What a strange name, I told myself. It didn’t even sound normal — more like an alias. That gave me cause for thought. Ordinary girls might have steered a wide course around him, as handsome and mysterious as he was. There were too many things that didn’t make sense and too much that was borderline hostile about him. For me, though, I could see through the exterior and knew he needed a loving woman to trust and need him.
Perhaps one day he would tell me his story, but until then, I would be content with what was available. I learned when I was a child that it wasn’t important whether people told you they could be trusted. I already sensed it and just needed to trust my instincts. They’d never steered me wrong.
I knew I was ready to have my own life. I had taken care of Mom and had looked after Dad after she was gone. I’d gotten my education and given my share to the community. It was time for me. Time for finding a good man and starting a family. There had been a special kind of loneliness when my mother passed. She had been an empath too and understood how I thought and felt. She never made me feel like an outsider.
The few people in my life who knew about my gift handled it in different ways. Some heaped sarcastic skepticism on my shoulders and others steered clear entirely. I felt like a freak in a carnival. A few understood and accepted me completely. It could be a cumbersome gift. Often, I felt negative energies from others that indicated undiscovered ill health or deep sadness. What I felt could permeate my energy as well. For that reason, I tended to be a loner.
It was different with Hawk. I felt his darkness, but it was an energy that attracted me to him. He was like a window splattered opaque with mud. I felt the urge to wash away the dirt and let sunlight illuminate the person inside. It was more than a feeling, actually. I felt compelled to do so. I was drawn to him. He was as familiar to me as a lover who reoccurred in my warm and trusted erotic dreams. We had already been connected by an unseen force that was as natural as breathing.
I knew he felt it. He probably didn’t understand it. He may have even thought it nothing more than an animal need for companionship, perhaps breeding. His energy changed as he came close to me and I knew it felt good for him.
There was an aspect of my abilities that I’d had little experience with so far, but I sensed it was maturing quickly. I’d first felt it with my mother. It had been a winter night, the kind so bitter as to have no redeeming factors save the prospect of spring. A spring she wouldn’t see. She had been in great pain, beyond what the narcotics could cloud. Although her eyes and lips were firmly sealed against complaining, I sensed her pain and felt helpless. I knew she needed something pleasurable to focus upon.
Since we were both sensitives, we were linked in consciousness. I summoned up the picture of a hot air balloon landing in a springtime pasture, its colors vibrant against the blue of the sky. I mentally pushed the picture toward her, as one would wrap someone in a blanket. I knew when she received it. Her eyes remained closed with the vision, but her lips curled up at the corners, and she nodded her awareness. I patted her hand and kissed her cheek. For that moment, we were as one mind, and I was able to ease her pain.
The danger, however, lay in the reverse possibility. I began to feel her pain. First as a great weariness and then a burning misery that radiated throughout my chest. Regretfully, I let go of her and left the room, walking out into that bitter night to cleanse myself of her energy. I hoped I had left behind enough of the balloon image to give her peace. She died two nights later, a smile still on her face. My dad took this to mean that she had seen Heaven in her path and that Jesus had come to welcome her. I knew differently.
I had the innate realization that I could do that at will, given that the recipient was somewhat aware. I believed Hawk had this, although he had no idea of it and probably couldn’t return it.
I turned over and over in bed, trying to sleep, but it was elusive that night. I did the only thing that brought me comfort. I slipped on a robe and slippers and went outdoors to the patio. I had hoped to release the restlessness to the sky, but the party next door was blocking me. Instead, I went inside, threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and left in my car to go to my dad’s church. I had a key to the back door and let myself in, headed for the organ. When Mom was ill, I’d often played throughout the night. It was an emotional release. One badly needed. Without release, I became overwhelmed, fearful, and anxious.
What I didn’t count on was that my dad was at the church as well. His office door opened, flooding the hallway with his lamp’s light. He came toward the organ, knowing it was me. I felt him approach and turned on the bench, rising to hug him.
“You can’t sleep again?” he asked simply.
I shook my head.
“What has you upset?”
I shrugged. “It’s not a bad thing, Dad. I’ve met someone, and he has many layers. I know he’s good inside, but he’s working very hard at hiding it.”
“You and your mother. You both always looked for the beauty within and blind yourself to the danger in discovering it.”
“Isn’t that supposed to be your job?” I teased him with a small smile.
“I suppose, but it seems to come easier to you, as it did to your mother. Often, she guided me when I couldn’t see it. This man, is he someone I know?” Dad was concerned and protective, as always.
“No, I wouldn’t think so. He lives a few miles from here, but I don’t know where. We’ve talked many times over the past few weeks, went on a picnic once. I’m drawn to him.”
“Be wary, Liane.”
“I will, promise,” I acknowledged and turned back to begin a piece by Bach. It was a driven, emotional piece and served to release the restlessness that kept me awake. Instead of returning to my apartment, I followed Dad into the vicarage and crept up to my bedroom there; the place I’d slept since I was a young child. It had comforting, simple energy and I was soon asleep.
CHAPTER NINE
Auggie
I waved goodbye to Dad and took my seat in the corporate jet Worth had sent to pick me up. I hated to leave Dad even though he assured me he was doing just fine and needed to get used to the idea of being alone. He said he and Margaret had many friends who were still there for him, and he’d never be lonely. I’m not sure if I wanted to believe him so I could get home to Worth and the kids, or whether I truly did. Regardless, there was only so much I could do for him there. Time would have to take care of the rest.
I buckled myself in, and the attendant brought me a pillow and cover. “As soon as we’re off the ground and leveled out, I’ll bring you a pot of tea and some sandwiches,” she said with a kind smile. I liked the way she looked and thought she was perfect for her job. She was professional, yet had a soft and loving face with eyes that seemed to invite confidence.