She claimed I loved her, but that was just wishful thinking.
I didn’t.
At least, I wouldn’t admit it to her or myself.
Dunbar just returned from vacation, and he was still cold to me. He obviously hadn’t forgiven me for my error in judgment, and I couldn’t exactly blame him. He lost friends when Joseph ambushed the castle with his men. It was their job to protect me and the keep, but that was an unnecessary war that could have been easily avoided.
If I’d thought with my brain and not my dick.
The next day, I was taking a trip to my distillery in Edinburgh. I knew London would be in the city, but I hadn’t planned to acknowledge her existence. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t think about her.
Because I always thought about her.
I completed my physical training in the morning, which was excruciating since the muscle had been so severely damaged, and then I sat in the back of the car as Dunbar drove me into the city.
All I had to do was call Dimitri, and I would figure out exactly where she was.
But I didn’t make the request.
I stayed strong—learning from my past mistake.
4
London
I couldn’t say I was surprised by Crewe’s reaction.
I didn’t expect him to forgive me in a heartbeat and take me back in his arms. I knew it would take more time, greater effort. But I didn’t expect him to be so merciless and cold. I knew he still cared about me. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. But Crewe was the proudest man I’d ever known.
Image was everything to him.
A week passed, and I didn’t hear from him. I was working in a clinic in Edinburgh that wasn’t too far from his new distillery. I didn’t pick the location on purpose. That just happened to be where they stationed me. The pay wasn’t amazing, but the cost of living was cheap enough that I managed. I had a small flat in the city, which allowed me to walk anywhere I wanted. There was a grocery store nearby, and of course, the view was incredible. I was living in one of the oldest towns in the world, but it didn’t feel as historic as the castle I shared with Crewe.
As more time passed, the more I realized I may never get him back.
Everything was working against us, mainly his bitterness. I think all men should be a little proud, but he took it to a new level. It was probably his royal heritage that made him that way. I wasn’t sure what else it could be caused by.
Joseph called me in the afternoon, the same time he called me every day. He knew I was in Edinburgh alone, and being the protective older brother that he was, he needed to check on me. “How’s it going?”
“It’s okay.” I couldn’t really enjoy my new surroundings when I was swallowed by misery.
“Hasn’t called, huh?”
“No…”
“I’m sorry, Lon. But I told you he wouldn’t.”
“I think he just needs some time. I haven’t lost all hope yet.”
“Well, you should. He’s not gonna change his mind.”
I was prepared to let him go if I had to, but I didn’t want to. I certainly didn’t want to return to New York and try to start over, to find a man who made my heart flutter the way Crewe did. I couldn’t fall for another man when I was already in love with someone across the world. “It’s only been a week.”
“It could be a year, and it wouldn’t change anything.” Joseph liked to make his opinion extremely well known, regardless of how it made me feel. He never beat around the bush, not even to protect my ego.
“Maybe I should try contacting him again.”
“And what will that do?”
“Hopefully something.” I had no way of contacting him. All I knew was where he lived, but I feared I wouldn’t be so welcome there a second time. “Or you could give me his number…”
“I could, but I’d rather not.”
Joseph would help me if I pushed him enough. “If I could meet him somewhere else, that would be fine. But he doesn’t leave the castle too often.”
“I’m sure he does. He has that scotch facility in Edinburgh.”
“Yeah, but he usually sends Ariel to do that stuff for him.” Crewe seemed to have recovered from his wound well, but he was probably limiting his outdoor adventures. “Unless you can tell me where he is…”
“You think I’m a spy or something?”
“I have no idea what you do, Joseph. And that’s because I’ve never asked.” I didn’t want to know what his criminal activities were. Since he was my brother, it was better if I didn’t know. I had to love him no matter what, and it would be difficult if I knew he was a murderer.
“Give me his number. Maybe I can get him to meet me somewhere.”
“You know, chasing a guy like this seems kinda desperate.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Just give me the number, Joseph.”
After he finally handed it over, I hung up and called Crewe. Every time it rang, my heart moved into my throat. I could hardly breathe because I was nervous, utterly terrified whether he answered or he didn’t.
“This is Crewe.” He spoke with a rich voice that was smooth just like scotch. I missed the way his voice sounded when his lips were pressed against my ear. Just his voice alone could bring me to my knees.
“It’s London.”
Crewe remained silent, the sound of a moving car acting as the background. It sounded like he was on the road, probably in the back seat while one of his men drove him around.
I didn’t expect him to say anything else, so I continued onward. “Where are you headed?”
“Does it matter?”
I didn’t appreciate Crewe’s coldness, but I would have to deal with it for the time being. “If you’re on your way to Edinburgh, maybe we can have dinner.”
“I am on my way to Edinburgh. But let’s skip the dinner.”
Maybe Crewe wasn’t lying. Maybe he truly did stop caring about me. “You’ve gotta eat sometime, right?” I kept the conversation playful, knowing that would get to him better. I’d already cried my eyes out, and I couldn’t do it anymore.
“In this instance, I’d rather go hungry.”
He was ice-cold, and my heat couldn’t force him to melt. “I’m working at a family practice clinic here in town. After working all day, it would be nice to relax over a bottle of wine. But you know I can’t drink an entire bottle on my own.”
“You’re a beautiful woman. I’m sure you can find someone to share it with you.”
I rubbed my temple at the brush-off. “Have dinner with me.” Joseph was right, I did feel desperate chasing him like this. This man kept me as his prisoner for months, and now I was doing everything I could to get him back. He was the only man I’d ever fought for like this. Times like this made me wonder if it was worth it.
“I have a date tonight.”
I didn’t want to believe that was true because it killed me, but I didn’t know why else he was going to Edinburgh later in the day. But there was a chance he was lying, trying to hurt me enough so I would hang up. “Make a rain check.”