The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O.

Hope you’re enjoying the cooler weather down in DC, up here fall is on the way and the colors are starting to peak. Great football weather.

Just wanted to drop you a note letting you know progress with our two newest Anachrons.

Gráinne bounced back from the inoculation protocol in fine form and seems to have picked up an additional infusion of energy and high spirits from spending hours each day in the ATTO, where she has access to magic again. As you know we had a challenging battery of experiments lined up for her, all more or less in the realm of psy-ops, and after a rough patch at the beginning when she didn’t quite see the point of it (systematic experimentation not being a natural fit for a witch!), she buckled down to work and has been generating all sorts of interesting results. Yesterday I went into the ATTO while it was up and running and sat in on some of these procedures as an observer. There is the usual “ODEC mind fog” which nearly all modern people complain about to a greater or lesser extent, but I came away immensely impressed with Gráinne’s talents and her dedication to DODO’s mission. In retrospect, it’s a shame we kept her tucked away in Elizabethan England for so many years. She is clearly our most capable MUON, and if I may say as much without stepping over the boundaries of the sexual harassment policy, a real ornament to DODO. She doesn’t have Erszebet’s drop-dead looks but rather a kind of presence that grows on you.

Anyway, that’s probably enough on that topic—the R&D boffins are working up some numbers on the results of our experiments that you should be able to share with all of those senators who are badgering you for the latest news on the Trapezoid’s so-called “mind control” experiments.

Sometimes it’s a shame you’re not up here in Cambridge with us, as you miss the human side of things. Today I introduced one of our other new Anachrons to some of the wonders of the modern world. This is Magnus, whom you’ll remember as the troublesome Varangian Guard who had to be Sent forward. To judge from the alarmist reports that were flying around prior to that decision, you’d imagine him as some kind of dangerous predatory mastermind. Of course, now that he’s here, he turns out to be nothing of the sort. He’s a simple, amiable chap with a wide-eyed appreciation for everything we share with him. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side, but we think he could be a fine trainer in the Violence(s) Ethnology Department.

To whet his appetite a bit, and air him out, I took him up to Andover for the homecoming game, which as you’ll know from the alumni newsletter we won in a fine come-from-behind effort. This was an excellent fit for his overall mentality. He isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he is enthusiastic, and after some initial confusion he understood the basics of the rules—which he likened to shield-wall combat among the Vikings. He cheered lustily for our side all the way through the game and seemed genuinely moved by the last-minute heroics. I’m able to converse with him in a mixture of Byzantine Greek, Old French, and modern English (knowing lots of half-dead obscure languages continues to have its plusses, even if it doesn’t put me in your pay grade).

This is all somewhat calculated, I’ll admit: since arriving in our age, Magnus hasn’t seen modern people engaged in any sort of rough-and-tumble, and I wanted to impress upon him that we as a people have not gone entirely soft. Message delivered; after the game we went down to the field and chatted with some of the players (I am introducing him as a recently arrived exchange student from Dagestan), and afterwards in the car he made appreciative comments about their size and strength and grit.

Having got that message across, I then proceeded to take him to Walmart en route home.

Imagine a man from the thirteenth century suddenly plucked into the twenty-first . . . and introduced to Walmart of all places!

Beyond the total astonishment of modern life in general, the cornucopia of goods clearly left him gobsmacked, as the Brits say. He has had a childish fixation on lidocaine ever since the dermatologist used it on him, and was delighted to find that there was an entire section of the store stocked not only with that but many other magical potions as well. I showed him a cordless drill—and then the expressions on his face! He almost tired me out with his naive enthusiasm—we covered the entire store. Not just the obvious things like furniture and clothes, but sports equipment, dinnerware . . . He was delighted with things we take for granted—insect repellent! He loved the insect repellent! As well as canned goods; chili mix; hairspray. A refreshing reminder of how amazing the world we live in really is.

If you ever want to be reminded how extraordinary modern life is, if you ever need to slap yourself out of the complacency of taking electricity or Teflon for granted . . . come take an Anachron out on an orientation tour.

Love to Bess and the family. Get your butt up here some time soon for a round of golf. Don’t worry about the bugs—we have insect repellent!

Cheers,

Blev




Post by Macy Stoll on

“Announcements” ODIN channel

DAY 1920 (31 OCTOBER, YEAR 5)

To all employees and contractors:

This is just a final reminder that we are closing early this afternoon at 3 p.m. to make preparations for the annual Halloween party. For those of you who’ve joined DODO in the past year—and I know there are many of you—this is traditionally our biggest social event of the year, comparable to what the Christmas party would be in a less culturally and spatiotemporally diverse organization. In accordance with our usual protocols, we need to make special preparations to welcome your family members and SOs without inadvertently leaking classified information. Thanks to all who have volunteered to help out with that work—by now you should know your assignments.

On a practical level, this means that all access to the basement bio-containment/ODEC complex will be sealed off at 3 p.m. sharp, and a rotating security detail assigned there (we want to make sure DOSECOPS gets to enjoy the festivities too!). The main site for the party will be the cafeteria. Please be sure you have removed all documents of a potentially sensitive nature from that area. We’ll also be allowing visitors to tour the Chronotron on a half-hourly basis, and so IT personnel need to make sure that all documents are stowed away in locked drawers—this includes Post-it notes on monitors and desktops, etc.

Halloween decorations will go up in the cafeteria starting at 4 p.m. and we’ll have the usual trick-or-treat facilities for the little ones.

Also at 4 p.m. we’ll have a briefing in the big conference room for Anachrons who are unfamiliar with our traditions around Halloween and may need some guidance as to what is and is not appropriate behavior—I know this has been a concern in the past, based on some of the anecdotes and incident reports that have been shared with me. Remember, our medical staff would like to enjoy the evening too—let’s not make them work!