These Things I’ve Done

THE SAME NIGHT I TOOK THE DEATH-DEFYING sprint across the monkey bars, Justin finally asked Aubrey out. By the end of September, they were officially a couple.

Aubrey and I both refused to hang out with Justin’s junior jerk friends at lunch, so most days, he sat wherever we did. I realized just how much he liked Aubrey the day he willingly joined us at a tableful of orchestra kids. Not that there was anything wrong with Aubrey’s musician friends, but Justin was more of a sports guy. I was into sports now too, but I felt comfortable at their table. Ethan usually sat there, and Sierra Humphrey, who I’d been friends with for years.

But Justin was definitely out of his element. When the discussion evolved into complaints about the new orchestra teacher, I noticed his eyes glazing over. Maybe mine were doing the same, because suddenly he looked at me and said, “Have you ever been skydiving?”

I glanced over at him, thrown by the randomness of his question. “What?”

“Skydiving. Jumping out of a plane with a parachute strapped to your back. You’ve never heard of it?” His eyes sparkled as he teased me, setting off a warm tingling in my stomach.

“I know what skydiving is, and no, I’ve never done it. Have you?”

“Not yet, but I’m doing it next month for my birthday.” He took a drink of his Gatorade. “My brother knows an instructor and he set it up for me.”

“That’s awesome,” I said, brimming with envy. Skydiving was like the ultimate daring activity—barreling toward the earth at top speed while wearing a parachute that might or might not open. The thought of it gave me chills. “It’ll be such a rush. I’d totally do it if I had the chance.”

Aubrey’s attention shifted back to us. “Do what?”

Justin turned to her. “I was just telling Dara about my birthday skydiving plans. She’s all for it, unlike you.”

She grimaced and bumped his shoulder with hers. He bumped her back, making her laugh.

“I’m afraid of heights,” Sierra said, overhearing us. “I couldn’t do it.”

The rest of the table joined in the conversation, everyone discussing whether or not they were brave enough to jump. Well, everyone except Ethan, who was watching Justin and me with a slight frown on his lips. Maybe he was picturing me falling to my death and preemptively blaming it on Justin.

“I’ll let you know what it’s like,” Justin said, nodding at me. “Providing I don’t die.”

I laughed. “Even if you do, I’d probably still want to try it.”

Aubrey rolled her eyes. “I think you’re both crazy.”

The skydiving talk fizzled out after that. Aubrey and the rest of the orchestra people went back to griping about their teacher while Justin caught my eye across the table. He smiled and shook his head at me, like he was wondering if there was anything I wouldn’t do.

Now that Aubrey was one half of a couple, at least one of her weekend nights was devoted to her boyfriend. I understood, of course, because I would have given up time with her too if it meant I got to spend it with a boy whose smile needed a warning label. While they went out on dates, I hung out with the girls from the volleyball team, which I’d joined at the beginning of the year. Or I spent time with Travis and Paige, who were together so much that neither of them minded sacrificing the occasional night of one-on-one time.

One Friday night in the middle of October, they invited me to go to the movies with them. Aubrey and Justin were seeing a movie too, but at a bigger theater a couple of towns away that had IMAX. I pictured them there, peering at the screen through 3D glasses, their hands accidentally meeting as they both reached for popcorn like some corny scene from a romantic comedy. More likely, Justin was making her laugh as she tried in vain to concentrate on the movie’s plot.

Just like I was struggling to do now, sitting with Paige and Travis.

“You want another Coke?” Paige whispered when she caught me yawning during a high-speed chase scene. “More popcorn? I could go out and get more.”

“Nah, I’m good.” I shot her a smile. She was always extra attentive with me when I tagged along with her and Travis. Unlike some friends, her actions seemed to say, I’ll always include you in my plans.

“You never offer to get me more popcorn,” Travis said on her other side.

“Um, excuse me. You never offer to get me any, either.”

The woman in front of us half turned to give us a dirty look, so I focused my attention on the female cop in the scene in front of me. She was totally badass, flipping men twice her size over on their backs and pointing her gun in their faces. It didn’t matter that they were bigger and possibly stronger than her—she was brave and confident and in control.

“Do you think I could do that?” I asked my friends after the movie ended and we were waiting in the theater lobby for Paige’s mom to pick us up.

“Do what?” Paige said, tapping on her cell phone screen.

I thought about the final scene in the movie, the way that badass cop rounded up all the criminals one by one, making the city safer with each arrest. “Be a police officer. Like the woman in the movie.”

“Seriously? You mean, like, the kind who chases down drug dealers and kicks people’s doors in and stuff?”

“Sure, why not?” I said, even though I was sure there were not-so-glamorous aspects to the job too. But that didn’t deter me.

“Officer Dare-ya.” Travis squinted at me like he was trying to picture me in uniform with a gun strapped to my belt. “Suits you, Shepard.”

Paige snorted. “Yeah, like your parents would be on board with you doing something so dangerous.”

She had a point. My parents claimed that each wrinkle and gray hair they had represented a bloodcurdling stunt I’d pulled. But the danger aspect was exactly what appealed to me—facing challenges, evaluating risks. Conquering and surviving.

“Someone’s got to do it,” I said, shrugging.

“Does Aubrey know you wanna be a cop?” Travis asked. He smirked like he was imagining her reaction.

“No. She’d probably try to talk me into becoming a librarian or something instead.”

“She’s not your mom,” Paige said, rolling her eyes. “It’s not her job to worry over you.”

“That’s just the way she is,” I told her. “She has a soft heart.”

“And she cares about people,” Travis added.

Paige grunted like she had a popcorn kernel stuck in her throat and grabbed Travis’s hand. Then she threaded her other arm through mine and pulled us both outside, where her mother was waiting to take us home.

“Proteins are made up of amino acids, not fatty acids,” Aubrey said, peering over at the notes in my lap. It was the next weekend, and we were lounging on her living room couch, studying together for our upcoming bio quizzes. “Lipids are made of fatty acids.”

I sent her a grateful smile and fixed my answer. “Thanks. I always get those mixed up.”

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