“What were you thinking about just now?”
“All of this. You, me, the big reveal. Me thinking back and trying like hell to find one decent father-son memory.” I leaned forward. “And I can’t. Not one. You weren’t a bad father; you weren’t a father to me at all. You were this random guy who showed up sometimes. Your neglect and shirking your parental duties don’t earn you the right to be proud of my accomplishments. I had no choice but to make it on my own. And it wasn’t the lessons in hardship you ‘taught’ me that got me there.”
“I told you I was a shitty dad.”
“You didn’t try not to be. The casual way you’re admitting lousy parenting is almost a point of pride with you. Maybe that attitude deserves an additional conversation with your counselor. I believe they call that a self-fulfilling prophecy?”
That startled him.
I guzzled my remaining beer. Six beers. In roughly an hour and a half. And that didn’t seem like nearly enough.
“I didn’t want things to end this way. But I guess it’s better than you being disgusted.”
“I am disgusted by what I’ve heard. But I’m not disgusted by you. Jesus. You were a kid and didn’t have any control over the situation.”
“I…didn’t know how you’d react. Because I don’t really know you, do I?”
I shook my head.
“Is there a chance we might change that someday?”
“Someday. But not today.”
Hurt flashed in his eyes.
“That answer is not because of anything you’ve shared with me tonight. If anything, you coming to me with this makes me hopeful that your counselor can help you get a clearer perspective on me.”
“What about you? Does any of the family…cycle concern you?”
“That if I have kids I’ll want to touch them inappropriately? Hell no. I’m one hundred percent sure of that right now. But knowing this about you, will have me looking at the past with a different…lens, maybe.”
The waitress brought another round. I might as well drink the damn thing since I wouldn’t be driving anywhere tonight.
And maybe if I had help easing into slumber I wouldn’t notice that gnawing need in my gut to have Sierra close—because that’s the only time I felt whole.
Ugh. I did not want to watch my mother feed her new husband cake.
I turned away and heard laughter, which probably meant someone had a face full of frosting. I checked my messages and saw one had just come in from Boone.
B-Dub: Hey. Back n room. Too many beers. Going to bed.
I texted back:
Me: Are you okay?
B-Dub: No
My stomach pitched.
Me: Time for a call?
B-Dub: I want to talk in person, k? Tomorrow.
Me: You can wait?
B-Dub: No choice. Drank eight beers or I’d be n my car on my way home to u.
Before I responded, he texted back:
B-Dub: LUV U – nite…
Fuck this texting shit.
If he couldn’t come to me, I’d go to him.
I left the reception—I doubted anyone noticed. I had to wait for the valet to bring my car around. As soon as I cleared the gated area I hit “start route” for the motel in Flagstaff.
Three hours later I stood in front of Boone’s hotel room door. I knocked loudly in case he’d fallen asleep and made sure he could see me through the peephole.
The security lock slid on the inside.
Boone opened the door wearing just his boxer briefs. He crushed me against his chest before I said a word.
My purse fell to the floor when I wrapped myself around him, touching as much of him as possible.
At some point we realized we stood in an open doorway.
Boone shut the door, locked it and sagged against it. “You came. I didn’t ask you to.”
I curled my hands around his face. “You didn’t need to ask me.”
He closed his eyes. “God. Sierra. I’m so fucking glad you’re here.” He hauled me against him, burying his face in my neck. “Can we just stay like this for a while?”
“Let’s try this over here.” I threaded my fingers through his.
Ten steps later we’d reached the king-sized bed. The bedding was a wreck. I kicked off my shoes, yanked the dress over my head and tossed all the pillows back onto the mattress. Then I situated myself in the middle and held my hand out to him.
It took Boone some time to settle in.
I ran my hands through his hair, down his shoulders and arms, trying to soothe those ragged edges because I knew my touch did that for him. It didn’t surprise me that his breathing slowed and he fell asleep. I closed my eyes, relieved that I’d brought him some peace. Even momentarily.
Later, Boone’s soft kisses peppered my jaw as he pulled me from a light sleep. He whispered, “Be right back,” as if he expected me to leave.
Silly man.
The toilet flushed. Water ran. He crawled back in bed, snuggling his body behind mine. He rubbed his cool, damp face across my shoulder and his cold hand skated up the outside of my thigh.
Unbreak My Heart (Rough Riders Legacy #1)
Lorelei James's books
- All Jacked Up (Rough Riders #8)
- Branded as Trouble (Rough Riders #6)
- Chasin' Eight (Rough Riders #11)
- Cowgirls Don't Cry
- Raising Kane (Rough Riders #9)
- Rough, Raw, and Ready (Rough Riders #5)
- Shoulda Been a Cowboy (Rough Riders #7)
- Slow Ride
- Strong, Silent Type (Rough Riders #6.5)
- Cowboy Casanova (Rough Riders #12)
- Cowgirl Up and Ride (Rough Riders #3)
- Kissin' Tell (Rough Riders #13)