“It’s risky,” says Dyl. “I don’t like it. Maybe we should keep thinking—”
“We don’t have time!” I say. “Sitting here now is risky, because at any moment a Stalker could find us and rip us apart. At least this way we have a shot, even if it’s a bad one. If you can think of something better, we’ll do that. But if you can’t, this is happening. All right?”
He sighs. “Fine.”
“It’s settled,” says Juliet. “We leave in half an hour.”
*
Ten minutes later, I’m standing on the stony shore of a small creek. I pull my shirt off, then drop my trousers and wade into the water. My whole body goes tense. It’s fucking freezing. Still, I have to get rid of the lethargy that’s gripping me in order to survive the rapidly approaching battle. I can do this. Three. Two. One.
I lower myself into the creek. The so-cold-it-hurts water just reaches my chest. Still, there’s a satisfying clarity to the pain. This hurt, at least, is easy to understand. I lower myself until I’m fully horizontal. The water surrounds my face. Through a gap in the trees, I can see the gray sky.
“Hello?” calls a voice.
I sit up and press my knees to my chest as Juliet walks into the clearing. Her hair is loose and knotty, and a pink towel is wrapped around her waist. Her legs are bare.
She stops when she sees me. “Oh, Caden, I didn’t know you were here.” She smiles. “I was just going to wash my face. And you’re in the water? Why?”
I fan my fingers through my damp hair. “It seemed like a good idea. Now that I’m doing it, I know it is in fact the worst idea I’ve ever had.”
She laughs, making her way over to a smooth rock on the shore. She sits down on it so her feet touch the water. “Can I ask you something? I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I don’t think I’ll be able to focus until I know for sure.”
“You can ask me anything, Juliet.”
“Do you love Dyl?”
My cheeks go red and I look down at the water. It’s crystal clear. “I don’t know what love is.”
“Come on, I already know it’s true. You can barely keep your eyes off him. You love him, don’t you?”
I can’t keep lying to her. Not after everything she’s done for me.
“I think I do,” I say. “It doesn’t matter, though. He tricked me into developing feelings for him as part of the contest. He wanted me to fall for him so I’d back away from you. The scary thing is that it was working. I was already doubting whether I could do anything that would kill him. If you hadn’t made your choice when you did, I would’ve lost and you’d be with Dyl.”
“That’s part of the reason I’m helping you,” says Juliet. “As much as it sucks to be a Love Interest and everything, being tricked into falling in love with someone is pretty awful too. So I’m doing this for all the people out there who deserve to be in love with someone who genuinely loves them back. No one deserves to be lied to for their entire lives.”
My chest starts to ache. “All I can say is I’m sorry. I’ll never be able to fix it all.”
“Thanks for the apology, Caden, really. Anyway, isn’t it pretty normal for a straight girl to fall for a gay guy? All the sitcoms treat it like a rite of passage, something that all girls must go through. You’re pretty and kind and way too good to be true. At least I’ve ticked that box now.”
“I …” I don’t exist to teach her a lesson, and it irks me that she thinks labeling me is okay now. Like, by liking guys, I automatically take on that role in her life. That I’m suddenly a supporting character in her story rather than the hero of my own.
She leans forward. “But Caden, you need to know something. Your feelings do matter, because Dyl likes you back. Everyone can see it.”
I shake my head. “He doesn’t. It was all fake.”
She laughs. “God, guys can be so thick sometimes. That boy is in love with you, Caden. It’s obvious to everyone but the two of you. He—”
“He said he likes girls, Juliet. He straight up told me he isn’t gay and that he likes girls.”
She narrows her eyes. “Caden, stop and think about it for a second. There are three very plausible explanations for him saying that. Maybe he’s lying; he’s done it before, so he could be doing it again. Or, you know, he might be bi. He totally could like girls and you, so don’t dismiss that as a possibility. He might also be in denial. The world is getting a lot kinder, but coming out is still a big thing, and the process is different for everyone. Maybe he’s just not ready to admit how he feels yet.”
I sink lower into the water. Everything she’s saying is too nice to be true. If Dyl liked me, why wouldn’t he just tell me?
I scratch the back of my neck. “It feels weird to be talking about this.”
“Good, that means it’s weird for both of us. But, Caden, I want you to know, in case you’re as blinded by love as I used to be, to the point where you can’t see the obvious: he likes you.”
“How can you tell?”
“You know how I said you can’t keep your eyes off him? Well, as soon as you look away from him, the first thing he does is look at you. It only lasts a second, but I’m a scientist. I notice minute changes. It’s what I do.” She slides off the rock and brushes her hands clean. “Well, I need to get ready, so I’m going to find my own spot. Big day tomorrow, huh?”
“The biggest.”
“See you later, Caden. Think about what I said.”
Like I could ever think about anything else.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-THREE
“Eat up, Caden,” says Dyl. “You need to be strong.” Everyone is still asleep, or at least pretending to be, so it’s just us, sitting in front of a dying campfire. The sun hovers above the horizon.
We’re two hours’ drive away from the LIC, which means that, as soon as the sun starts to set, we’re going to start the final leg of this journey. First, we’re going to drive until we’re within walking distance of the LIC, then I’m going to walk to the doors and scream until they capture me.
Dyl is offering a can of tuna. I grab it and crack open the lid, then scoop up a large chunk and put it in my mouth. The fish tastes too salty but feels weightier than the other food I’ve eaten recently, and it settles nicely in my gut, restoring a precious amount of energy. I take another mouthful, then pass the can back to him.
He shakes his head. “No way, man. You’ll be in the most danger, so you’re the one who needs to be strong.”
“You’ll be in danger too—”
“Stop being stubborn, Caden, and eat the damn fish.”
I pout but scoop up the last few flakes anyway. I swallow then look up at the sky. “How long until the sun goes down? It feels like it’s taking forever.”