Another step and he’s almost within touching distance, but he comes no farther. “Still not seeing the problem, Cherry.” His voice goes dark. “I’ll give it to you every day. Several times a day, if I have a say in the matter.”
He’s slowly coming closer, as if he’s afraid I’ll bolt. I want to. As it is, I press a hand to his solid chest. The instant I touch him, all my happy parts clench tight and hot. But I hold his gaze, don’t let him duck down to kiss me. “That’s the problem, Big Guy. You can’t. You won’t be where I am. And I…”
Dex’s soft lips brush against mine, stealing the breath from me.
“And I…” I say again. “I’ll miss it too much.”
Again he kisses me, a slow, melting nuzzle of lips. Soothing, tempting. Despite myself, I cup his cheek, stroke along his beard. His big, warm hand holds the back of my neck, keeping me steady as he gives me another kiss. No tongue, just mouth to mouth, an exchange of air. Just enough to let me feel.
“I’m kissing you,” he whispers against my lips, “and already I miss you.”
A ragged breath leaves me, and I break away from him. Not that he lets me go far. He holds my cheeks and presses his forehead to mine. With his great height, the action makes it seem as though he’s sheltering me, his broad shoulders hunched, his thick arms surrounding me.
With another man it might be intimidating. I simply feel protected with Dex. Which makes all of this so much harder.
“That’s the point. I hate being left behind, Ethan. I hated it when my dad did it. I hated it when my mom decided to live in another country. I hate the idea of it now. I tried to tell you this before. But you’re…you, all sexy and sweet and strong and beautiful… God, I’m babbling. You make me babble, Ethan. No guy has ever made me do that. How am I supposed to resist you?”
“You don’t.” The corners of his eyes crinkle, but it doesn’t look like amusement; it looks like pain. Perhaps the same pain I’m feeling.
“Last night,” I tell him, “was… I’ve never felt that before. Not just the sex, although…Hell, Ethan Dexter, you rock my world.” My fingers tighten on his jaw. “I know I said I’d try but… Shit…now I know it will slowly kill me not to have all of you.”
“You have me,” he rasps as though I’m killing him now. “You fucking have all of me.”
His declaration rips through my heart. We’ve only had a few days together. Already he knows as well as I do that the connection we made altered us. But I’m afraid I can only bend so far before I break. My throat swells tight.
“That’s the thing. I don’t have you. I will never have you with me all of the time.”
His body jerks, and I’m the one holding tight, afraid he’ll pull away.
“Ethan, I wouldn’t change you for the world. Football is part of who you are. Take that away, and I take away an essential component of you. But it doesn’t change the fact that if I don’t pull back now, I’ll regret it.”
He steps away, shoving his fisted hands deep in his jeans pockets. Massive muscles bunch along his shoulders and down his arms. His expression is like stone, but Dex was never very good with hiding emotion in his eyes. Maybe he doesn’t want to be. So much pain there. Anger too.
“I never want to be a regret to you, Fiona.” His throat works on a swallow, and he glances away, giving me his strong profile. “I don’t want to let you go. But if that’s what you want, I’ll respect your decision.”
So fucking grown up. I don’t feel like one. I’m the stupid kid who makes all the wrong choices. Is this one of them? I’m trying to do the right thing, and I know my usual self would toss caution to the wind and screw the consequences. But that’s led me down too many bad roads.
This is the smart choice. End it now before I turn into a whining, nagging leech girlfriend.
An unsteady breath leaves me. “I—”