We remain bunched up on the floor for a while, quiet, both of us calming, our bodies recovering from our shakes. Then Ava breaks out of my hold, placing her lips on my cheek and inhaling. ‘Come to bed?’
I swallow, hating that it sounds like an unsure question. ‘I’d love to.’ I’ll cuddle her all night. Keep her close. No sex, no anything, just contact. I need contact.
‘Thank you.’
‘Don’t thank me,’ I scold her gently. ‘Never thank me for loving you.’
‘Because it was what you were put on this earth to do.’ Her bottom lip quivers over every word, and I gulp down the melon-sized lump in my throat and yank her back into me.
‘That’s right.’ Suffocating her with my hold, I sink my face into her hair and fight to keep more emotion at bay. ‘This dress is still ridiculous,’ I croak.
‘I forget I’m thirty-eight now.’
‘So you were just being stubborn, yes?’ I don’t need confirmation. I know my wife better than she knows herself.
She nods into my chest. ‘I don’t have the figure I did when I was in my early twenties.’
I scoff at that, getting us up from the floor and lifting her into my arms. ‘You’re more beautiful every day. End of.’ We’ll be having none of that nonsense.
‘You’re obliged to say that.’
‘I’m obliged to say nothing, lady.’ I take the stairs and enter our bedroom. ‘But, as you know, you are obliged to do as I say.’ I place her on her feet and automatically turn her around, taking the zip of her dress. ‘Understand?’
She nods and remains still as I unfasten her, my eyes falling down her back with the zip. As I push the material aside, I hold my breath, bracing myself for the vision of her exposed back.
‘Perfect,’ I sigh, letting the red material drop to the floor. The black lace underwear underneath fits her perfectly. Fuck. I don’t think that cuddle I was hoping for will be enough. Will she let me?
My hands reach for the clasp of her bra. One flick releases the catch, and I notice her shoulders lift an inch. I move in close and slide my forearm around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder. ‘I want to make love to you,’ I whisper, and she tenses, but not from fear. It’s from anticipation. ‘I want to peel this lace off your body and take my time exploring every inch of you.’ I drag the straps of her bra down her arms until it tumbles to the floor. ‘I need you, Ava. More than I’ve ever needed you.’ Kissing her cheek lightly, I relish the feel of her pushing closer into me. ‘Let me show you how much I love you.’
She turns slowly and lifts her chin to see me, and without a word she starts to unbutton my shirt, one by one, slowly and purposefully, a million emotions dancing in her dreamy eyes. Fear. Hope. But most of all, need. For me.
I realise I need to be gentle. Slow and patient, thoughtful and caring. More so than ever before. So I let her undress me at her own speed, resisting the urge to rip my clothes from my body and toss her on the bed. ‘Want some help?’ I ask, just so she knows I’m open to all options.
She glances up at me, and I see apprehension in her gaze. And I realise that even though she’s desperate for me, she doesn’t know what this will be like. She doesn’t know how explosive we are together, whether hard and raw or slow and loving.
‘Don’t be nervous.’ I take her wrists, instantly feeling her tremble. ‘We don’t have to do this.’ Never has it taken so much energy to say just a few words.
‘But I want to.’ Her gaze drops from mine, down my torso, her teeth sinking into her lip. ‘I really want to.’
Forcing her way out of my hold, she pushes my shirt from my shoulders and places her hands on my pecs. My body feels like it’s just gone up in flames, and my hands twitch, desperate to grab her. Ravage her. Kiss her. Make love to her. The look in her eyes tells me she’s aware of all this. She knows.
‘I really want to.’ She reinforces her claim with a hard kiss on the lips, and I’m instantly overwhelmed by it, my palm going to the back of her head, gently pushing her closer, my mouth opening, inviting her in.
Her hands are everywhere. Our kiss is bordering clumsy. I can feel my control slipping. This is what desperation does to me. It makes me urgent, makes me want to take her hard and fast, to stake my claim, mark my territory, show her how good we are. But now isn’t the time for me to get carried away.
I slow the tempo of our kiss. I don’t need to give her instruction. Her hands find the fly of my trousers, and I kick off my shoes. I help her slide my trousers off, keeping up our kiss, and then walk her back to the bed. I take her down to the mattress and gently tug her up to the top. Our lips are still sealed, our tongues dancing slowly, breathing each other’s breath.
I don’t think she’s ever tasted so good, even with the hints of alcohol mixed between us. I come down to rest over her, taking my arms up over her head, leaving her hands free to roam my back, my arse, and eventually my face. She is lost. Consumed. I force myself to break our kiss, just to prove to myself that she’ll hate the loss.
‘Jesse,’ she pants, her hands grabbing at my hair, trying to get me back on her mouth. Then her legs lock around my waist, a demonstration that she’s not letting me go anywhere. ‘Why are you stopping?’ She blinks repeatedly, and the egomaniac inside me likes to think that it’s because she’s struggling with my magnificence so close up.
‘I just want to look at you for a moment knowing that I’ll be inside you again very soon.’
Her lips purse, her hands going to the waistband of my boxers. She pushes them over the rise of my arse. ‘How does a man of your age stay in such good shape?’ She cheekily pinches my bum, and I flinch on an epic grin.
‘Lot and lots of sex.’
A small giggle escapes her, and her short nails sink into the flesh of my arse. I grit my teeth, enduring the sharp pain. ‘I’ll have to take your word for it.’
‘You’d better take my word for it.’ I raise my eyebrows in warning as her hand glides softly through my hair, her eyes following.
‘Because it’s so good?’
‘The sex? Yes.’
‘I’m afraid I need proof, Mr Ward.’ Her browns land on mine with a bang, and the blood that’s been steadily filling my cock gushes in. Her lips press together, her hips flexing up, pushing into my colossal erection. ‘Oh my,’ she breathes.
‘You’ve felt nothing yet, lady.’ Down I go, lips crashing to hers, slow and steady suddenly forgotten. Wild hands feel down my thighs and start pulling impatiently at my boxers. I can fully appreciate her eagerness, taking my own hands to her knickers, but rather than trying to shove them down her legs, I rip them right off.
She inhales sharply but quickly adopts my method, tugging at my boxers. I hear a rip, but they’re still a barrier between my flesh and hers. ‘Fuck,’ I mutter, taking over, giving them a few brutal yanks.
And then there is nothing but skin. Nothing but the friction of my flesh rubbing all over hers as we writhe together, our lips and tongues clashing, our moans and hungry gasps blending, drenching the room.
‘I need to be inside you now,’ I tell her, shifting my hips to get the angle right.
It doesn’t take much guidance from Ava to get my cock resting at her throbbing entrance. She sucks in air and holds it, and I pull back to get her in my sights. Eyes on hers, I nudge forward a fraction, resisting the urge to pound straight in. ‘You ready, baby?’
‘God, yeah.’ She can hardly talk through her want, but she can move, rolling her hips up and taking a bit more of me.
‘Oh Jesus.’ My head drops limply, the feel of only a little bit of her stripping me of control. I thrust forward on a yell and hold still.
‘You fit me just right.’ She threads her hands through the hair at my nape and tugs me back onto her lips. ‘So fucking right.’
‘Watch your mouth, Ava.’
‘No.’
‘Okay.’ She could swear until she’s blue in the face and I’m red, and I wouldn’t give a shit. Because now. Now is everything.