These Things I’ve Done

I clamped my mouth shut and followed his gaze to the fenced backyard of the house on our left, where there was a weather-beaten tree house resting in the branches of a massive oak. I’d taken this shortcut almost every day for more than a year, so this tree house had become part of the scenery, like the giant boulder about three feet off the path with the letters SW+KL spray-painted on it and the tiny squirrels that flitted up and down the trees. I barely even noticed it anymore.

But Justin never walked this way, so of course it caught his eye. Like me—like most kids—he’d probably always wanted a tree house but never got one.

“We should go in it.” He stepped off the path and approached the chain-link fence separating the yard from the path.

I stopped walking and watched him as he gripped the top of the fence with both hands. “Um. It’s someone’s private yard. We can’t just go in there. That’s trespassing.”

He turned to flash me a grin. “Are you saying you’ve never trespassed on private property . . . Dare-ya?”

I crossed my arms and smirked. He was mocking me, clearly, but the accompanying smile reduced some of the sting. The truth was, I hadn’t trespassed on private property before, but Justin didn’t need to know that.

“Come on.” He rattled the fence, testing its sturdiness. “No cars in the driveway and the house looks empty. No one will see us. Everyone works in this town.”

I glanced around at the streets and houses, quiet in the waning sun. He was right. Hyde Creek was a blue-collar town—everyone worked. Almost four o’clock on a Tuesday afternoon was probably the safest time to break rules without getting caught.

I walked over to the fence, dug my boot into one of the links, and hoisted myself over, landing with a muffled thump on the dying grass. Justin, who was still on the other side, nodded with approval.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist,” he said.

My skin glowed warm all over, despite the cold. He looked at me like he thought I was tough and fearless, like I could do anything. And in spite of the little voice in my brain telling me I shouldn’t care so much about impressing him, I did.

“Well?” I said, then turned and sprinted for the oak tree. Behind me, I heard the clang of the fence as Justin scrambled over. He appeared beside me as I reached the tree.

“Ladies first,” he said.

I examined the rickety ladder that stretched up through the tree house’s floor. “Nice try. You go first and see if it’s steady enough to hold our weight.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And if I fall?”

“I’ll make sure to move out of the way.”

Laughing, he grabbed onto the ladder and started pulling himself up. I scanned our surroundings, making sure no one was spying on us. No one was, but I kept checking anyway so I wouldn’t do what I really wanted to do, which was ogle Justin’s backside as he climbed.

“Okay,” he called softly from several feet above. “It seems pretty stable. Be careful on the ladder, though. Some of the rungs are loose.”

I took my time, testing each rung before putting weight on it, and soon I emerged into the tree house. As my eyes adjusted to the dimness, I could see it had been months—or possibly years—since anyone had been up here. The platform was covered in dirt and dead leaves, and whoever once played up here had taken any toys or belongings back down with them. All that remained was a crushed juice box and a few scraps of faded paper.

“Whoa,” I said as I crawled across the decaying boards to where Justin sat, facing the yard with his legs dangling off the edge of the base. I sat next to him, tensing as the branches creaked with the movement. Or maybe it was the tree house making that noise. Maybe we were about to plummet to the ground and die. “You can see the entire neighborhood from up here.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never sneaked up here before.” He nudged my leg with his. “Miss Adrenaline Junkie.”

The adrenaline was coursing, all right, and it was only partly due to being several feet above ground in a decrepit tree house. “There’s a first time for everything,” I said, then immediately regretted it when he gave me a wicked grin. My jacket suddenly felt like an electric blanket, burning against my body and making me sweat.

I decided to stop talking before I said something even more suggestive and inappropriate. Instead, I focused on the view in front of me. The sun was dipping lower in the sky, throwing shadows across the lawn below us. In the distance, windows began filling with yellow light as families arrived home from work and school. A dog barked a few houses away, and another, closer dog answered with his own series of barks.

“So,” I said, swinging my legs into the empty air and bringing us back to the reason we were together right now, “Aubrey’s parents are strict. She’s not exaggerating when she says they’ll stop her from seeing you. They will. If they ever find out, they won’t just take away her phone and ground her for a week. They’ll make her life hell . . . and yours too, if you don’t back off.”

He laughed. “You make them sound evil.”

“Not evil . . . more like overbearing. Aubrey’s under a lot of pressure at home.” I shivered in the damp cold. “So try to be patient with her, okay?”

He rested his forearms on his legs and peered down at the ground, silent. Finally, after a long pause, he turned his head toward me. “Did she tell you to talk to me?”

I nodded. “She wants you to understand what it’s like for her. She doesn’t think you really get it.”

“It’s not that I don’t get it, it’s just . . .” He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Her parents are only part of the issue, you know? I don’t usually date girls like Aubrey. She’s so damn driven. It’s intimidating. Sometimes I feel like she’s way too good for me.”

“I know,” I said. God, did I know.

“Like, she’d never set foot in this death trap of a tree house just because I suggested it. She’s too sensible and mature for stupid shit like this.”

“Gee, thanks.”

He breathed out a laugh. “Not an insult toward you. I never said sensible and mature are the kind of qualities I’m looking for in a girlfriend.”

My heart froze, followed quickly by my lungs. What was he saying? That I had the kind of qualities he looked for in a girlfriend? A little thrill shot through me, followed quickly by anxiety. I might have been attracted to Justin, but I could never be his girlfriend, even if he and Aubrey broke up. Nothing was worth hurting my friend like that.

“Aubrey really likes you,” I told him, hoping my voice didn’t sound as shaky as I felt. Maybe I was suffering from elevation sickness. I had to get back on solid ground.

“I really like her too,” he said. “And I’ll try to be more patient with her, like you said.”

My heart resumed its normal rhythm. I could breathe again. “Thanks.”

We managed to make it back down the ladder and over the fence without getting either injured or caught, then parted ways at the path. I walked the rest of the way home by myself, so confused and distracted that I almost missed the turn for my house.

By the time Aubrey called to grill me at nine thirty, I had myself convinced that I’d imagined the charged vibe with Justin in the tree house, because any other option made my stomach twist with unease. He thought I was fun, that was all. Entertaining. He liked Aubrey, maybe even loved her, and neither of us would do anything to hurt her.

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