Jim yawned. Ella put her phone away, but looked unenthused. Everyone else shuffled uncomfortably. Zoe stood on tiptoe, trying to get a look at the laptop. She scanned the notes that had already been taken. When no one else offered anything else, she took a deep breath.
“We could close by appealing to the teachers,” she said in a small voice. “Focus on how they must feel, being the ‘Mr.’ and ‘Mrs.’ all the time. I mean … surely they’d prefer to be humanized by being called by their first name?”
A few people turned to see who was talking. Zoe tried to shrink down, make herself smaller.
“Good idea,” Eric said. “The other team won’t think of getting the teachers on their side. And Mrs. Patterson is choosing the winner. We want to get her on our side.”
Zoe felt so pleased she forgot not to look at Harry. He was already looking at her, smiling a little. Any breath she had left was suddenly gone.
“Anything else, Zoe?”
She jumped at her name. Her hands were shaking so much she had to clasp them together. “Um … well, we can talk about how teachers are people,” she suggested. “You know … their parents took the time to give them a name and stuff. So we should use it.”
“Wait,” Jim exclaimed. “Teachers are people?”
A few people laughed but Eric rolled his eyes and kept typing furiously. Zoe could feel the heat in her face, the sweat beading on her forehead. But it occurred to her that, in this instance, it might just be worth it.
When Eric finished typing he turned to Zoe, his palm in the air. It took Zoe a moment to realize he was looking for a high five. She obliged, seconds after she should have, feeling ridiculous.
Afterward, out in the hallway, Harry fell into step beside her. Zoe tried to speed up, but there was no getting away from him. Finally she focused on walking in a straight line, which as it turned out, did require her concentration.
“So where’ve you been these last few days?” he asked, halfway down the corridor.
“Why?” Zoe said. “Were you looking for me?”
She didn’t mean it to be cute or sassy (when had she ever been either?) but, by some miracle, it came out that way. Harry responded with a satisfying burst of laughter. Then he flicked her a sideways glance. “I was looking for you,” he said. “Just so you know.”
Zoe’s heart was racing even before the double doors swung open, and giant bodies filled the room. The football team. They seemed to fill the entire corridor, many of them high-fiving Harry as they went. Zoe shrank down and moved as far as she could toward one wall. In an instant she wanted to be invisible again.
“Hey, Harry.”
“Missing you out there, man.”
“How’s the knee?”
“Not bad,” Harry replied. “Good practice?”
There were a few more high fives and then the guys disappeared into the locker room, leaving nothing but a faint scent of body odor behind. Harry, she noticed, looked a little wistful.
And then, they were alone again.
“So … what happened to your knee?” Zoe asked shyly.
“Can you keep a secret?” he asked her.
Zoe nodded dumbly.
“Nothing.”
Zoe blinked. “What the heck does that mean?”
They’d reached the door now, and Harry pushed it open and stood with his back to it. As Zoe slipped past him, he grinned. “Why don’t you try to figure that out while I walk you home.”
“Sure,” Zoe heard herself say, to her utter surprise. And as they headed down the steps together, side by side, Zoe felt almost like a normal teenager.
37
Preparing to have chemotherapy, as it turned out, was like preparing for a wedding (or what Alice had heard about it), jam-packed with appointments. Except instead of having spa appointments for spray tans and leg waxes, Alice had medical appointments. A few days ago, she’d had her PICC line put in—a tube that would remain in her arm for the next few months, making it easy for them to attach the IV during chemo. She’d visited her dentist to check her teeth for signs of infection. She’d undergone blood tests. Everything looked good. So today, three weeks after her surgery, was the day.
When she heard a knock on the door, she looked at her watch. Sonja was early. She was driving Alice to chemo today. Alice was less than enthusiastic about the idea, but she didn’t have a lot of other options.
She dropped her feet onto the ground leisurely. Let Sonja wait. But before she was even out of her chair, there was another knock, and then a voice called out, “Alice? Are you there?”
Alice suspected she was hearing things—a side effect of the cancer perhaps. Still, she called out uncertainly, “Paul?”
“Yeah, it’s me.”
She opened the door and stared at him.
“I’m sober,” he said. “I can’t promise about tomorrow, but today I’m here to help, for as long as you need me.”
Alice looked at his clean clothes, his wet hair. He looked almost like a … caring family member. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here earlier. But I’m here now.”
Tears built treacherously in Alice’s eyes. “So you are.”
“Well,” Paul said. “What can I do?”
Alice thought for a moment. “Do you … still have a driver’s license?”
“Miraculously, I do.”
It was, indeed, a miracle. Alice smiled at the thought of calling Sonja to tell her that she would not be required to drive her to chemo. Then she grabbed her keys off the hook in the kitchen and tossed them at Paul. They fell to the floor with a clatter. Alice prayed it wasn’t an omen.
“Pick those up,” she said, grabbing her purse. “You’re taking me to chemo.”
*
Paul double-parked in front of the outpatients’ area. As Alice was getting out, she noticed Kate out in front of the building in her uniform and sneakers.
“Good morning,” she said.
Alice stared at her. “Do you meet everyone outside?”
“No,” she admitted. “But on the first day of chemo, I try.”
Alice felt irrationally annoyed that Kate was giving her no reason to hate her.
Kate looked over at Paul, still behind the wheel, with a painful look of optimism. “Is this—”
“My brother,” Alice said. “Paul. He’s going to park the car and meet us up there.” She nodded at Paul and he drove away. She wondered if she’d see him again today. Doubtful, she decided.
“Okay,” Kate said. “Let’s go.”
They entered the hospital side by side. On the way, Kate’s phone rang but she immediately silenced it. It was as though Alice were the only person in the world. No wonder Zoe liked her so much.