We run.
We pass through the open door into the cool night air. The sky is navy and the air feels charged. We reach our car. Natalie climbs in first, then, gently, I lay Juliet down on the backseat so that her head rests on Natalie’s lap. Dyl gets into the driver’s seat. Once I’m sure Juliet is safe, I climb in and sit on the passenger seat.
As I buckle my seat belt Dyl turns to me. “Caden, do you want to go for a drive?”
I picture him back on the roof, sitting beside me, looking into my eyes, asking me the same question. Back then, the prospect of driving with him was exciting. A tiny taste of freedom, of rebellion. I look through the windshield and the world is so large and so vast. I can go anywhere. Now we’re really driving, now we’re actually free.
It’s not exciting.
It’s exhilarating.
“Don’t make this a big thing, Dyl. Just drive.”
He plants his foot on the accelerator and the world blurs away.
EPILOGUE
ONE YEAR LATER
I roll over, tilting my head to focus on the soft sunlight that’s streaming in through my bedroom window. I can see my garden. It’s small, and admittedly not much to look at, but it’s really important to me. The simple and repetitive task of maintaining it clears my head when things get bad, which used to be quite often. Those episodes feel distant now, though. How long’s it been since I last had to use it? I don’t know exactly, but my garden is practically all weeds now. I take that as a good sign, and I smile.
I could spend my day trying to fix it, because I’m not going to my lectures, and I gave a bullshit excuse to get out of my library shift tonight. This year’s excuse was the funeral of my grandma, which is officially the last time I can use that one. But that’s a problem for future Caden, not me.
I look over my shoulder. Dyl is on his back, shirtless, his arm stretching out beneath my pillow. He’s got the day off too; he got out of his internship at the hospital. He’s wearing black boxers, I know he is, but his lower half is covered by a white sheet, so it’s easy to imagine him completely naked. If I wanted to, that is.
His chest rises, filling with air, then falls. His biceps are slimmer than before and his stomach is soft, extending out from his pecs a little bit. Like I did, he lost his abs pretty quickly after we freed everyone from the LIC. It doesn’t matter; he’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I think about the moment on the plane, when I saw him looking so different, and how him not being him hurt me.
Now I wouldn’t change anything about him. I lean forward and place a soft kiss on his damp forehead, my lips pressing down the dark strands of soft hair. Then I spin around and grab the jeans that lie in a pile on the floor beside the bed. I shuffle my butt forward and pull them over my calves. The bed rustles. Lips press gently against the middle of my bare back, along with the bristle of Dyl’s early-morning stubble. It tickles, so I grin.
He kisses me again, this time at the base of my neck. The soft, slightly wet touches move along my shoulder.
“Are you aware of the time?” he asks quietly. He nibbles my shoulder.
“Acutely.”
“Then you’re lucky you’re cute.”
I stand up and jump into my jeans. Once the belt is buckled, I spin around.
He’s rubbing his eyes. “I can’t believe it’s been a year. One freaking incredible year. Come back to bed, Caden. I want you…” He taps his chest. “Right here.”
I fight the urge to lie down beside him and rest my head on his chest. He’d be warm and he’d stroke my hair and … Focus, man! I’ve been thinking about this morning for weeks and I don’t want to ruin it now. “Actually, I was thinking we could watch the sunrise? If you do I promise we can do whatever you’d like for the rest of the day.”
He laughs. “Whatever I’d like? Wow, someone’s feeling brave this morning! What if I told you I want to spend all morning listing all the reasons Nicki is actually the worst rapper ever?”
I pick up a pillow and hit him over the head with it. “Take that back!”
“Never!”
I pull back the pillow to hit him again, but then he grabs my wrist and pulls me, laughing, onto the bed. I’m on top of him now, looking down at him, and he’s so frigging cute I just have to kiss him once.
Okay, maybe twice.
After the third kiss I roll sideways so that I’m lying next to him. “I wasn’t joking, Dyl. I really want to watch the sunrise. You in?”
He nods. “Of course.”
I get up as he pulls on a pair of black jeans.
“Hey,” he says. “Speaking of plans, I was thinking we should invite Nat and Jules over tonight. We could make a nice meal, see what they’re up to.” He bounces out of bed. “Sound good?”
I take a red shirt from the drawer beside the bed. From the same drawer I retrieve a black one and toss it to him. He catches it with one hand and puts it on, then he makes his way over to me.
“That sounds great,” I say. “Is Jules still with that singer? You know, the one with the dreadlocks?”
He shakes his head. “Nope, she’s with a marine biologist now. As soon as she said it I thought for sure he was a Love Interest, but then I remembered how badass we are.”
Together, we walk out of the bedroom and through the kitchen. It’s simple, with wooden counters and an old-fashioned gas stove, but I love it. The white oven dish Dyl used last night to make lasagna is still on the counter, between a stack of library books and a wooden bowl filled with fruit. I open the glass door and step out onto our porch. The sky is clear, and shiny drops of dew have collected on the wooden railing.
The view is of the hills that surround our property. I reach the balustrade and place both hands on the cold, wet wood. He mimics me.
Two small trees are growing beside the house, just in front of a gray concrete water tank. One for Trevor, one for all the others. Trev’s is a red maple. The other is an elm.
Dyl sniffs and rubs his nose. I’ll never leave him, and I think he knows this. The cost for us to be together was just too high for me to ever give up on us. But that’s a problem for another, darker day; right now he makes me happier than I’ve ever been.
I look up. The sky is really freaking blue today. It’s cloudless and immense.
“Hey,” says Dyl. He isn’t looking at the sky. He’s looking at me, smiling that Bad boy smirk of his. “I love you.”
I smile so big it’s probably lopsided.
I don’t even care.