When she arrived, she found that Kai had cleared his possessions out of their shared lodgings. He’d left the furniture, but his wardrobe was empty. And his bed had been stripped, with the blankets left in a neatly folded pile on the end of the bare mattress.
It did nothing to raise Irene’s mood. The lodgings barely felt inhabited any more, and her own books didn’t fill the empty space. It had been stupid to expect . . . What had she been expecting, anyhow? A letter? A last chance to say goodbye?
Misery weighed her down like lead. She wasn’t used to missing people like this. Routine kept her moving, but a part of her just wanted to sit down and cry.
She bit her lip. This was stupid. They were both adults and they’d both – eventually – done the right thing. It couldn’t have lasted. Common sense told her to pull herself together and get on with her life.
Common sense, Irene decided, was absolutely bloody useless.
She shut the door on her empty lodgings and caught the next cab to where Vale lived. Part of her hoped that he’d be out. It would mean she could put off telling him about Kai for a little longer. Kai was his friend as well. Vale might even blame her for Kai having to leave, and justifiably so.
The lights were on in the upstairs windows as Irene paid off the cab driver and let herself in. She knocked on the door to Vale’s rooms, waited for his call to enter, then pushed the door open.
Kai was standing there.
It was as if nothing had changed. He stood there looking at her, and his eyes gleamed as he watched the expression on her face, as she tried to process what she was seeing. Of course there’s no reason why he can’t visit Vale, the thoughts cartwheeled through her head. There’s nothing to stop the two of them spending time together . . .
None of it mattered. Irene stepped forward and grabbed hold of him, unwilling to let him go. She was conscious of Kai’s body against hers, his arms around her as she clung to him, his controlled strength, the warmth of his cheek against hers . . . Everything seemed to come together in an impulse that made her slide her hand round the back of his neck and pull him down into a desperate kiss.
He didn’t try to stop her. Quite the opposite.
Eventually she managed to release him. Her hands didn’t want to let go of him. Her chest ached as if she’d just been shot again.
Kai took a breath. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘You did once tell me that if you took me to bed, I wouldn’t be complaining. So far I have no complaints.’
‘This is a really stupid idea,’ Irene said, getting the words out with difficulty, trying to work out exactly how her brain had jumped from We can’t possibly do this to How do we do this without getting caught. ‘For both of us. But . . .’ And there her speech trailed off, before she could construct a viable argument about how they should never see each other again.
Kai raised an eyebrow. ‘I happen to be visiting my friend here. He’s being kind enough to let me stay with him. Isn’t that correct, Vale?’
Irene belatedly realized that Vale was sitting at the table. He was poised in front of a confusion of scientific glassware, his eye fixed to a microscope eyepiece. ‘Yes, whatever,’ he muttered, not looking up. ‘By all means drag me into your political misconduct, Strongrock. I have a spare bedroom, and you’re welcome to it.’
‘There you have it,’ Kai said fondly. ‘And you know something, Irene?’
‘Yes?’ she said, trying to come to terms with everything.
‘I’m not your subordinate any longer.’ He gave her a thoughtful smile. ‘Just mentioning it, you understand. For future reference.’
‘I’ll bear it in mind,’ Irene said. Her lips burned with the memory of his kiss. ‘Though even if you’re not my subordinate, you’re not my superior, either.’
Kai nodded as if he was following her train of thought. ‘No,’ he agreed. ‘But if you’ve taught me anything, you’ve taught me never to give up.’
‘That wasn’t what I meant to teach you,’ Irene said. ‘Or what I was supposed to teach you, either. But it’ll do for a start.’
She gave up on coming to terms with anything. It could wait at least a few hours. There might be urgent messages waiting for her back at the Library, but potential apocalypses could wait for a day or two. Or even three. This secret could stay between them – for now. And until someone actually came to order Kai home, he had every right to impose on Vale’s hospitality.
There might be time to say goodbye properly. There might even be time for more than that.