My voice shakes when I answer her. “Yeah, I know that spot.”
“So the story starts when one night I see you there and you look lonely, kind of like me. I think that you need a friend.”
“And then you discover that I’m an asshole.”
She bites her lips to keep from smiling but her eyes twinkle. “Yes. But then you kiss me.”
This time, I can’t stop the roll of my hips against hers, making her whimper. She feels hot, even through the layers of clothing. Our bodies are aroused and ready, waiting for our hearts to catch up.
“What happens when I kiss you?”
“I…I feel like you could eat me alive with your mouth and I’ve never felt that before. I’ve never been anyone’s sustenance, and I want to keep going forever.”
I want to do that to her now. I want to eat her up, fill my mouth with her taste. It’s been long, so very long. I’m hungry. Starving. For her. But not yet. Not yet.
“Yeah, but in a classic move, I fuck it all up.”
“You do, but you don’t stop there. You keep fucking up, until I can’t take it anymore.”
I laugh as my eyes sting. “I’m a piece of shit. Are you sure I’m the hero of this story?” Fuck, I just want to touch her. Just once. That’s all I want. I won’t even ask for anything else. I just want to touch her and tuck her into my body and hold her, but I don’t dare move my hand. I won’t take what she isn’t willing to give—even though it kills me, even though everything burns.
“But you make up for it.”
“Do I?”
Have I done enough? Have I shown her enough? I don’t know. I don’t know if she realizes how much I love her. I haven’t said those words yet, but I want her to know. I want her to see it in my eyes because I bleed with it, I burn with it, and for the first time in my life, I don’t mind it. I wouldn’t mind it if she burned me alive or destroyed me. I’d keep on going. I’d keep on loving her.
I hear the thud of her notebook falling, and in the next second, she’s the one touching me. She puts her hands on my cheeks and presses back into me with her hips. I shudder, my cock going full mast, and my forehead meets hers.
“Yes, Thomas. You do. You have. God, please tell me you know that. Please tell me you think I’m a bitch for making you wait this long.”
“Layla,” I warn.
“Then you’re just stupid.” She goes on her tiptoes and hooks one leg around my waist. “You won’t even touch me, you idiot. You’re still not touching me. If I move back for whatever reason, you back off like it’s you I’m running from. You pick me up from fucking college when I can very easily ride the subway like every other person in New York. You stay up all night, helping me study over Skype because you think I don’t want you in my apartment. You won’t even ask to come over. It’s frustrating.”
There was a time when her desperation made me feel powerful, but now I admit that I was just as desperate for her. It still holds true. “You said you didn’t know what to do with it, so I’ve been waiting.”
“Well, I’m tired of your waiting, you moron.”
She jumps and hooks her other leg around my hips. The move is so familiar. So many times she has simply wound her limbs around me, like we have always belonged together, like it’s always been that simple.
“I even talked to Nicky about it,” she tells me with mischief in her voice.
“About what?”
“That you’re taking too long. That I love him so, so much. And I...” She bites her lip and stares at me through her lashes, making my heart skip a beat. “I know I’m not the best person to take care of a baby. I mean, I’m kinda crazy and impulsive, and... But I love him so much and I’ll—”
“Hey, you’re my everything. Every goddamn thing, Layla,” I say, my voice wrapped up in gravel and a million swelling emotions that taste like tears. “Besides, love is enough. It has to be. We can figure out the rest.”
Maybe it is simple, being together. I want to tell her, but she beats me to it. “I love you.”
I sigh, and it feels like the very first time. It’s the first time I’ve breathed. “I fucking love you too.”
She beams even though her eyes are wet. “So that’s what it feels like.”
“What?”
“When someone says those three words back to you. I’ve always wondered.”
“Technically, it was five words.”
“I’ll take them. It’s even better. Fucking makes everything so much more…amazing and epic.” She rubs her core over my cock and I can’t keep the groan inside this time. Smiling, she closes her eyes and breathes me in. “I feel like I can walk on water.”
“Yeah? Don’t do that, though. That’s not real, baby.”
“You’re such an ass.” Opening her eyes, she chuckles and tightens her hold around my body. It’s getting harder to support her weight without my arms. They are plastered to the wall, one last barrier between us. I should let go of the brick and wind them around her, but something is holding me back.
“Are you going to kiss me any time soon?”
“Tell me. Give me the words, Layla.”
She smiles as a single tear falls down her cheek. “You don’t have to wait for me anymore, Thomas. You never have to wait.”
That’s when my arms come off the wall and touch her. One hand goes to her ass, the other to the back of her head, and I kiss her.
This time it’s me with an epiphany: I’ve always been brave. I just needed to look deeply into myself. I was brave enough to bring a child into this world. I was brave enough to love him with all my heart and soul, knowing that life is transient and fleeting.
There are many things uncertain in life. There are many hurdles still to overcome. Our love will grow and change, and we’ll change with it. But today, I make a promise to myself.
I’ll always be brave rather than fearless.
I’ll make my own rules rather than follow them.
And I’ll love. I’ll always love my violet-eyed girl, Layla Robinson.
THE END