.” Then failing time after time, I realized that without Jack, I am nothing.



Jack

It’s not true.



Kyle

I’ve accepted it. Really, I’ve become much happier.



CHEECH MARIN—COMEDIAN, WRITER, ACTOR, MEMBER OF THE DUO CHEECH AND CHONG

It was always volatile between us. We were always arguing.

We’re not like best friends. People always say, “Oh, you guys must be best friends, you’ve known each other forever.”

We’re brothers!

So you can fight with your brother. But he’s still your brother. That’s really the kind of the connection we have.

I don’t know, you come to a point where you just don’t want to hear what the other guy has to say, you know? Both of us.



TOMMY CHONG—COMEDIAN, WRITER, ACTOR, MEMBER OF THE DUO CHEECH AND CHONG

I think what happened is that Cheech got divorced and I was part of the divorce settlement.

“Okay, you get Chong and I get the house.”



Cheech

Yeah, yeah, okay. That’s a good deal.





JACK BLACK


Kyle never ever has any interest in coming over to the house.





KYLE GASS


I haven’t been invited once.



Jack

That’s not true, I do invite you over.



Marc

Why don’t you go there? By the way, I’ve received zero invites over to your ranch since you’ve lived there.



Jack

The Jelly Ranch.



Kyle

I think what it is, is that when we work together we see a lot of each other. I think the natural breaks are good, but I do enjoy seeing the kids when they do pop up.



Jack

Sometimes I invite Kyle over and he’s like, “I’ve already seen that movie. I’ve got better things to do.”



Kyle

Oh my God.





CARRIE BROWNSTEIN


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