Maggie stops me at the front door and gives me a big hug, but I can’t feel it. I’m too numb.
“Thank you for coming. I’m sorry I’ve ruined your weekend,” she apologizes.
“It’s no big deal.” I force a smile but I can’t look her in the face.
“It’s hard when she gets like that,” she says, misreading why I’m upset. “Her doctor wants to see her in the morning.”
“I’ll try to stop by tomorrow. Sunday at the latest,” I promise. This time I’ll keep that vow. I’ll come every day until I can catch her on a good one. She may not have any answers, but the piece of paper weighing down my purse says otherwise.
I’m nearly out the door when Maggie calls out. “By the way, it was nice to meet your man!”
The giddy feeling that usually accompanies talk of Jude is absent. Tonight has stolen it from me.
“Thank you,” I say simply, moving to leave.
“I was wondering if he would find you.”
I shut the door and turn back to her.
“What do you mean?” I ask, already dreading the answer.
“Well, he came here looking for you. Old friends, he said. Met in California, wasn’t it?” She studies my face not able to hide her curiosity at my reaction.
I swallow and nod, realizing why Jude didn’t want to revisit his story over dinner. He’d been leaving parts out as well.
“He didn’t mention he came here,” I say finally.
“Yes, and he visited your grandmother too. She was having a good day,” Maggie continues, completely oblivious. “I can’t believe I forgot to mention it. A man like that comes here looking for Faith Kane, and I forget to tell you.”
“He found her,” I say in a quiet voice.
“Yes, he did, didn’t he? Fate works in mysterious ways.”
“You didn’t tell him I was in Port Townsend?” The question cracks in my throat.
“I would never do that, even though he’s awfully handsome. Privacy policy, remember? I just had to hope he’d track you down on his own.”
“Of course,” I say, my mouth going dry. “I guess I’m lucky he found me.”
Chapter 21
I drive home at a speed that far exceeds reckless. The trees are an inky blur outside the car window just like my life. I have a million questions that I need answered, but demanding them means opening the part of me I’ve locked away.
Jude hadn’t happened into my life, he’d breached it. Discovering why might destroy me and the hope for us completely.
As the sign for Port Townsend comes into view, I know there’s a choice coming. I can take the road to my house or his. I choose the well-traveled one, but as soon as I turn onto my street I spot his Jeep: a splash of yellow in the dark night. My decision’s been made for me. He’s made it for me again. When I reach the front door, I pause on the threshold. I can’t even enter my own home. He’s infected it, too. Just like he’s tainted me.
He’s inside the house. He’s inside my life. I want him out of both.
“Why are you here?” Anger trembles in my voice as I call from the doorway.
Jude tosses a few stray toys into a basket before he makes his way to me. I step onto the porch so we won’t wake Amie.
“I wanted to check in on you. Amie said you weren’t home yet, so I stuck around to put little man to bed.”
“You should go,” I look past him, trying to see a future without him.
“What’s going on, Sunshine?” he asks. When I don’t answer, he reaches out and tilts my chin until our eyes meet.
“You know.” Two simple words that say everything. The simplicity doesn’t diminish the weight of the accusation. If anything, I feel it more acutely now. Betrayal. Fear. Underneath the paralyzing numbness of these emotions, grief waits for me.
Jude doesn’t press me to continue. He doesn’t pepper me with questions. Because he’s always known this moment would come.
“I wasn’t sure what to expect,” I admit, pulling away from him. “The whole drive home I imagined what you were going to say—how you were going to explain this.”
“I’ve been asking myself the same question for months.” He doesn’t make an excuse or insult me by feigning ignorance. But he doesn’t try to reach for me again. His shoulders draw up and a muscle twitches in his jaw. He’s going on the defensive. I can’t blame him. I feel every bit as alert as he does.
“When were you going to tell me?” I demand.
“When were you going to tell me?” he repeats, but I ignore him.
“You’ve known everything the whole time.” I search his face for a clue that I’m wrong but the truth of it is in his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me she was dead?”
His eyes clench shut as he sucks in a deep breath. Jude opens his mouth and closes it again.
“You didn’t know?” The realization falls softly from my lips.
“No,” he murmurs. “I didn’t. I’m sorry to hear that.”