His hands pressed me closer to him, while he walked me and leaned my back against the car. He held me there, trapped against the cold, dew-covered door and his hard, muscled body. His thigh slid between mine, not aggressively, just enough to tease me into wanting more.
I wanted him closer, harder. I wanted to strip his clothes off him and throw myself on top of him. This tension had been building and building between us. I didn’t know if it was my emotional breakdown that had finally pushed us together or if we would have always ended up here, unable to resist the pull between us.
I’d tried to ignore it. Ignore him. But he’d never let me ignore the fire between us. He’d never let me get away with pretending we didn’t want this.
And God, did I want this.
His mouth left mine to drag slow, sensual kisses over my jaw, to the tender spot just below my ear, down the column of my throat, where he spent a delicious amount of time at the hollow between my collarbones.
When he finally brought his mouth back to mine, we were nothing but lips and tongue and desire. His teeth bumped into mine as we learned the contours of each other, as we familiarized ourselves with each other’s body and mouth and need.
It was everything a first kiss should be—irresistible, voracious and too short. Way, way too short.
He finally pulled back, and I slumped against him, breathing heavily and tingling with desire. My lips were swollen in a way they hadn’t been in a very long time, and my stomach jumped with nerves and need and a thousand lust-filled butterflies.
He panted just as heavily as me, his arms still wrapped around my waist, supporting me so I didn’t tumble over. His voice rumbled against the top of my head when he finally spoke. “You’ve wanted to do that for so long. I’m surprised you held off for as long as you did.”
I smiled, surprisingly comfortable with his familiar arrogance. I didn’t even bother standing up. I just smiled into his chest, inhaling him again and again. “I thought you’d be a better kisser, though. I’m trying not to be disappointed.”
His chuckle vibrated his chest, and I closed my eyes at the sensation. God, I loved to make him laugh. “Since you won’t be able to keep your hands off me now, I guess we’re just going to have to keep practicing.”
I finally stood up, hoping he meant right now. “I guess so.”
He looked down at me, his dark eyes heating. “Not tonight, Vera. I need to get you home.” I must have looked disappointed because he laughed again. “There will be more. I promise you that. But not after you’ve had to face your darkest demon. Not when Derrek is still infecting the air. Not after I’ve just decided on first-degree murder.”
My blood turned to ice. It was that simple. Derrek still had the power to ruin every one of my moods, no matter how blissful or flawless. “Don’t go to jail for him,” I pleaded. “That wouldn’t be fair at all.”
Killian didn’t seem convinced. “Let’s get you home. I don’t want to talk about him anymore tonight.”
I tried to do the decent thing one more time. “You really don’t have to drive me. I know it’s inconvenient for you.”
“Get in the car, Vera,” he ordered, turning me toward the passenger side. “There’s a goodnight kiss in it for you if you play nice.”
I was ashamed to admit that got me moving. “You should know I live with my dad.”
“He won’t mind,” he countered confidently. “He likes me.”
“You’re so cocky.”
He flashed me a grin across the top of the car. “And you love it.”
I rolled my eyes but didn’t verbally respond. He was right. I did love it.
“Fine, you can take me home,” I allowed. “But you better not be stingy with this goodnight kiss.”
He smiled. Drove me home. And fulfilled his promise.
Very generously.
Chapter Nineteen
I smiled before I even opened my eyes the next morning. Yesterday had been traumatic on so many levels. I still had to deal with Derrek in a very real way. I had to make sure he knew he could never come back to my truck or my city or bother me ever again.
Until then, I chose to let Killian be the dominating headline of the morning. I lay there in the twin bed from my childhood and curled my toes into rumpled sheets.
It didn’t seem possible. This man that had gone from idol to enemy, to reluctant friend, to fantastic kisser.
And not only had he kissed me beyond all reason and rational thought, but he’d given me back whole chunks of myself that had been missing. He’d said words I’d been too afraid to think and truths that had felt so wholly out of reach, I never believed they could be true for me. I’d purged some of my hurt and loathing.
Maybe not all of it, but some. It was like the first few shaky breaths after nearly drowning. They burned and clawed at my throat, they were painful and raw, but they were made of life-saving oxygen none the less.
I didn’t know what to think about that or how to move on. Derrek was a darker cloud than ever, and yet Killian had inspired hope in a way that also healed where I had been only broken, that also breathed life where death had rotted and destroyed. He’d held out the person I used to be and offered it like a gift he had the right to give.
But the strangest part was that I didn’t mind. I didn’t even want to fight him for it. He had done something I hadn’t been able to do myself, and I would always be grateful for that.
He even made me want to consider something more… something that wasn’t just about me or my healing or my needs. He made me consider him.
He made me consider us.
The smell of coffee dragged me out of bed. I slid my feet into slouchy slipper boots and grabbed my robe for my dad’s sake. I stopped by the bathroom to wash my face and throw my hair in a fresh messy bun, but other than that I looked like I did every morning-terrifying.
Shuffling to the kitchen, I found my dad at the table. He had a fresh cup of coffee in his one hand and a piece of toast and jelly in the other. It was earlier than I usually made an appearance, but then again, last night had been an earlier night for me.
Comparatively. It was after midnight before Killian had stopped kissing me.
“You’re up early,” Dad noted as he took a long drink of his super-hot coffee. I could have sworn he didn’t have taste buds. For as long as I could remember, food temperature didn’t bother him. It was unnerving how he just dove right into the hottest foods and drinks. Even now I resisted the urge to shout a warning to him. It wouldn’t have done any good anyway.
“I closed up a little early last night,” I answered honestly.
Dad set his newspaper down and gave me his full attention. “Did you run out of food?”
The story came out in a torrent of information. “Derrek showed up unexpectedly after Vann left for his date. I felt uncomfortable staying there by myself.” For all my newfound courage, my explanation still trembled.
Dad’s expression hardened. “Why would he do that? Why didn’t he call first?”
“He doesn’t have my number. And I wouldn’t have answered anyway.”