“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I murmur, watching her eyes flutter open, staring down into my own to see the truth of what I just said.
Letting go of the hold I have on her hair, I slide my palm back down her spine and wrap my arm around her body, holding her chest tightly to mine as I continue working my hand between her legs, touching her exactly how I know she likes.
I push deep and hold my fingers still inside her, curling them and pressing my thumb harder against her clit as she explodes, shouting my name and riding her release against my hand. I press my lips to hers and memorize everything about this moment until it’s burned into my brain and stamped onto my heart.
She takes away my pain.
She erases all the bad memories.
She makes everything good again and I never want this feeling to end.
As her body jerks in my arms and the movement of her hips slows with the end of her orgasm, I realize that the speed in which she just came fills me with equal parts amazement, jealously, and anger.
Amazement that she still craves me so much that she can’t hold back and that I still know how to touch her to make her fall apart so quickly.
Jealousy that someone else had the privilege of touching her like this while I was gone.
Anger that he obviously doesn’t appreciate the gift he has and doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing since I made her get off in record time.
Which brings me right back to amazement. She’s so perfect and beautiful when she lets go and trusts me to take care of her. After all this time, after all the hurt that lies between us…even if she wants to deny it, at least she still trusts me with this.
Shelby closes her eyes and rests her forehead against mine, trying to catch her breath and slow the rapid thump of her heart I can feel beating against my own. Even though I want to keep a piece of myself buried inside her for eternity, I move my hand from between her legs and wrap my arm around her body with the other one that still holds her tight.
Neither one of us says a word and she doesn’t make a move to push me away or get off my lap. I silently wish the morning sun that begins to rise and the rays that start to shine through the window behind us would go away. I know as soon as the full light of day gets here, this moment will be broken and the reality of what just happened will come crashing back to Shelby, so I take what she’s giving me now and enjoy it.
No matter what happens next, I will do all that I can to prove to her she can trust me with everything again, including her heart. I’ll make her forget about the douche bag who hasn’t taken care of her and doesn’t deserve her and I’ll make her remember that this is where she belongs and where she was always meant to be.
Chapter 16
Shelby
Will you stop pacing. You’re making me dizzy,” Meredith complains as I pause from taking another loop around my living room and glare at her.
I’ve done nothing but walk in circles, muttering to myself about how stupid I am, ever since I walked through the door of the guest house thirty minutes ago at the crack of dawn and found Meredith sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in her hand, smirking at me.
“And for God’s sake, stop mumbling and tell me why I caught you sneaking in here with a glow on your face, flushed skin, and sex hair,” she finishes, taking a casual sip of her coffee and hiding her smile behind the lip of the mug.
We haven’t spoken about anything of importance since she stormed away from me the other day, fed up with me and my unwillingness to confide in her. As much as I want to growl at her for the sex hair comment, I miss talking to my friend. Arguing with Eli, arguing with Meredith, quietly seething about Landry and our sham of a relationship and the…whatever that was that happened with Eli in the middle of the night has piled up on top of the wall I’ve built and brought it crashing down into rubble at my feet. I’m tired of not being strong. I’m tired of not standing up for myself, and losing myself in Eli just proves how weak I’ve become. As much as I wanted it, as much as I loved every minute of the way he instinctively knew how to touch me, I feel like an idiot for allowing it to happen.
“I was with Eli last night.”
Meredith laughs, leaning forward to set her mug on the coffee table in front of her.
“Pretty sure I already got that memo. I guess it’s a good thing you refilled your birth control prescription. How about you tell me why you seem to be pissed about it.”
I sigh, walking around the table and flopping down on the couch next to her.
“You know why, Mer. I mean, I just broke things off with Landry. And even though she basically fired me and has been keeping her distance, my mother still has the power to ruin things. I can’t afford to take that chance,” I explain.
“Nice try. Tell me why you’re really pissed.”
With a huff, I turn my body to face her and cross my arms over my chest.
“That is why I’m really pissed. Do I need another reason?”
She shakes her head at me, mirroring my pose.
“First of all, fuck Landry. You said it yourself, you broke things off with him, so who cares? Second, your mother has been ruining things for you your entire life. You’re pissed because Eli got under your skin and you think it makes you look weak,” she informs me.
Just like always, she reads my mind and knows exactly what I’m thinking and the root of the problem.
“He hurt me and he broke my heart and he still hasn’t explained why. A few minutes alone with him and I suddenly forget about all of that, and what’s more, I didn’t even care. As soon as he touched me, I didn’t care that he left and I didn’t care that the only explanation I got was some stupid lie about letters he wrote me,” I tell her, throwing my hands up in the air in irritation. “I walked into that tack room and found him having a nightmare. It was horrible and I couldn’t think about anything but taking away his pain and making him forget what he went through.”
Meredith reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze.
“Tell me how you felt, when all of this was happening with him. Not how you feel now, after it’s done, how you felt in that exact moment when you were together.”
I don’t even have to close my eyes to remember how good it felt to be in his arms again. How perfect it was to hear his voice, speaking so softly and lovingly. My body still tingles from the orgasm he gave me, and my heart beats faster thinking about how he still knew the exact way to touch me to give me pleasure, like he’d memorized it all those years ago and never let it slip from his mind.
“Flawless. Beautiful. Wanted,” I whisper, answering Meredith’s question.