‘Oh, but I’ve had a lovely evening,’ she whines, letting me guide her to the sink. ‘Listening to all the stories.’
Yes, it’s been lovely, but not once has she shown even a hint of retrieving her memory, and I’ve been looking very closely for something. Anything. Just another glimmer. ‘It’s late.’ I flip the tap on and put her hands under. ‘And you’ve had more than enough to drink.’
‘Bossy boots.’ She giggles as I roll my eyes and take her hands to the towel. ‘Can I have one more glass before we go?’
‘No.’ I hold her waist and guide her out of the toilets, back to the table. ‘We’re going now.’ I hold Ava with one arm while retrieving my wallet with the other and grabbing some notes with my teeth.
Ava takes them from my mouth before I have a chance to spit them out. ‘He won’t let me have another drink,’ she grumbles, tossing the money on the table. ‘What a bore.’
‘One more for the road, Jesse,’ Kate pleads, batting her lashes. ‘She’s just a little tipsy.’
‘A little tipsy is too tipsy.’
‘I’m having fun,’ Ava retorts indignantly. ‘It’s not like there’s much else to be happy about right now. I’m married to man who I don’t know, I don’t recognise my children, and I’m missing sixteen years of my life.’
Everyone shrinks at the table. I ignore them, and I also ignore my wife, taking her shoulders while biting my tongue. ‘Say goodbye,’ I grate.
‘Bye!’
Turning her steadily, I proceed to guide her drunken bones out of the restaurant. I need to turn this around before I lose my rag. I’m so close. ‘You’re heading for a Retribution Fuck, lady.’ I open the door and give her a deadly serious face when she looks up at me through lowered lashes. She’s imagining it. Me fucking her stupid while she’s handcuffed to our bed. ‘What else are you imagining?’ I ask her cockily, wanting her to know that I’m fully aware of where her inebriated mind is at.
‘Nothing,’ she squeaks, moving past me through the door, her hips not swaying in their usual fashion, more jolting. That limp is getting worse. I’m hiding all of her heels when we get home. And I should mention it to her doctor.
I’m about to swoop in and remove her from her feet, when she stops abruptly, causing my front to collide with her back, knocking her forward a few steps. I catch her elbow and curse her. ‘For fuck’s sake, Ava.’
She pays no attention to my irritation, her focus remaining forward. ‘Matt?’ she says.
My neck cracks with the speed I lift my head, and my hand automatically moves from Ava’s elbow to her waist. I also step forward and close the mere inch of space between her back and my front. Anger races to the surface. It’s made worse by the fact that she recognises the wanker she was with before she met me. It’s a fucking kick in the teeth. A baseball bat to my gut. And it only fans the flames of my anger.
Time hasn’t been kind to Ava’s ex-boyfriend. Not kind at all, though I can tell by the way he’s drinking in my wife that he thinks otherwise where she’s concerned. Fucking hell, hold me back.
‘Ava?’ He moves forward, oblivious to me looming beyond. I’m head and shoulders above Ava; you can’t fucking miss me unless something more pleasurable is stealing all of your attention, and my wife, especially in that ridiculously short red thing, is definitely a more pleasurable sight than me. My face is twitching, caught between snarling, growling and glaring. ‘Wow, you look amazing.’
She shifts before me. Is she trying to break away from me? Or is she nervous? I don’t know, and I like the thought of neither, so I lock my hand tighter on her waist. She’s going nowhere. But Matt is if he doesn’t fuck off. Like into space when I launch him there with my fist.
‘Thanks, Matt.’ Ava looks back at me, though I can’t tell if her look is wary or warning. My eyes are preoccupied burning holes through her arse-wipe ex. Just hearing her say his name causes all kinds of fury within me.
‘I read in the paper that you were involved in an accident. Sounded pretty bad.’ Matt keeps his focus on Ava. ‘Though I have to say, you’re looking very well.’
‘I’m getting there. You’re looking good yourself. How have you been?’
Seriously? I’m expected to stand here like a spare part while my wife and her ex-boyfriend have a fond reunion? Not happening. Over my dead fucking body. Or maybe it’ll be over Matt’s because, I swear, I will fucking kill him.
‘We’re leaving.’ I tug Ava on, keeping my deadly stare trained on Matt as I escort her away. He finally looks at me, and I will him to have a little think about what happened the last time he came sniffing around my wife.
‘That was rude, Jesse,’ Ava argues pointlessly as I walk us to the car.
I stop her and bend, bringing myself to her eye level. ‘You don’t remember what he did to you, but I do.’
Instant bitterness travels in waves across her face, and I fear it’s not bitterness towards her ex, but towards me. ‘What did he do?’ she asks, all cocky.
‘He cheated on you. You lived with him, Ava, and you moved out when you found out he’d cheated on you. He’s an arsehole.’ I see surprise on her face, and definitely hurt. Over him?
‘So he cheated on me, you cheated on me.’ She laughs wickedly. ‘What the fucking hell is wrong with me? And since I’m supposed to love you madly, your transgressions hurt more! So the only arsehole I see right now is you, Jesse. Just you! And I fucking hate you!’ I can tell she regrets the words almost immediately by the quick press of her lips together, plus her small step back away from me.
But I don’t think she will ever appreciate how much it really does hurt. I think I’d rather take another knife to my stomach. She hates me?
‘I’m putting your cruelty down to too much alcohol. Get in the car. Now.’ I sound possessed, and I don’t give a fucking shit.
Without another word, she slides into the passenger seat and buckles up, not taking her wary eyes from me as I slam her door and stalk around the front of the car. Throwing myself in with force, I start the engine and screech off recklessly, fighting to cool my burning rage. It’s bad enough she recognised him – bad enough that the last man she remembers in her life was that scumbag. But her words?
I look down at my white knuckles gripping the steering wheel, the strength of my hold doing nothing to stop my shakes. I’m fucking livid. Her hateful claim has put me in psycho territory. It’s been years since my temper has reached these heights. Years since I flew off the handle and went on a rampage of destruction. I feel like every shitty thing is coming to a head. I’m at boiling point.
And she knows it.
Chapter 28
The entire drive home, Ava’s fingers remained clawed into the leather of her seat. It didn’t make me take my foot off the pedal. Either the car took the heat of my anger, or Ava did, and shouting and screaming at her wouldn’t have helped either of us.
I’m surprised my Aston’s door doesn’t drop to the gravel driveway on a scream of pain after I’ve viciously slammed it shut. Ava’s out of the car far quicker than I expected she could manage, hobbling to the door.
I hurry to catch up, my instinct to help her taking over and taming my anger. ‘I can walk.’ She bats my hands away as I try to pick her up. ‘Leave me alone.’
I will never leave her alone. Leaving her alone would be as good as giving up, and where my wife is concerned, I never give up. As gently as I can, I lunge in and swipe her from her feet, lifting her over my shoulder. ‘Forget it, lady.’ The smashing of her fists into my back are a sign of her trying to make a stand more than a means of escape. We both know she’s going nowhere until I release her.
‘I said leave me alone!’ she screams, half-vexed, half-hysterical. It’s exactly how I feel inside. I absorb each blow, pacing towards the door. ‘Jesse!’
‘Shut the fuck up, Ava,’ I warn, kicking the door open once I’ve unlocked it.