Doors open at 5 p.m. for families and SOs.
As you choose your costumes, please try to keep in mind everything our Diversity Policy has to say about stereotypes surrounding witches. Most of you who work here don’t need to be told this, but every year it seems we have some children who show up in costumes that are offensive to certain members of our staff. Remember, the following costume elements are expressly forbidden:
Pointy hats
Green skin
Warts on nose
Brooms
Anyone who shows up in a potentially offensive costume will be gently redirected to Conference Room 12 where we will have a range of alternative costume choices to choose from.
With your assistance I’m sure we can all look forward to another enjoyable and memorable Halloween party. Have fun, everyone!
TRANSCRIPT
SELECTED RADIO TRAFFIC
ON DODO SECURITY FREQUENCIES
DAY 1920 (HALLOWEEN, YEAR 5)
NOTES:
All content transcribed from recordings made during the evening of Halloween and auto-saved to DODO archives. In the wake of subsequent events, files were salvaged from a secure server by DODO personnel and transferred to the ad hoc GRIMNIR backup system, from which they were later decrypted and transcribed. Repetitive content such as routine comm checks has been redacted for clarity.
OTHER NOTES:
—“BACKHOE” is Secret Service code name for Lieutenant General Octavian K. Frink.
—“STYLUS” is Dr. Roger Blevins.
—“DOSECOPS C4” is the communications officer on duty in the Diachronic Operations Security Ops (DOSECOPS) Command, Control, and Communications Center, the hub for security operations beneath DODO’s Cambridge, MA, headquarters.
—“DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL” is the ranking officer on duty there (at the time of these recordings, Major Isobel Sloane).
—“DOSECOP 1,” “DOSECOP 2,” etc. denote specific security officers on site.
—“USSS 1,” USSS 2,” etc. denote United States Secret Service officers visiting the site as part of BACKHOE’s personal security detail.
15:00:00 DOSECOPS C4: All units, this is a reminder that the facility is now officially closed for the day and transitioning to off-hours security protocols. We’re expecting a number of delivery vehicles in the next two hours at Docks 1 and 2, these will be bringing party supplies. Normal screening procedures apply for all incoming cargo, drivers, and entertainment personnel. Doors open for civilian guests in two hours.
15:37:12 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: This is C4 Actual. I have just received confirmation that Backhoe is coming to the party. He’ll be coming in from Hanscom, exact arrival time TBD. We will be integrating with his Secret Service detail as needed. Officers on duty at Dock 1 should stand by to close it to all civilian traffic and make it ready to receive Backhoe and his entourage; please acknowledge.
15:37:38 DOSECOP 1: Acknowledged, standing by.
16:05:56 DOSECOPS C4: Two vans are now inbound from MUON Residential Facility carrying a total of nineteen MUONs and three support staff, ETA 16:30. We’ll direct them to Docks 1 and 2. Any officers on patrol in that part of the building should stand by to help check credentials, just to avoid a backup and a lot of annoyed MUONs.
16:23:32 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: This is C4 Actual. I’ve received confirmation from Backhoe’s Secret Service detail that he is on the ground and in a vehicle. ETA is about 17:30 depending on traffic, will update as I have further information.
16:30:00 DOSECOPS C4: All units, this is a reminder that doors will open for civilian ingress in thirty minutes. Officers on internal patrols, now is the time for you to inspect all surfaces for potentially classified documents. All monitors are to be switched off or placed in secure locked mode with Infosec-compliant screen savers.
16:31:45 DOSECOP 1: Dock 1 here. MUON vans have arrived and are backing into the grade-level ramps at Docks 1 and 2.
16:31:55 DOSECOPS C4: Acknowledged. Have officers standing by the side doors of those vans to offer a hand to disembarking MUONs, we have been warned to expect an abundance of high heels, and some of the ladies are new to that kind of footwear. Don’t want to kick off the party with an injury.
16:32:02 DOSECOP 1: Acknowledged. Standing by with stepstools and strong arms.
16:36:38 DOSECOPS C4: Loading dock detail, sitrep please? Looks on the cameras like there’s quite a bottleneck and some hurt feelings.
16:36:54 DOSECOP 1: Roger that, C4. If you’re watching this on the feed you may have noticed that some of the MUONs’ costumes are, uh . . .
16:37:00 DOSECOPS C4: Stop right there before you get into trouble, officer. Yes, the costumes have been receiving close attention from C4 staff and we are aware of their nature. What is the issue?
16:37:10 DOSECOP 1: Some of them didn’t bring their lanyards and badges because of compatibility issues of an aesthetic or stylistic nature with costumes. Procedures dictate . . .
16:37:20 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: Understood. This is Actual. I am authorizing you to waive procedures and treat the MUONs as civilians for now. No need to write up incident reports or any of that. Visual ID is sufficient. The one in the red shimmery um . . . whatever you call it is gonna have to take her mask off whether she likes it or not.
16:37:31 DOSECOP 1: Roger that, Actual. Speaking of visual ID, we have two in violation of the diversity policy regs.
16:37:40 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: Come again?
16:37:46 DOSECOP 1: Pointy hats and brooms, sir.
16:37:50 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: So, two of the MUONs are attired in a manner that is culturally offensive to MUONs?
16:37:57 DOSECOP 1: According to the regs issued yesterday, yes, sir.
16:38:02 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAl: That’s Ms. Stoll’s problem. Let them in without further delay.
16:50:00 DOSECOPS C4: All units, doors open in ten.
16:50:15 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: This is C4 Actual. Just an update before all hell breaks loose. Backhoe is still inbound, ETA has been pushed back to 17:45 because he has decided to swing by Stylus’s residence and pick up Stylus and his wife en route. They will all be arriving together. At that time we’ll be clearing Dock 1 for the vehicle carrying Backhoe and Stylus, as well as Dock 2 for the war wagon with Secret Service detail.
16:51:20 DOSECOP 2: Reporting in from Door 1 where we have now two separate minivan loads of costumed rug rats with moms in a high state of combat readiness. They are taking exception to our holding the line on the 1700 hours opening time. Request permission to let them in early.
16:51:30 DOSECOPS C4: Hold the line. We see the moms and concur with your threat assessment. As diversionary tactic we are sending out a juggler on a unicycle. You might want to open the door for him.
16:51:59 DOSECOP 2: Acknowledged, I have unicyclist on visual.
17:00:00 DOSECOPS C4 ACTUAL: Okay to open doors to civilian guests. Officers on patrol, divert to entrance zones and help with any bottlenecks—all credentials need to be checked, no exceptions.