Just us.
Our skin is hot,
Our mouths are needy.
We are alone.
But for the godforsaken angels.
The angels scare me,” I whisper to Dare, and I clutch him close.
He holds me tight.
“I know,” he says. “Why is that?”
“I don’t know,” I answer, and it’s the truth. “Maybe it’s their eyes. They see me.”
“I see you,” he reminds me, and his eyes are black.
Black, black,
Black as night.
“Will you always?” I murmur, and his neck tastes like salt. My fingers find his LIVE FREE.
“Yes,” he promises.
“Repromissionem,” I tell him. “It’s Latin.”
“I know.”
Chapter 28
The kitchens are surprisingly bright and I pick at my bagel, perched on a stool as Sabine cooks.
“Aren’t there cooks here?” I ask curiously, because I’ve never been in here before.
“Of course, child,” she answers without turning around. “But I brew my own tea.”
The pot she’s stirring is large, and I eye it doubtfully.
“That’s a big pot for tea, Sabine.”
She laughs, then studies me.
“I want to read your cards again,” she announces. When I’m instantly resistant, she adds. “One last time.”
One last time?
Ok.
I follow her to her room, and she spreads my cards in a circle.
“Ah,” she breathes, drawing a card. “The Knight of Pentacles.” She looks up at me. It means something is finally coming to fruition. It’s almost time, child.”
“What’s almost time?”
She draws another card without answering.
She turns it around.
A woman holds scales, her face serene.
“Justice,” Sabine says. “She represents balance. A balanced mind, a logical heart. Things will come together for you soon. You’ll see things as they are.”
God, I hope.
She bends her head and her fingers move, and she comes back up with one last card.
It’s the dark skull.
The death card.
“What does that mean?” my voice is shaky, and I already know, of course.
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t always mean death, child. Sometimes, it just means a shift in the order of things, or a rebirth, even.”
“But sometimes… it just means death, right?”
My voice is small, and Sabine nods.
“And in this case?’
She shrugs. “I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see.”
It’s not the answer I wanted.
I hesitate, but then my words come out before I can stop them.
“Do you know what happened to my uncle?”
Sabine stares at the table, without looking up.
“Do you know?” I ask gently.
“Just because you think you want the answer to something doesn’t mean you actually do,” she replies, her words a bit broken.
I stare her down.
She stares back, not intimidated. “Dare is a good boy,” she insists, although I never said otherwise. “And what he did… well, it had to be done. He was young and he paid the price. He never deserved it.”
But she won’t say more, and I’m not sure I want to know.
I drift out of her room,
Toward the stables.
I can’t be inside,
I can’t be contained.
My thoughts are my enemy because they think about things I don’t want to know.
I ask the groom to saddle Jupiter.
“Are you sure, Miss?” he looks at me, waiting for someone else to appear. “You want to ride alone?”
I nod. Of course I’m sure.
The breeze pushes my hair away from my face as I ride away from the house, As I ride towards the pond.
The place Dare took me swimming.
I loop Jupiter’s reins on a tree branch, and leave him eating clover.
I strip off my shirt and shorts, and wade into the water.
It’s not as cold as it was before, It doesn’t take my breath away.
I slip under,
Allowing the water to cover my face, to cover my head, and my hair billows toward the surface. I stay under as long as I can, until my lungs are hot and heavy, then I kick to the surface. Pushing onto my back, I stare at the sky as I float.
I’m buoyant,
I’m a boat.
But then she’s in front of me again.