Speaking of going, Tatiana and I are moving to California! She got a job. I got a job. Both of us were lucky enough to find work in the same city: San Diego. I hear it’s beautiful, and am looking forward to leaving the desert in favor of the ocean. Not only that, but the TV station I’m going to work for is going to let me do sports! Chargers and Padres, woot-woot!
Oh, some bad news. I’ve tried to keep in touch with your father’s family, just in case. I’m not sure if you’re acquainted with your Uncle Drew, but he was a policeman. I say “was” because one of the bad guys killed him. I’m sorry about that. I liked Drew, even though I only met him in person once. When I’d call, asking about you, he could never offer any updates. But he was always kind, unlike your grandparents. Do you know them? I suspect you do, though they’ve never admitted it. Keeping us apart is more than callous. It’s unforgiveable.
September 11, 2009
Happiest birthday, my sweet Casey. Will you have a party and a cake with eleven candles? What kind of presents will you get? Maybe an iPod? Do you love music? I think you’re into hip-hop, don’t ask me why. Jay Z, perhaps, or Rihanna? When I was your age, I was all into country, but I left that behind in Texas. Are you in Texas? I hope not. I want more than that for you.
Tati and I have been in San Diego for ten months. Have you ever been here? It’s amazing! Perfect weather. Pacific Ocean. Big city, but not so big that you can’t live comfortably in the suburbs. And the people! Oh, Californians, at least most of them, embrace the motto “Live and let live.”
I mean, of all the states, with the possible exception of New York, California must be the most progressive. It doesn’t matter what color your skin is or who you’re in love with. As long as you embrace “Live and let live,” you can find happiness here. It’s refreshing, especially after the other places I’ve lived.
Of course, it’s not totally peace and love, or there wouldn’t be such a big need for victims’ advocates like Tati. Lots of crime in Southern California, though we haven’t seen a whole lot of it in our decent neighborhood. Working in the newsroom, I hear about it, though. I’m still a sports reporter, and loving my job.
I hope wherever you are (even if it is Texas) you’re happy there, too.
September 11, 2010
Oh, Casey! You’re twelve. I was thinking that if I saw you on the street I probably wouldn’t recognize you, and that made me so, so sad. But also mad! This giant bolt of anger, electric and white-hot, surged inside me. I wish I would’ve been angrier nine years ago. Wish I would’ve screamed from rooftops, knocked down doors, begged for TV airtime to take our story public. Instead, I passively waited for something to happen—for Jason to make a mistake, or for the cops to find him, or even for fate to bring you home to me.
That was my upbringing, Casey. That was my marriage. That was having self-respect beaten out of me. Learning the hard way not to question authority. I’m sorry I wasn’t tougher. I’m a different person today, and if—when—we’re together again, I’ll never let you down.
What are you like today? Do you still have coppery hair, or has it gone blond from the sun? Or maybe it’s even turned darker. Are you gold? Ginger? Auburn?
Are you athletic? Do you play soccer or softball or basketball? I wish I could take you to games with me. One of the best things about my job is watching from the sidelines. Best seats in the house, even if I’m mostly standing. I hope you like sports. I hope you’re a strong girl. I hope you’re happy. I hope you wonder about me.
September 11, 2011
Casey, my Casey. You’re officially a teenager today. Do you feel different having been awarded that designation? I remember when I was twelve I thought being a teen would magically change everything for the better. It didn’t, by the way.
Where has the time gone? Today is the tenth anniversary of the World Trade Center destruction. They’ve been rebuilding for a while now, and the plans for the new structures are grand! The replacement towers climb higher and higher, and One World Trade Center will be one of the tallest buildings on the planet once it’s complete. This morning, the memorial opens on the site and tonight the towers will be swathed in red, white, and blue lights.
Across the country, people can’t help but remember that terrible day. I know I’ll never forget it, not only because the events are seared into my memory, but also because it reminds me of you.
You’ve been gone for almost a decade. I’ve hunted and hunted for clues. But it’s as if a spaceship came down out of the sky, zapped you aboard, and flew away.
But I know you’re still on earth. My heart swears you’re here, and so I’ll keep chasing after every clue, no matter how small, until I find you.
September 11, 2012