“You’ve been doing this whole I-know-you-so-well act tonight. And, sure, you might know me, but you can’t forget that I know you just as well, which means that I know you are not here just to hang out with me.”
“You’re right. You do know me, Heidi. That’s the point. You’ve been avoiding me and walking away from me and refusing to listen to me all week when I’ve been standing right in front of you, trying to make things right.”
“Maybe I don’t want to make things right.”
“Why? Because of this guy?” Landon asked, pointing out Nick. “The guy is so oblivious, he can’t even see what’s right in front of his eyes. I could have made out with you on the pool table, and he would have clapped his hands and applauded at how good you are.”
“That is not true,” I cried. “Fuck, I don’t even want to get into this with you.”
I stomped away from him, toward the restroom.
His footsteps alerted me of his presence before he grabbed my elbow. “Heidi, stop.”
I should have known he wouldn’t let me walk away. And, now, we were alone in a back hallway that led to the restrooms where no one could see us.
I whirled around and smacked his hand where he was touching me. “I don’t get what the hell you hope to accomplish here. Following after me and cornering me again? That’s not smart. Not only am I here with someone else, but you are also my boss.”
“Yeah, I am! Who the fuck cares?”
“I do!”
“Well, Christ, Heidi, I know how important your job is to you. I get it. I’m not trying to get you fired. And I don’t think you would get fired even if someone found out.”
“You can’t possibly know that. That’s such an incredibly naive way of thinking. Julia is one of my closest friends. I know that she has fired people or moved people to different branches of the company for less than this.”
“Less than what? One kiss before I was your boss? Because you keep telling me there’s nothing here.” He moved forward, caging me in. “Or is it that there is something here? And we are something more, but you refuse to acknowledge it.”
His lips were mere inches from my face, and my body was pulsing in response to his words. His hands trailed down my bare arms. All cognizant thoughts fled my mind. I wanted to give in to this. Just as I had wanted to at the reunion and all those months ago at Christmas. But I couldn’t.
“What part of date do you not get, Landon?” I asked, shoving him backward.
“The part where you’re not with me!” he growled.
“You are married!”
“Well, if you’d just fucking talk to me, you would know that I’m divorcing her!”
“Wait…what?” I asked, momentarily dumbfounded.
“Yeah, I’m leaving her!”
I shook my head. “You said that last time, and you still went running back to her like a dog with his tail between his legs.”
“Is that what you think happened?” he asked, his voice low and seriously pissed. “Last time, we were separated. I’d told her I was leaving her. And, now, I officially am, Heidi. I didn’t know she would be in town that day. I had no clue what kind of shit she was trying to pull. I’m here trying to fix my fucking mistakes.”
My jaw fell open at his confession. “You’re really leaving her?”
“Yes.”
His hands brushed down my arms again. When I didn’t say anything in response, he moved in closer. Our anger and frustrations scorched through the space between us. My brain couldn’t keep up with my body.
My brain was saying, Walk away. Don’t give in. Keep your defenses up.
My body was saying, Touch me, feel me, devour me.
His fingers grazed my waist, bunching up the material of my dress and forcing us back against the wall. Our gazes met, and my chest was heaving with desire and panic.
I could not give in to him.
I so wanted to give in to him.
He nuzzled my neck with the stubble of his five o’clock shadow. My breaths came out in spurts. And, at the first kiss on my neck, I was a goner. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. Wanting this, needing this.
“Fuck, Heidi,” he groaned.
My hands wrapped around his shoulders, feeling the muscles in his back as I dragged him against me. I forgot where we were or what I was doing. I was just living in the moment. He grasped the back of one of my legs and hoisted it up around his waist. His fingers slipped up my dress and dug into my exposed thigh, leaving indents as he reveled in the taut muscle.
He kissed up my neck and sucked on my earlobe. A desperate, throaty breath escaped my mouth.
“Landon…”
“Come back home with me.”
“I can’t,” I whispered.
His lips grazed mine, and it took everything in me not to give in to that kiss. And, God, I wanted to. I wanted everything he was offering.
“This is what I wanted if I’d won,” he said. “Just you.”
I whimpered at that. My hands fisted his shirt. My heart beat as fast as if I had run a marathon. His words were so enticing. Exactly what I had wanted to hear all along.
But, if I gave in, I’d hate myself later. I’d hate myself for not waiting until the divorce was finalized…if it was ever finalized. I’d hate that he was my boss, and with one kiss, I could lose the career I’d worked so hard for. And I’d hate that I’d hurt Nick. Though I didn’t feel for him what I felt for Landon, it wasn’t right to allow this to happen.
Finally, with all the willpower I could muster, I pushed Landon back. “No.”
“No?” he asked with a furrowed brow. “No what?”
“This doesn’t change anything.”
“What the hell, Heidi?”
“You just dropping on me that you’re leaving Miranda doesn’t change anything,” I told him.
“Of course not. I tell you I’m leaving my wife and that I want to be with you, and that means nothing to you? Makes perfect sense.”
“But you haven’t left her yet! You’re still with her!”
“Legally, we’re separated. And in another couple of months, we’ll be divorced,” he groaned. “You want to wait around for her to sign a document that I initiated and already signed. One that says our marriage is irretrievably broken and that we’re unable to mend our irreconcilable differences.”
“I don’t know, Landon. I don’t know about any of that. It’s all too much at once. I’m on a date with someone else, and you’re trying to seduce me. That’s fucked up.”
Landon took a step back and sighed. He closed his eyes for a second. I could tell that he hated how this had all happened. Maybe not the kissing part, but that it had gotten so out of control.
I was shaking and just wanted to leave. Not that I wanted to see Nick. I obviously had to break it off after what had happened. I’d already been planning to do it, but this thing with Landon made it inevitable. Julia was going to kick my ass for messing up a good thing. If only I’d had the slightest connection with Nick. If only Landon hadn’t come back to town.
“You’re right,” he finally said.
“I am?”
“Yes. This wasn’t what I wanted to happen. And I’m sorry for ruining your date.”
“You are?” I narrowed my eyes, wondering what the catch was.