“Your ex-wife got you riled up, that’s your fucking problem, but don’t you dare take out that shit out on me,” I ranted, shoving my finger into the hard wall of his chest. “You want more from me? You want my scars? You got to earn them.”
I pulled back my hand, glaring at him as his features softened. He sighed and nodded, impressed with my outburst.
“I’m not a man who makes apologies, but when I’m wrong I say I’m wrong,” he said. “I got some shit going on, gonna be off the grid for a couple of days,” he explained.
I crossed my arms under my breast, giving him the benefit of the doubt and listened.
“I get back, I’m coming for you, Reina and I’m going to earn your scars and make your secrets my own,” he declared, standing tall and closing the space between us.
“Sorry, I’m a dick,” he whispered, trailing the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip, his tired eyes pleading with mine for redemption.
“My boyfriend was murdered,” I blurted, closing my eyes the moment the words fled from my mouth. “I was the one who found him,” I continued, the vision of Danny lying dead with his finger dismembered and his eyes lifeless and wide open, haunted me. His skin had already faded to gray and his body was as cold as ice when I kneeled down and begged for it to be a mistake, for him to wake up. I could still feel his limp body against mine as I lay beside him and wrapped my arms around his dead body. I don’t know how long I lay there hanging onto nothing but death, but it was long enough for a fire to spread throughout the house.
I opened my eyes and stared back at Jack. He had placed his hands on my hips and brought me to stand between his legs. He lifted a hand, gently pushing away the hair that cascaded around my face.
“We weren’t together long, never made it to the one year mark, but what we had was solid, it was strong. We respected one another, we trusted one another, and we loved each other. Or so I thought,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I mean at least those are the lies I tell myself because the truth is too hard to accept,” I whispered.
Jack remained silent, making it my choice whether I continued with my story or ended it there.
“How well could I have known him?” I questioned out loud, the same question I asked myself over and over in my mind. “How much could he have trusted me? People don’t just end up murdered for no reason. Their houses don’t just go up in flames because they cut the wrong guy off on the road,” I continued, voicing all the things I’ve been keeping to myself. “I don’t know the details, probably never will. I’ve struggled with that truth for a long time.”
“I was devastated when I found him, I lay beside him and wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let go. I held on until I felt the heat,” I hoarsely added. “I remember lifting my head and seeing the flames dancing around us. I could hear the sirens from a distance and the firemen calling out for survivors. I hadn’t had a chance to process that Danny was essentially a stranger to me, but he was still the man I loved, and he was gone. I couldn’t leave him,” I said, shaking my head, wondering when the tears would come. They were late, usually arriving the moment I spoke his name. “I stayed with him until they found me. I begged them to take him too but at that point the house was going to collapse and there wasn’t time to pull the both of us out of the fire,” I took a deep breath. “I gave you a piece of me,” I stated. “I gave you one of my scars,” I whispered. I wondered then if I’d ever understand the spell this man had over me, if I’d ever learn why God chose him to be the man to pull me out of the darkness I was succumbing to.
I stared at the rugged man before me, knowing that behind those eyes was a man who lived a shady life. I had no idea what he was capable of, what his life stood for, but he didn’t put a facade on either. He never sheltered me or lied about who he was—he only asked I see both sides of the coin. Danny had me fooled, and thinking of it now I couldn’t be sure I ever really knew the man I fell in love with. How fucked up was that? I vowed from that moment on to have an open mind about Jack, we only had one judge and one jury and that power was not mine to claim. It was probably a very stupid decision on my behalf and I’d get burned, so to speak, but then again I survived one fire, I could survive the one Jack ignited in me.
Jack grabbed my face, startling me and pulling me from my thoughts as his mouth crashed over mine. I forgot we were outside of the diner and that I was putting my business out on display but I realized I also didn’t give a damn. I wrapped my arms around Jack’s neck and parted my lips, inviting him to take another piece of me.