To my surprise, her big eyes filled with tears. I stepped closer and touched her arm.
“It’s okay, Aubrey, really. I’ll be fine. I won’t even be a cop for another four or five years, at least. And my mom thinks I’ll probably change my mind a hundred times before I graduate, so—”
She shook her head quickly. “It’s not that. I’m just not having a very good day today.”
“Fight with Justin?” I guessed. Nothing else, aside from maybe a B on her report card, had the power to get her down like this. She and Justin had been dating for a full six weeks now, and lately, tiny dents had begun forming in their “newly dating” armor. Justin took issue with Aubrey’s insanely busy schedule and how little time was left over for him, and she took issue with his lack of understanding about her goals and priorities.
I actually appreciated where Justin was coming from, because I often complained about the same thing myself, but Aubrey was my best friend. If I had to choose sides, I would always choose hers.
“He’s annoyed that I still haven’t told my parents about him.” She wiped her eyes with the edge of her sleeve. Aubrey was a quiet, discreet kind of crier, so no one in the crowd milling around us even noticed.
“Are you ever going to?” I asked, though I already knew the answer. Last year, when Sean Ryland—a guy she liked from orchestra—asked her to the Valentine’s Day dance, her parents refused to let her go, claiming she was too young to date. I doubted that was the only reason. To Aubrey’s parents, boys equaled distraction. Boys meant threats to her focus and potential.
Aubrey shut her locker with more force than usual. “I can’t. They’d make me stop seeing him. You know that. They already took away my phone because they thought I was on it too much. Justin’s pissed about that too, by the way. He thinks I should stand up to them.”
Maybe you should, I felt like saying, but I didn’t. I knew how she’d respond to that one too. Standing up to them would be pointless, and it was easier to surrender, toe the line, and keep them happy. She’d been living that way for years and I couldn’t see it ever changing. Her parents weren’t like mine. They didn’t hear her out and provide feedback and tell her they’d support her in whatever she decided to do. They had plans for their children and fully expected them to follow through.
“He only says that because he’s never met them,” Aubrey continued as we made our way to the cafeteria. “Whenever I try to explain to him how strict they are, he thinks I’m either exaggerating or making it up. If he could just see for himself—” She slowed her pace and clutched my forearm with both hands. “You could tell him.”
“What?”
“Would you talk to Justin for me, tell him how unreasonable they are and what would happen if they found out I’m dating him? Maybe he’d believe it coming from someone else. Plus, you know my mom and dad. You’ve seen what they’re like.”
“I don’t really—”
“Please, Dara. He needs to understand why. I don’t want to drag you into this, but I just . . . he won’t listen to me. Please,” she repeated, dropping her hands from my arm and looking up at me with wretched, bloodshot eyes.
I sighed. Aubrey didn’t ask me for much. And she’d been so supportive about my career aspirations, I felt like I owed her one. “Okay. I’ll talk to him.”
She closed her eyes and let out a breath. “Thanks.”
We shuffled into the cafeteria and got in line for today’s special: grilled cheese. The smell of slightly burned bread filled the air. My gaze immediately went to the junior jerks table, but Justin wasn’t there. I turned back to Aubrey and caught her looking over there too, a slight wrinkle between her eyebrows.
After buying our sandwiches, Aubrey and I headed for a table by the window.
“Can you text Justin?” she begged once we’d sat down. “He’s obviously not going to show up here. He’s avoiding me.”
I bit into my sandwich, which was cold and gummy. How was it even possible to screw up a grilled cheese? “You want me to text him?”
“Yeah. Ask him to meet you somewhere after school so you can talk. No, ask him to meet you somewhere after school so you can talk about me. That’ll get his attention.”
I watched her as I sipped my juice. Desperation looked really bizarre on Aubrey. “And where will you be? Hiding behind a plant and eavesdropping?”
She threw a piece of bread crust at me. “I have a lesson. So you’ll do it, then? Get him to meet up with you after school?”
I popped the last of my sandwich in my mouth and took my time chewing so I didn’t have to answer right away. Meet with Justin? Alone? It was exhausting enough trying to hide my attraction when we were around other people. Having his undivided attention would make it that much harder.
I could walk across monkey bars and climb to the highest branch in a tree and aspire to a career involving walking into hostile crime scenes with barely a twinge of hesitation, but the mere thought of talking to Justin one-on-one had me sweating through my bra.
“Of course I will,” I told her once the slimy glob of cheese finally made it past my throat.
Justin agreed to meet me outside by the lone, scraggly tree that had been randomly planted on the lawn near the school’s front entrance. By the time I got outside, he was already there, sprawled on the grass with his backpack wedged behind his head like a pillow.
“Hey,” I said, stopping near his legs. I wasn’t sure if I should sit down next to him or wait for him to stand up.
Justin squinted up at me. “Finally. My ass is getting numb.”
I stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets and smiled. “That’s what you get for lying on the ground in the middle of November.”
“I got tired of standing.” He got to his feet and reached down for his backpack, slinging it over one shoulder. “Want to walk?”
I nodded and we set off toward the road. Justin walked home after school, like Aubrey and Ethan and me. He lived on the other side of town from us, however, so he usually went in the opposite direction when we reached the road. Today, though, he stayed with me, his shoulder brushing mine as we walked down the narrow sidewalk. I tried to ignore the way my stomach swooped each time we connected.
Danger. Danger. Stand down.
We turned onto the paved walking path that cut through the small patch of green space between Dwyer Street and Fulham Road. I shifted sideways until I was practically in the trees and said, “So. Aubrey asked me to—”
“Hey, check it out.”