Trouble is a Friend of Mine

He disappeared just as Mom came in and flicked on the light. She saw me holding the half-eaten plum.

‘You ate all my plums?’ she said. ‘And what’s that smell? Barbecue?’





FOURTEEN


Even though it was my twentieth-something day in River Heights High and I was getting used to eating solo (heck, doing everything solo), I was glad when Digby came over with his tray the next day.

‘That skateboarding banana haunted my dreams last night,’ Digby said.

‘At least you could dream. I was wide awake after you guys left,’ I said. ‘I was so stressed about getting the fire extinguisher back in the shed before Mom noticed.’

‘You put the fire extinguisher back into the shed?’ Digby said.

‘Yeah.’

‘Um … so when there’s a real fire and your mom goes for the extinguisher, it’s actually totally empty …?’

‘Oh, God …’

‘Yup.’

‘So, I’ve got to sneak it back out …’

‘Yup.’

‘Buy a new one just like it …’

‘Yup.’

‘And then sneak that one back in …’

‘Yup.’

‘Being friends with you’s more stressful and expensive than getting mugged,’ I said. ‘Which happened to me for real, by the way, so I know what I’m talking about.’

‘Gun? Knife?’

‘Screwdriver. Hey, you know what’s funny? I’m getting more screwed hanging out with you than when I was getting mugged by a guy who had an actual screwdriver.’

‘Um-hm, um-hm … I get it. Wordplay.’

Henry came and sat down with a tired sigh. ‘So, this morning, Mom found my jeans … you know, with the ashes and food scraps and fire extinguisher crap all over them. She assumed it was from a kitchen fire at the diner. She called Jorge and, of course, he denied it like I denied it and so she thinks we’re all hiding some fire from her,’ he said. ‘Now Jorge’s in trouble. Jorge doesn’t need the aggravation. So, how do I tell her that I was in a totally different fire somewhere totally else without getting in more trouble?’

‘Henry, man, there’s something about your problems …’ Digby said. ‘Maybe it’s this weird thing you have with Hestia or maybe it’s the way you talk about them … you sound like a middle-aged accountant or something.’

‘Whatever. Digby, you owe me an explanation for a pair of slightly burned pants covered in food and fire extinguisher powder,’ Henry said.

‘Oh, it’s harder than that. You need an explanation for all that, that at the same time completely excuses you for lying to her this morning,’ Digby said. ‘You need the lie to work retroactively too. Challenge accepted.’

‘Wow,’ I said.

‘And I need it before my shift today,’ Henry said.

‘Don’t sweat it. I do my best work after lunch,’ Digby said.

‘Hit me with a text,’ Henry said.

‘“Hit you”? Seriously? You know, it’s that other crowd you’re running around with. Don’t think I haven’t noticed,’ Digby said.

‘Not everyone can do the lone wolf thing like you and Zoe. I’m a team player,’ Henry said.

Great. Now I was officially a lone wolf too?

‘Speaking of teams. The lawyer that Coach hooked me up with wants to talk to your lawyers before our desk appearance for the vandalism.’ Henry held out two copies of his lawyer’s business card.

I was relieved that Digby’s face looked blank too.

‘I have to ask my dad for a lawyer … I’ll do it soon.’ I took the business card. It was on thick ivory paper embossed with DEIRDRE KLEIN-ESSINK, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW.

‘You haven’t told him yet?’ Digby said.

‘Have you told your dad?’ I said.

‘Nah … it’ll probably be legal aid for me,’ Digby said. ‘It’s not even a misdemeanor. I’ll save the legal dream teams for my future felonies.’

‘Ugh … did you say “felony”?’ It was Sloane, wearing her dance leotard and tights under denim short shorts. She was so pretty, it was ridiculous.

‘“EES”. I said “felon-ees”. Plural,’ Digby said.

‘Whatever. Just better not drag Henry into it,’ Sloane said.

‘Worried about your plan to become prom king and queen?’ Digby said. ‘But, Sloane, when you rule the school, isn’t every day prom?’

‘I quote myself: “Whatever,”’ Sloane said. ‘Henry, let’s go.’

Henry pushed spaghetti down his throat really fast.

‘Ew. Stop eating that crap.’ Sloane took the fork from Henry and smacked away his hand when he tried to reach back for it. She returned to her table and immediately started bossing around the girls sitting there.

‘Aw, hell, no. If someone took the food out of my mouth like that …’ Digby said.

‘Yeah, we all know how excited you get about your food, but I’ve got to go. Seriously, she hates your guts,’ Henry said. ‘She doesn’t want me being friends with you anymore.’

‘Speaking of … did I miss something?’ I said. ‘You two don’t talk for years, then suddenly you’re breaking into places together, you’re sleeping at his house … what’s up?’