Kai walked in and looked around. “Can I do anything?”
“I think we ought to take the dogs out. I saw a man feeding Lacey ale last night. Could you take them to the barracks and ask a few of the guards to look after them?”
“Yes.”
I had no idea when Sebastian might want breakfast to be served. I didn’t know where he was but assumed he’d slept in his own room.
He didn’t appear until after midday, looking less worse for wear than I’d expected. The hall was nearly cleaned up by then, and he kissed my face.
None of the guests had arisen yet.
“I had a wonderful night,” he said. “Are you enjoying yourself?”
I was not. “Yes.”
Nearly everyone else slept until the late afternoon, and then when they came in, Sebastian ordered food to be piled on the table, and to my astonishment, a repeat performance of the previous night began.
This went on for four more days.
When the guests finally left, I exhaled in relief, hoping fervently that Sebastian had needed to purge himself of the shadow of his father and brother, and that he’d been able to get something out of his system, and that Volodane Hall would never see such a display again.
Once everyone had gone, Kai, Sebastian, and I had a quiet dinner, and then Sebastian closeted himself away with Ethan Porter to discuss the harvest. I thought Kai should be involved in these meetings, but he wasn’t.
That night, I expected Sebastian to come to me as he’d done before the house party, carrying mugs of tea or an apple to slice in bed.
He didn’t.
Something had altered in our world, and I had no idea why.
He was soon busy with details of the harvest as it was time to bring in the wheat. Kai continued with his sparring sessions in the morning, but he seemed rather at a loss in the afternoons. I could see him growing more restless and unhappy.
A month later, right after the harvest, Sebastian announced another house party.
When the kitchen women heard the news, I feared Cora might give her notice. I think she would have if she’d had anywhere else to go.
A pattern in our lives took shape.
Sebastian was never lazy or negligent in the any matter involving the estate. He was meticulous with house accounts, and he worked closely with Ethan, but every other month, he’d fill the keep with pleasure-seeking people, and the length of the house parties began to extend.
He never slept in my bed.
I longed for his company in the night.
Although I’d come to accept that there was something missing in our marriage, that we were not like other married couples, I’d never felt as close to anyone as I had to Sebastian in those early nights together.
Now I didn’t even have him sleeping beside me.
I dreaded the house parties.
Three nights into the fourth gathering, I looked about the hall and didn’t see Kai. Without telling Sebastian, I left the hall and went up to the third floor of the tower and knocked on the door to Kai’s room. I’d never done that before.
Almost instantly, he opened it and looked out. He was still fully dressed.
“Are you all right?” I asked.
He didn’t answer. It was a foolish question.
Inside, there was a table near the bed with a chessboard. “You play?” I asked.
“Yes, Rolf and I used to play all the time. He was good.”
Poor Kai. He loved Sebastian, but he’d looked up to Rolf.
“If we leave the door open,” I suggested, “you and I could have a few games. My father taught me.”
He brightened and stepped back. I knew it was inappropriate for me to be inside his bedroom, but none of the old rules seemed to apply here anymore. We sat and began to play, and I felt myself relaxing.
He won the first game.
Not long into the second, I began to understand his strategy a little better and took his queen. He blinked. “Wait, where did that rook come from?”
I laughed and showed him. He laughed too. Kai was a gracious winner and loser.
A shadow passed over the board, and I turned my head.
Sebastian hung in the doorway. “I noticed you both gone and came to check. Are you hiding away up here?” He’d been drinking but wasn’t drunk. I knew he wouldn’t think twice about me being Kai’s room. Sebastian wasn’t that type of husband.
“Do you mind?” I asked. “It’s so loud down there.”
A flash of sadness passed through his eyes. “You both hate these gatherings, don’t you?”
“Of course not,” I lied. “We just wanted some quiet.”
He nodded. “All right. I’ll go back down.”
After he left, Kai’s enjoyment of the game was gone.
Things came to a crisis the following night.
For Sebastian’s benefit, I made an attempt to pretend I was enjoying myself. I stayed in the hall much later than usual. Kai remained as well.
I sipped at wine and tried to make conversation with Sebastian’s friends.
By midnight, few of them were capable of making conversation, and I decided to make my escape. Walking past the dance floor, I started for the arch when someone stepped in front of me.
I tried to remember his name. I think it was Renaldo, the son of a prosperous wool merchant.
“Come and dance with me, beautiful lady,” he slurred.
“Not now, sir,” I said, trying to smile. “I was just on my way out.”
As I moved to walk around him, he grasped my arm. “I insist. You must have at least once dance.”
When I tried to pull my arm back, he kept ahold of me. I don’t think he meant me any harm. He’d had too much to drink. But before I could say another word, a loud crack sounded and Renaldo went flying backward. He hit the floor.
Kai was beside me in a rage. “Keep away from her!”
I then realized he’d stuck Renaldo.
Sebastian came hurrying over. “Kai, what did you do?”
Renaldo wasn’t moving, and his eyes were closed.
“He had his hands on Megan!” Kai shouted. “If you won’t do anything, I will.”
The music stopped and the hall grew quieter. Several people knelt to revive Renaldo, but Kai was now facing off with Sebastian.
“I hated the way Father treated you,” Kai said. “But if he were here now, he’d be ashamed, and for once, you’d deserve it.”
Whirling, he strode from the hall. Sebastian stared after him.
The next day, the house party broke up.
By now, I’d realized that Sebastian wasn’t simply sowing wild oats after being repressed by his father and older brother for so long. He believed in responsibility—and he took responsibility for the estate—but he needed other people around him who enjoyed pleasure in the same way that he did.
His alternation between work and these house parties wouldn’t stop, neither would he ever give Kai any kind of authority. After a lifetime of feeling powerless, Sebastian needed to be in charge.
Kai would only grow bitter and miserable in this environment. He needed an occupation. He needed a purpose.
And I had to help him.
Going upstairs to my room, I sat down at the vanity and wrote a letter to Chaumont.
Dear Father,