Natalie and I walk onto the wooden deck. A DJ with blond-and-green dreadlocks has set herself up in the corner. Loud electronic music is pumping from the large black speakers beneath her table. A group of guys is standing beside her, trying to get her attention.
The deck declines into a small stretch of sandstone before it drops off into an infinity pool. Two guys and two girls are already swimming. The girls are wearing frilly bras and underwear. They’re sitting on the shoulders of the guys, laughing like this is the best moment of their entire lives. The guys move toward each other, and then the girls grab each other and start wrestling.
“Looks fun,” I say, pointing toward them.
Natalie scowls. “Why don’t you join them?”
I sip my drink. “I didn’t bring my trunks.”
“What’s that about trunks? Are you talking about how good I look in mine?”
A hand slaps down on my shoulder. I turn and see Trevor. His cheeks are covered in a couple of days’ worth of stubble, and his eyes are bloodshot. Somehow, his massive chest looks smaller, like he’s deflated.
“Hey, man,” I say. Natalie crosses her arms. “I’ll leave you be.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she says, but I ignore her and walk toward the pool. I sit down on the edge and stare at the skyline. I pull my shoes and socks off and dip my bare feet into the water.
Behind me, clusters of people dance under the lights. In the pool, a girl in a red bra swims up to her friend, and they sit on the step. I stare at their practically naked bodies. Do they turn you on? They’re everything a man should be attracted to in a woman.
I turn away from them. The boys are now on their own. The tall, lanky one with red hair grabs the other and shoves him under the water. They sink under, then both kick up, spluttering for air. The redhead laughs, then leaps at the other boy, tackling him down. He’s not muscular, and his skin is pale, yet I find I can’t look away from him.
I recall the attraction I felt toward other guys at the LIC. Toby excluded, I never felt anything particularly strong for anyone. But in general, I felt it every time a cute guy would smile at me, or when I was fortunate enough to be around someone shirtless. So I felt it, sure, but I didn’t understand it, and I figured it’d stop when I met my Chosen. We’d meet, and the weird feelings I had would go away. Then we’d get married and have babies and I’d do all the stuff I’m supposed to do. I guess I thought I was straight just because everyone treated me like I was, and no one ever gave me a chance to think otherwise.
Speaking of guys I’m attracted to, Dyl appears in the living room. A second later, Juliet steps down off the staircase and faces him. He touches her hand, which makes my heart race, and then they separate. The sight fills me with a weird, deflated feeling. Like, I’m so glad she shook him off, but I’m also a bit crushed that he’s trying so hard and failing. Can’t she see what I see in him?
Juliet heads toward the bathroom, and Dyl just stands there, his posture floppier than usual. He takes in a breath, which perks him up a bit, and then turns around and walks up the stairs, presumably back to his bedroom.
I put my shoes and socks back on and stand up. Dyl, my Dyl, is currently upstairs, alone. If this truly is the end, I need to see him one last time. There aren’t many things in life that I truly need, but spending time with the real him one last time is definitely one of them. Doing this probably isn’t the best idea, but Juliet’s in the bathroom, so I have a bit of time. As long as I move fast, it’ll be fine. It’s reckless, sure, but if I’m careful it won’t ruin my chances with her.
With that in mind, I walk back through the party. When I reach the staircase, I do a quick check to make sure no one is watching, then I duck under the little black chain that’s blocking the entrance. Once I’m through, I check again and realize that no one has noticed I’ve committed a party foul. They’re all too obsessed with themselves. Grinning, I jog up the stairs.
At the top of the stairs it’s still and so quiet. The staircase leads into a big open area with two white leather lounge chairs in front of a fireplace. A foosball table is in the corner. At the far end of the room is a single door. It’s ajar, the light is on, and faint punk music is playing. My shoes click against the polished timber as I cross the room. When I reach it I knock once, which makes the door swing inward slightly.
“Juliet?” he calls.
“Try again,” I say.
“Caden? What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“Oh. Um, okay. Give me a sec, I’m getting dressed.”
I tuck my hands into my pockets. There’s no questioning it, this is weird. It’s a big, important night, the biggest ever, really, and I should be with Juliet. Instead, I’m here, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m actually surprised Kaylee hasn’t told me to stop. Usually things that make me happy piss her off.
I’m still here, Caden. Just so you know.
Oh. You know what I’m going to do, right? Does your silence mean it’s okay with you?
She sighs. I still think you’re being a massive idiot, but I can’t stop you, so I’m going to make you a deal. I’ll let you do this, but this has to be your last hurrah with him. Do you hear me? This is the end of the two of you. Even if the contest doesn’t end tonight, this is it. No more drives, no more anything. You’ve done everything I’ve asked, so I’m going to give you some time to end it, but as soon as you go back downstairs it’s over, all right?
Agreed.
Great. Now, I’m going to give you two a bit of privacy. You have ten minutes, Caden. Do what you have to do, and then I want you downstairs with Juliet.
You’re the best, Kaylee. Truly.
I know, Caden. Don’t make me regret it.
The door swings open, revealing Dyl. He’s now wearing white pants and a white shirt. The shirt is unbuttoned, showing his chest. He narrows his eyes, and it takes every bit of self-control within me to keep my feet planted. All my brain wants me to do is charge forward, grab him by his shirt, and kiss him. He’d stumble back until his legs hit the bed and we’d fall down together and …
His perfect eyebrows furrow and he starts buttoning up his shirt, silencing my urge to kiss him. “What are you doing here, Caden?”
For some reason, he’s mad, and trying to kiss him now might result in him breaking my nose. I’ve decided to trust him, but that doesn’t mean he’s suddenly incapable of hurting me.
“Juliet is looking for you,” he says. “You shouldn’t be here. You should be with her.”
“I told you, I wanted to see you.”
The crease between his eyebrows gets deeper. Wait, his expression isn’t anger; his eyes are too soft for that. What he’s feeling is concern. For some reason, he’s worried about me.
“Dyl, I know what I’m doing. She’s in the bathroom, so we’ve got a bit of time. We don’t have much, but it’s better than nothing. Do you want me to go?”
He looks past me, checking the foyer.