Trouble is a Friend of Mine

‘Sloane has a nanny,’ Digby said. ‘How fascinating.’


When the front door opened and Mrs Bloom stepped out, the smile dropped right off Sloane’s face and she stomped toward us. Sloane jumped in the limo, rolled her eyes when she saw us, and slapped the partition. ‘Drive.’

It took Mr Fong a moment to summon up the gumption to say, ‘I can’t help but notice that this limousine’s turned into a public bus.’

‘One more, Mr Fong, and we can go on to dinner,’ Digby said.

‘Are you kids also eating at Red Lobster? Because I only made reservations for three,’ Mr Fong said.

‘Red Lobster? No! I thought we were going to La Terrasse. What happened to La Terrasse, Henry? I’m not dressed for Red Lobster,’ Sloane said.

She wasn’t. The fringes of beads on Sloane’s beautiful silver flapper dress shimmered like water. Her opera gloves had a million silk buttons up the sides that she probably had a maid or a lady-in-waiting to undo. Her yards of pearls clacked in a heavy way that made the plastic-ness of my pearls shamefully obvious. And while I technically had ethical problems with Sloane’s silver fur cape, I had to admit it was gorgeous. Next to her, I was a hot glue gun mess. She wasn’t dressed for Red Lobster. I was, though.

Henry apologized but refused to give in to her whining with any bargaining or explanations. I was just thinking, Good for him, when I realized that because Sloane wasn’t getting anywhere with Henry, she’d have to let off steam elsewhere.

‘So, did Wal-Mart carry the feathers for your dress or did you have to shoot your own turkeys?’ Sloane said.

‘Love is louder, Sloane,’ Digby said.

‘We’re going to look stupid all pouring out of this limo,’ Sloane said.

‘Well, we could let you out and you could walk to school.’ Everyone – myself included – was surprised when that came out of my mouth.

‘Ugh, not in these shoes. These cost a thousand-something dollars,’ Sloane said.

‘A thousand dollars? For shoes?’ Mr Fong said.

‘A thousand something,’ Sloane said. ‘Plus tax.’

‘For shoes you can’t walk in?’ Mr Fong said.

Sloane twiddled her feet to admire her seven-inch heels. The confusion on the guys’ faces was comical. Boys don’t care about shoes. She wore them for the girls at the dance. I mean, the entire front of the shoe was glass.

‘Where are we, anyway? I’ve never even heard of these streets,’ Sloane said.

‘My date lives on McCaul,’ Digby said.

‘Date? Since when?’ I said.

‘Huh? Since you set it up,’ Digby said.

‘I didn’t set you up,’ I said. ‘McCaul? That’s where …’

‘Bill said you did,’ Digby said.

‘She what?’ I said.

Sloane smirked. ‘Oh, wait, maybe this will be interesting.’

Though I was totally shocked, part of me was, like, I knew it! And suddenly, something that happened a few weeks ago made a new kind of sense. I’d been in Bill’s room when my phone went missing. Bill and I spent forever searching and then she came out of her bathroom with it.

‘You must’ve left it when you peed,’ she’d said.

I’d agreed with her even though I knew I hadn’t used the bathroom that visit. Taking it to steal Digby’s number was low, but to then pretend to help me look for it was downright shady.

To her credit, though, Bill wasn’t so shady that she wasn’t embarrassed when she opened the limo door and saw me sitting there.

‘Uh … hi, Zoe. I can explain,’ Bill said.

‘It’s cool.’ Although I made it clear it wasn’t.

‘I mean, I wouldn’t have asked Digby if you’d wanted to go with him,’ Bill said.

Sloane slow-clapped Digby. ‘You actually found two girls who wanted to go to the dance with you.’

Bill’s dress, I was happy to see, was meh. Just a regular black dress she twenties-ed up with a jazzy hat and T-strap shoes. I guess her fake fur stole made it a little more All That Jazz.

Bill squeezed in and with the limo jam-packed with feathers, fur, and beads, we drove to Red Lobster.

‘Look at us. We look so great. It’s almost a waste to just be going to a school dance,’ Felix said.

If I’d known how the night would turn out, I would’ve knocked on wood.





TWENTY-FIVE


Mr Fong had been nervous about the seven of us turning up to a reservation for three, but since it was six in the afternoon and there were only four other tables of early birds, we got seated right away. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to face slightly left and watch Sloane sulk into her Shirley Temple or face slightly right, where Bill was interviewing Digby like the big groupie that she was. I couldn’t really handle looking straight ahead at Felix, my supposed date who was ordering from the children’s menu.

In the end, I chose to face Sloane because at least with her, the evil was all up front.

‘What are you staring at? Freak,’ Sloane said.