We sat and stared at each other and, all things considered, I felt a little disappointed when his mother returned.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, looking a little flustered. “My phone call took longer than I expected. I’m trying to arrange a flight to Amsterdam and Aer Lingus doesn’t make it easy. I have to go into their offices tomorrow and that will take up half my day.”
“It’s fine,” I said, standing up. “But I better go now.”
“He’s marrying a girl called Alice,” said Jonathan.
“Is he indeed?” she said. “Lucky Alice.” She paused then and stared at me. “We know each other, don’t we?” she asked. “You look terribly familiar.”
“I think we do,” I said. “Didn’t you use to work in the tearoom at Dáil éireann?”
“Yes, I still do, actually.”
“I used to be a civil servant. Our paths occasionally crossed there. I once got punched in the face by the Taoiseach’s Press Officer and you took care of me afterward.”
She thought about this and shook her head. “I have a vague memory of that,” she said. “But then again, punch-ups happen there all the time. Are you sure it was me?”
“Definite,” I said, but pleased that she didn’t recall it, as of course I had confided in her that day about my sexuality. “You were very kind to me.”
“All right. It’s just that you remind me of someone I once knew. A long time ago.”
I shrugged and turned to Jonathan, offering him a half-bow as I prepared to leave.
“It’s been a pleasure, young man,” I said.
“Good luck with your forthcoming wedding to your fiancée Alice,” he said.
“He’s an interesting boy,” I said to his mother as I stepped past her. “You’re going to have your hands full with him.”
“I know,” she said, smiling. “But he’s my darling. And I’m not letting this one go. Oh!”
“What?” I asked, for she had shivered suddenly. “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” she said. “I just had one of those strange sensations, as if someone walked over my grave.”
I smiled, said my goodbyes and made my way toward the door. Fuck you, I said to the universe. All I asked for was a sign, something to give me the courage to walk away, and you couldn’t even do that. I had no choice.
It was time to get married.
Loving Someone Else
I entered the sacristy by the side door to find Julian seated at a table, looking over the Order of Service for the ceremony. For someone who must have had just as few hours of sleep as me, he seemed remarkably fresh-faced, having rid himself of the stubble that he’d been favoring lately and got a haircut. It was a surprise to see him wearing his reading glasses—he almost never wore them around people—but he took them off as soon as he saw me and placed them in his top pocket. It probably goes without saying that his new suit fitted him like a second skin.
“There you are,” he said, grinning up at me. “The condemned man. How’s the head?”
“Terrible,” I told him. “How’s yours?”
“Not too bad, all things considered. I got a couple of hours’ sleep, then went for a swim in the Countess Markievicz pool before visiting my barber. He put hot towels over my face and hummed Simon and Garfunkel songs while he shaved me and the whole thing was incredibly relaxing.”
“You did all that in the last nine hours?” I asked, baffled.
“Yes, why not?”
I shook my head. How could someone drink as much as him, be out as late as him and then get up, do all that and still look so attractive? Were some people just given everything?
“I feel like I’m going to be sick,” I said. “I might be better off going back to bed.”
His smile faded and he threw me an anxious look before bursting out laughing. “Jesus,” he said. “Don’t do that to me, Cyril. I thought you were serious for a minute.”
“What makes you think I’m not?” I muttered. “Anyway, I’m here, amn’t I?”
“You realize I’d have no choice but to kill you if you let my sister down, right? You were in some form last night all the same. I suppose the nerves were getting to you. Your friend Nick was pretty upset by the way you spoke to him.”
“He’s not my friend,” I said. “And how do you know how he feels?”
“Oh, I ran into him earlier. Just by chance on Grafton Street. We went for a quick coffee.”
I sat down and closed my eyes. Of course he had. And of course they had. I could have predicted it.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, coming over and taking the seat next to me. “Do you need an aspirin?”
“I’ve had four already.”
“How about some water?”
“Yes, please.” He went over to the sink and when he couldn’t find a glass, reached for a large golden chalice with silver inlay along the knop, filled it to the brim and covered it with a bronze paten before handing it to me. “Bless you, my son,” he said.
“Thanks, Julian,” I said.
“Are you sure you’re going to be OK?”
“I’ll be fine,” I told him, trying to look cheerful. “Happiest day of my life.”
“It’s hard to believe that we’re going to be brothers-in-law in an hour or so, isn’t it? After all these years of friendship, I mean. I don’t know if I’ve ever said it, Cyril, but I was really happy when you asked me to be your best man. And when you asked Alice to marry you.”
“Who else would I ask?” I said.
“Well, there’s a lot of girls out there.”
“I meant who else would I ask but you?” I said. “You’re my best friend, after all.”
“And you’re mine. She looked so happy when I was leaving the house this morning.”
“Who did?”
“Alice, of course!”
“Oh yeah. Of course. Is she here yet anyway?”
“No, the priest said he’ll give us the nod when she and Max arrive. I saw your father out there, though. And the new Mrs. Avery. She’s a bit of a stunner, isn’t she?”
“My adoptive father,” I said. “And, yes, she’s a model, as it happens.”
“Get out of town!”
I rolled my eyes.
“Why?” I asked. “Were you thinking of having a crack at her yourself later?”
“It crossed my mind, but no. Models are hard work and they’re all fucking crazy. I tried it on with Twiggy once and she was having none of it.”
“I guess that means she’s crazy,” I said.
“I didn’t mean it like that. But she looked at me like I was something she trod in. Even Princess Margaret wasn’t that rude. Fair play to Charles all the same. He still manages to pull them, doesn’t he? I hope I’m still having as much luck as he is when I’m that age.”