The Lie

“It explains so much,” my father adds with a sigh.

“You’re not a bad person just because you fell in love with someone else,” Kayla says, staring at me with rare sincerity in her dark eyes. “You’re just human. Like the rest of us.”

Well I can’t say that my heart doesn’t feel warm from hearing them say this but that’s still not the problem at hand.

Lachlan picks up on this, saying, “So why have you broken up?”

I exhale loudly. “Where do I begin? One of Natasha’s friends, Melissa, a student of mine this year, has it in for us. For Natasha especially. She knows we’re seeing each other and is threatening to report me.”

“Report you for what?” Kayla asks. “You’re not Natasha’s teacher.”

“No, I’m not. And even next year, we would make sure not to be in each other’s class. But this girl can do some real damage. She’s been hitting on me, trying to mess with me obviously, give her some ammo, and of course I’ve been trying to be as professional as possible, constantly shooting her down. But she’s fragile. No, she’s a fucking loon. And now she wants us to suffer. So she threatened the both of us and told Natasha that if she doesn’t leave me, she’ll get me fired from my job. Who knows the lies she can make up.”

“And so she left you,” my mum says with disbelief.

I nod. “Aye. She did. She didn’t want me to lose my job. She thinks she’s doing the right thing but she’s not.”

“She’s trying to save you,” Kayla says quietly.

“I know. But she can’t save me by losing me. It might work sometimes but not this time.”

My dad clears his throat. “It’s honorable of her,” he says. “But I can tell you’re not going to accept it. You do have a very rare teaching position, though, and that’s something to consider. That doesn’t come around every day.”

“No, it doesn’t. But neither does she. And if I have to choose, then it’s no contest. I choose her.”

“So what are you going to do?” Lachlan asks as he begins to cut into his roast. The man can’t keep his appetite in check for long. “What can you do?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know. Telling you was the first step. The next step… I think I have to tell the school.”

“Tell them what?” my father asks. “That you were seeing a student?”

“Yes,” I say. “And if it works out, that hopefully I will be seeing her again. Look, I can’t let her go and I won’t let her go. Life rarely gives you second chances like this.”

“But what if you tell them and they fire you and you don’t get her back,” Kayla points out.

“Always the optimist, aye?” I say to her. “In that case, at least I did all I could. I’m not giving up without a fight.”

My words fall over the table, bringing everyone into silence where we finally enjoy our meal. It isn’t until later, when Lachlan is leaving, that he pulls me into a bear hug.

I have to say, it surprises me.

“What’s that for,” I tell him, pulling away.

His brow is furrowed as he stares at me, a million creases on his forehead. “It’s because I know what it’s like to fight. You don’t have to do it alone. Go get her back Brigs. I’m with you all the way.” He slaps me on the back.

It hurts like hell.

But his words do give me strength.

***

The next morning I get up bright and early, pausing in the doorway of Lachlan’s old room and staring at the bed where Natasha and I were last together here. The sun streams in through the window and I can almost see her there, the smile on her face, beaming at me brightly, the moment I told her I loved her. The moment she let herself believe it.

I take it all in and know that I’ve never been so honest, never been so real with myself than I was right then. That that’s something I need to honor.

I have other people to honor as well.

Before I head to the airport, I have the cab driver drop me off at the cemetery where Miranda and Hamish are buried together. I stop in front of their graves and put down a haphazard bouquet of late flowers I picked from my mum’s garden.