It wasn’t that I didn’t want these things, or that I was about to tell him no. In fact, if I could’ve shut my brain off long enough, I would’ve jumped into his arms and given him anything he asked for. But that was just it…I couldn’t shut it off. Not only did I still have things with my mom to figure out, but I also had to deal with my own issues. I’d kept things inside for six years, buried it all way down deep, and now that they’d been dug up and brought into the light, there was no way I could ignore it any longer.
“Take care of your mom,” he whispered, and pressed a chaste kiss to my forehead. “But promise me you’ll think about this, too.”
I nodded, assuring him I’d give his agreement thought, and then headed back inside.
And that’s exactly what I did.
As I prepared dinner, I thought about it.
Lying next to him in bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
And every day since, it’d been on my mind.
But I still wasn’t ready to give him back the revised agreement.
My mom had physical therapy Tuesdays and Thursdays, which Cash had offered to drive us to. Each time, he hauled us the almost-three hours there, and then three hours back. He helped facilitate the transition from her doctors on the east coast to a private practice on the island. And when he wasn’t pitching in with either her or Aria, he was out scouting places for my mom to live.
“I feel like she doesn’t want to move,” he said one night in bed, two weeks after she’d come to stay in his house. “Everything I find, she has a problem with. I don’t care if she stays here, but I figured she’d like a place of her own…I mean, she’s mentioned it a dozen times.”
I traced invisible lines on his chest with my head on his shoulder, our bare bodies wrapped together as one beneath the covers. “She’s extremely appreciative of everything you’re doing. I promise you that. But I’m pretty sure the thought of selling her house is causing mixed emotions.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Just things I’ve gathered from her conversations with Bryn.”
Her therapist had agreed to a more unconventional form of therapy—phone calls and occasional FaceTime sessions. And she’d even let me be a part of it. She truly was an amazing person who had her patients’ best interests at heart, and it showed every time she was there for my mom—and when I’d needed it, for me as well. The amount of healing we’d been able to receive over the last two weeks was extraordinary, and I’d never be able to thank her enough for her patience and guidance.
“My dad bought that house for her when I was a baby, so there’s sentimental value in it. But after finding out what took place there…” I instinctually tightened my hold on Cash. “She can’t bear to hold onto it. So I think it’s a struggle between the good and the bad it holds in her life.”
“That makes sense. I just didn’t want to step on toes or make her feel like I was trying to push her away. I’m trying to follow the lead here, but sometimes I feel lost, like I’m unsure where I’m needed.” Cash had been so much help, and I loved having him around so much.
“Just keep doing what you’re doing. Eventually, things will all fall into place.”
“How are you holding up? I feel like everything has been about your mom or Aria.”
I loved how he always made sure I was being taken care of, too. There’d been days I had barely eaten, and he’d pulled me aside to give me a sandwich or a bowl of fruit. Cash always made sure I took a break and focused on myself—even if it was only for five minutes. Then there were the nights in his bed, when he made sure everything centered around me. Even if we didn’t make love, he still pampered me and let me know I was just as important as the woman with pins and a plate in her hip and the toddler who needed help with everything. To him, I was more than a mom, more than a caregiver, more than a driver or nurse or appointment keeper.
I was special.
I was loved.
I was his.
“Honestly…I’ve never felt better. There’s still a long road ahead of us, and we all still have so much to figure out, but I feel hopeful about everything. Like nothing will stop us or get in our way.”
It’d been five days since Cash had heard from his old boss, Rhett. I hadn’t realized it until then, but I’d been holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I trusted Cash, and I’d believed him when he promised I’d never have to worry about my stepdad again, but it wasn’t until we’d learned that he’d been found dead in his cell that I could finally breathe. Apparently, he had a heart attack in the middle of the night. I didn’t put it past Rhett or his team to have facilitated that. When I mentioned that theory to Cash, he simply kissed my forehead and told me it was over. I didn’t ask any more questions.
An autopsy had been performed, proving the cause of death, but that didn’t mean anything to me. Rhett had fabricated lab reports and DNA evidence from legitimate law enforcement officials, so I wouldn’t put it past him to have the same done by a coroner. But either way, whether it was natural or induced, I didn’t care. The devil was gone, and I never had to worry about him coming after me or my daughter again.
That remained a major topic of conversation with Bryn—for both my mom and myself. We even had a joint “session” where we both discussed our honest feelings about it, and I could hear how torn my mother was regarding his death. She was a good woman, so it hadn’t come as a surprise that she felt sadness over it, but once we talked it out, I realized where the sorrow came from. She wasn’t upset that he died, but rather hated how he never had to face the repercussions of his actions toward me. Without going into detail of what I’d walked into that night in her kitchen, I assured her that he didn’t leave this earth without punishment.
“I’d love to find someone here, though,” I whispered into the quiet room. “I love Bryn, and she’s been so helpful. Not too many therapists would do what she’s done for us. I don’t want to give her up, but I feel it would be beneficial to have someone local to talk to. My mom loved the equine therapy she was in over there, but I haven’t heard of anything like that here.”
He kissed the top of my head and tightened his arm around me in a brief hug. “I’ll look into that tomorrow. Maybe Bryn knows of someone. And even if it’s not on the island, I’m sure we can make it work. There’s got to be something around here that offers that.”
“Have you given any thought to work?” I could’ve predicted his answer before I even asked the question. It was the same as it had always been—he refused to think about a job until I’d made a decision regarding college.
“Rhett said he had something for me when I was ready, but I told him I’m not looking right now. I don’t need the income at the moment, and I can’t bring myself to leave you quite yet.”
That wasn’t the answer I expected to come out of his mouth.