“Do I frighten you?” she countered.
I gave the question serious thought. “I’m amazed, but not scared. I’ve never been around anyone like you before,” I told her, trying to put her at ease.
“It’s okay if it bothers you. That’s why I don’t talk about it with many people. It makes them believe I’m a bit looney or one of those woo-woo psychics who charge people for a bunch of malarkey.”
“I didn’t think that.”
“I know,” she said, and those words took on a completely different significance.
We sat companionably on the blanket and watched the water churning downriver. The Ohio was not your sweet, meandering river. It originated near Pittsburgh and met up with the Mississippi further south. It had wicked currents and while some pleasure boaters could be seen there from time to time, so could reports of drowning as people were pulled into undertows. The majority of its traffic was freighters pulling barges.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt as peaceful as I did alongside Liane. She was so incredibly pure and vulnerable. My every instinct was to protect and love her. I almost felt as though that’s the reason I’d been born. There was no artifice in her. She wore no makeup and made no attempt to impress anyone.
She was a giver. The problem was, I was a taker. I was completely out of my depth here. “Will you teach me? About yourself? About how you look at the world? Will you help me erase some of the darkness that follows me around?” I asked the question, while at the same time not believing the words that were coming from my mouth.
She swiveled and looked at me, her hand reaching up again to touch my cheek. It trailed over the scars, and it almost felt as though she was wiping them away. “Of course I will.” Her response was soft, and she leaned toward me and kissed me gently on the lips.
The oxygen was sucked from my body. I’d been sitting there this entire time, wanting so badly to kiss her and knowing it could push her away. Then, to my astonishment, she kissed me. She had touched the ugly part of me and not pulled away. Who was this ethereal angel? My entire life had been one long blur of black, ass-kissing resentment and in less than an hour, she had me ready to lay down my hard-earned life for her.
“Time to go,” she whispered, releasing my lips and bending into the chore of putting the remaining food back into the basket. I sort of rocked back on my feet in an amazed shock. She turned and smiled sweetly, snapping me back to reality and I leapt up and gathered the trash, dumping it in a receptacle.
“I’ll get that,” I said, pointing to the basket and blanket. I extended my hand and with a feather-light pull, she was standing and brushing herself off. I walked her to the car and installed her safely in the passenger seat before retrieving the remains of the picnic and popping it into my trunk.
I was quiet and thoughtful as I followed her directions to a small, well-kept duplex set back from the road. I pulled into the driveway and could think of nothing more to say than, "Thank you."
She nodded and that Mona Lisa smile appeared on her face. "I know. It takes a bit of getting used to. You will, though, Hawk. That much I promise." She already had her door open and was out of the car before I pulled on my handle. She waved and walked up the sidewalk to her front door.
I wanted to follow her. I wanted to kiss her on the doorstep. I wanted so much more.
Instead, I lifted a hand when she waved one more time before disappearing, feeling like a school boy on a first date. On the drive home, my cheeks began to ache. A quick glance in the rear view mirror proved why. A huge grin seemed to have taken up residence on my face. I massaged my aching jaw, but the smile didn't falter. I don’t remember ever smiling that much.
Even though it was dark, I saddled Diablo and rode to the boundary so I could look out over Carlos Acres. There was only a dim light on in the barn and just two upstairs lights at the big house. Something was different, and I wondered what it was. That’s when I realized. It was me.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Liane
I drove home that evening with mixed feelings. I’d been brought up to be fairly submissive and reserved. That’s the way British girls were supposed to behave, and most particularly daughters of vicars.
I don’t understand why I felt so moved to touch Hawk’s cheek and then to actually kiss him. I just knew his energy was conflicted. There was a solid, intelligent, sensitive man inside what felt like a rather porous, dark shadow. The shadow felt less dense when he was close to me. This told me I was able to have some effect on him, compelling me to reach out and pull him closer.
He made it fairly apparent that he was interested in me. I knew that his appearance didn’t speak for the man inside, but perhaps Dad wouldn’t be able to see beyond that. I was an adult, however, and I’d done my best to look after him, but the time had come for me to have my own life.
I shared a duplex with Barbara and Dan Connor. Our units were side by side with garages to the outside. We each had small patios off the kitchen but were very different in how we lived. The Connors, while very nice people, tended to barbecue and party loudly with friends who drank too much. On my side of the privacy fence was my collection of trash to treasure outdoor furniture, chimes, a small water fountain and a variety of birdhouses. My rooms were much like my patio, filled with reclaimed furnishings I had doctored and decorated. I didn’t mind the eclectic look, or even that things were outdated. It just felt like an extension of my inner self, and that made it home.
I pulled into my drive and saw that the Conners’ house was fully lighted and heard loud music streaming out their opened windows. I sighed, knowing it would be a little harder to get to sleep. Just then, Dan emerged from his living room, a bag of ice cubes in his hand. He slammed the bag on the porch concrete several times to break it up and waved to me with a smile.
“Care to join us?” he called over, but I shook my head.
“Another time, perhaps, thank you, Dan. I’m rather tired and want to get some sleep.” I hinted but as good as he was, he could be a bit dense.
I went inside and closed all the windows against the clamor coming from next door. I was highly sensitive, and loud music and parties could easily overwhelm me. I changed into my nightie and sought out my headphones so that I might drown out the neighbors with some new age natural sounds. I slid between the sheets of my bed and tried to go to sleep, but Hawk was on my mind.