“I’m coming to realize that,” she whispered, her voice so soft that it was almost just an exhale.
My hand ran up her shoulder and into her long blonde hair. This hair. Fuck, this hair. It was gorgeous and soft, and all I wanted to do was pull it and watch her eyes roll back into her head with delight. A gasp escaped her mouth at my touch, and I took that as answer enough. I tilted her head up to look at me, but her eyes fluttered closed.
I could feel her heart racing away. She wanted this, no matter what she’d said or how she stalled what felt inevitable.
Because Heidi and I were inevitable.
There was no denying how I felt or where this was going. I might slow down when she told me to slow down. Pump the brakes when the cracks in her facade began to crumble. But I could never turn around and walk away. There was no amount of distance between us that could make me step back.
“Heidi,” I murmured.
“Hmm?”
“Look at me.”
Her eyes opened hesitantly, as if she couldn’t face her own reality. As if she would give in the minute she saw the depth of affection in my eyes.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Falling for you.”
There was no accusation in her eyes. It was deep emotional turmoil. One step forward and two steps back. A struggle to reel in how much she wanted this and how terrified she was to let go. Because, if she let go…she could get hurt. She could succumb to something she had sworn she would not do.
Heidi was a fighter. She was resilient. She wasn’t going to let me win unless she wanted it, too. Until she was ready.
I could see how torn in two she was. Denying what she wanted and sticking to her guns, all at the same time.
“You can’t fall for me, Landon.”
“It’s too late. It’s done.”
“Not good enough,” she said.
“I’m a goner, Heidi. Can’t you see?”
She swallowed hard and nodded. She could see it on my face. She knew that I hadn’t been lying to her about Miranda. I was leaving her permanently this time. No separation. Just a good clean break—or as clean as I could make it.
But it didn’t eliminate all of our issues. And I was trying hard to meet her halfway about me being her boss. I knew it worried her, but we could get around it. I knew we could.
“I think…I think you need time. I mean, I don’t know what I think,” she said.
“I don’t need time. I’ve had all the time I needed.”
“Well then, I need time,” she told me.
I opened my mouth to convince her otherwise. But we’d already been here before. We had been here a few days ago. I would kiss her. She’d give in and then freak out. Then, she’d be pissed at me, and I’d have to start from scratch. Rinse and repeat.
I wanted to stop this endless cycle. But I couldn’t. Not here. Not now.
My head nodded of its own accord, and I took a step back. She looked like she was going to say something, but then she stopped. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t. We were both in limbo.
Then, the front door opened, and both our heads darted to the foyer.
“Uncle Landon!” Colton cried, sprinting into the living room and barreling into me.
I laughed because I couldn’t help it. I never saw my nephew enough. Jensen and Emery always flew to New York City to go see Colton where he lived with his mom. I hadn’t realized Jensen had made an exception for Emery’s birthday, but I approved.
I hoisted the seven-year-old up into my arms and groaned. “You are getting so big,” I joked.
Truthfully, I probably shouldn’t have picked him up with my back the way it was, but eh. I’d deal with the aftermath of that later. Though ignoring the problem was probably how I’d kept reinjuring it the first place.
“I’m turning into a man,” Colton confirmed for me.
Heidi and I both laughed.
“Who did you come with? Your nanny?”
“Nanny Jenn flew with me, but Aunt Kimber brought me and Lilyanne over for the party.”
And just then Emery’s sister, Kimber, walked into the room. She was holding her daughter, Lilyanne’s, hand while her husband, Noah, toted their eight-month-old baby, Bethany.
“Hey, Landon. Heidi,” Kimber said. She pulled Heidi in for a hug, not noticing how flustered she had been a second before. “Good to see you.”
“Hey, Kimber,” Heidi said.
“Are you all set for the party?”
“Yeah, pretty much. Just waiting for everyone else to get here.”
I set Colton down, and he and Lilyanne immediately started kicking the black balloons all around the living room. I had a feeling they were going to all be popped before Emery even showed up.
“And you, Landon,” Kimber said, giving me a hug. “How are you holding up? Emery told me you hurt your back again.”
“Nothing some of your famous chocolate cake can’t fix.”
Kimber owned a bakery downtown called Death by Chocolate. She was an amazing cook and baker and I used to eat her chocolate cake all the time in high school.
She laughed and shook her head. “Well, you haven’t changed a bit.”
How wrong she was.
My eyes shifted to Heidi’s, and at the exact moment, she looked at me. Judging by her expression, she was thinking the same thing. Things had changed a hell of a lot since high school. Right now, I was looking at my ex-girlfriend’s best friend like I’d give up the chocolate cake in a heartbeat to eat her for dessert.
Seventeen
Landon
The rest of my family showed up—Austin, Morgan, and Sutton along with her husband, Maverick, and their newborn baby, Jason. Julia showed up last, running into the room as if the house were on fire. She’d taken one look at Austin and parked herself on the opposite side of the room.
I was for sure going to ask him about that later. I had gotten enough shit from him about Heidi that having dirt on him about someone was probably a good way to deflect later.
Emery was stunned when she walked in. She seemed genuinely thrilled to see everyone in a room, celebrating the day of her birth. We all sang “Happy Birthday” with varying levels of skill, and then she blew the candles out.
“So, do we get cake then?” Colton asked. He had nudged Lilyanne out of the way and was leaning on the island in the kitchen, staring at the chocolate cake that Kimber had brought with her from the bakery.
Emery laughed. “Yes, we all get cake!”
She winked at Kimber, who took a cake-cutting knife from the counter and went to work.
Emery hummed under her breath to the Bagel Bites theme song, “Cupcakes in the morning, cookies in the evening, chocolate at suppertime. When Kimber’s in the kitchen, you can eat baked goods anytime.”
“Oh my God,” I said as Kimber passed out cake to the kids first. “I have not heard that song in a long time.”
“You’re lucky,” Kimber muttered.
“Does she still sing it to you every time you bake?”
“Often enough.”
“Hey,” Emery said, “it’s a good song! It’s catchy.”
“It’s a commercial jingle for Bagel Bites that you changed the words to.”
Emery shrugged. “And? I’m clever.”