“She ordered it,” Daveed answered. Blood flowed out the side of his mouth, and he wiped it with the back of one hand. “I didn’t know if I could refuse.”
“I was fifty feet away in the barn!” Kai shouted. “Could you not have come and asked me?” Then he tried to throw Sebastian off. “Let go.”
Sebastian let go, but Kai seemed more in control now.
“Listen to me,” he said to all the guards present. “No one is ever to open the gate for Lady Megan without my permission. Anyone who does will find himself out of work and looking elsewhere to sell his sword. Is that understood?”
“Yes, my lord,” the men said in unison.
“Dismissed.”
As the guards started for the archway, like a coward, I fled a short way down the passage and stepped into an open storage room to hide. I was embarrassed that Daveed had suffered on my account, and I wasn’t ready to see him yet. Earlier today, I’d had no idea what result my actions would bring. I’d only wanted to follow a tradition.
As the footsteps of the men moved past me down the passage though, I began pondering other things. First, I owed a thanks to Daveed if he’d carried me all the way from the village to the keep . . . and he may have lost some teeth for his trouble.
Second, did Kai mean what he’d said? Was I only to ever be allowed out of the courtyard with his permission?
That night at dinner, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would Jarrod and Rolf have heard of the day’s events? Would I need to defend my actions? They’d been out on the land all day, checking fields for the impending harvest.
Nothing was said as we gathered, and I began to think they hadn’t heard.
Kai was quiet and hadn’t said much to me since the afternoon, and I wondered what he was thinking.
Sebastian was the last one to join us, and he poured himself a large goblet of wine upon sitting down.
“Pleasant day?” he asked Rolf sarcastically.
Those two didn’t care for each other, but I had no idea why. I think perhaps they were simply very different people.
Rolf didn’t bother to answer.
Only when Betty and Matilda came in carrying trays of food for our dinner did Jarrod frown. The women were serving ham and cheese pie.
“Where’s the beef from last night?” he asked Betty. “Have some of that brought in.”
I braced myself. “She can’t. I took it down to the village this morning.”
“You what?”
“And the chicken and the tarts,” I added. “It is tradition. Among the noble families, after a feast or a banquet, the lady of the house is to take all leftovers to the nearest village and share them with the poor. I didn’t realize your family didn’t observe this custom.”
“You gave it all the villagers?” he asked, incredulous.
“I only thought to follow noble customs. I should have asked you first.”
He shook his head and turned to Kai. “And what did you do when learned of this?”
Kai’s body was tense, and I knew he wanted this conversation to end. To my relief, Sebastian answered. “He punched one of the guards and threatened to dismiss any man who ever let her out the gate again.”
At that, Jarrod laughed. “Good boy,” he said to Kai.
Did he know how condescending he sounded?
Then he looked down at his dinner. Thankfully, he was fond of ham and cheese pie, and nothing more was said of my adventure.
Later that night, right after Miriam finished dressing me for bed, Kai walked into the room, and I couldn’t read his face.
I sent Miriam out.
It was too soon for me to question my husband about the order he’d given the guards. Picking that battle now would most likely only make things worse.
“I’m sorry for any trouble I caused today,” I said instantly. “I only meant to follow a tradition my mother taught me.”
“What made you faint?” he asked. “The condition of the villagers? Did the sight of them unsettle you so much?”
I couldn’t tell him the truth. A part of me wanted to, but I feared where that might lead, and I was determined to keep some secrets to myself.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “But something must be done to help them.”
He held up one hand. “That is my father and Rolf’s domain. We can’t interfere.”
“But surely—”
“Megan!” he cut me off and sank down onto the bed. “Not now.”
He looked weary, and I remembered how he’d tended to me earlier, bringing me back to myself and then holding me. I had no wish to trouble him further tonight.
Walking over, I stood in front of him. When he was sitting, I could look him in the eyes. I placed both my hands on the sides of his face, and he breathed in softly.
“Do you want me?” he whispered.
It struck me then that Kai only felt desire for women who equally wanted him. I wondered if all men were like that, but I doubted so.
Leaning in, I touched my mouth to his by way of answer.
Instantly, he took hold of my arms and pulled me down onto the bed beneath him. His mouth pressed down on my mine as it had last night, and his tongue entered my mouth with the same urgency. I could feel his strength and his weight.
I forgot everything else.
I wanted his hands on me. I wanted his mouth on me. Right now nothing else mattered.
Chapter 17
The following morning, Jarrod and Rolf prepared to ride out. Apparently, the night before last, at the dinner, they’d settled on a plan to meet Lord Allemond to inspect some trees in regards to the upcoming land deal. I remembered hearing them speak of something in this regard.
Kai, Sebastian, and I walked out to the courtyard with them. Ten of our guards were already mounted and waiting. Daveed was among them, sporting a bruise on his jaw.
Wearing their chain armor and swords, Jarrod and Rolf looked every inch the hardened men I thought them to be.
Jarrod swung up onto his horse, and I stood below him.
“Should we wait dinner for you or should I just have Ester keep something warm?” I asked.
“We’re meeting in the north sector of his lands,” he answered. “If we’re not home by dinner, go ahead and eat.”
I nodded and stepped back, but as I turned, I saw Sebastian standing beside Daveed’s horse. He had one hand on the horse’s shoulder, and Daveed was leaning down so they could speak without being overheard.
There was nothing unusual about this. I’d often seen Sebastian and Daveed in close conversation. I knew they were good friends. Yet now, something about the position of his hand caught my attention. It was so close to Daveed’s leg, and I was struck by the feeling that Sebastian wanted to touch him.
I’d never noticed such things before, but Kai had awakened something in me. I knew how it felt to stand beside him and long to touch him. Every time I thought of what he and I had done with each other in the night, I longed to vanish with him into some private corner where no one could see us.
I recognized this same emotion on Sebastian’s face. Then I shook the impression off. Young lords didn’t feel such things for their house guards. I was becoming fanciful.
Finally, Sebastian stepped away. “I’ll see you tonight,” he said.
Rolf was watching them too.