The Friends We Keep

“I’m just thinking.”


The carousel stopped but all three kids stayed on. Gabby and Nicole had bought them each three rides and they would be lucky if they only wanted to stay on that long. Lately, every time they came to the POP, Tyler said he was getting too old to ride the horses, yet he continued to do it happily. Nicole knew the day would come when he would actually mean it. While it would be yet another sign he was growing up, she knew she would miss the little boy things they’d done together.

Things Eric missed every day.

She drew in a breath. “Eric bailed on Tyler again. I don’t think they’ve had a day together in six months. It makes me crazy.”

“I’m sorry. What does Tyler think?”

Nicole looked at her friend. “That’s the worst of it. I don’t think he cares anymore. Dad is just a concept, not a person. He doesn’t miss him because there’s nothing to miss. I keep thinking that Eric is going to wake up to the fact that he’s losing the one thing that can’t be recovered. Time. I worry that he genuinely doesn’t care. Then I wonder if it’s my fault.”

“How could it be your fault? Eric’s his father.”

“I know. It’s just that Tyler and I are so close and maybe Eric feels shut out.”

“No. Tyler is his son. He’s responsible for his own relationship with him.”

“I guess.” Nicole bit her lower lip. “Sometimes I worry that I feel guilty about the divorce.”

“Guilty in what way?”

“That I didn’t suffer enough. Eric left and that was bad, but financially things are better. I have the house and Tyler. Our lives are great.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“So many women have a hard time after a divorce.”

Gabby drew her brows together. “You think you should be in more emotional and financial pain and because you’re not, you’re a bad person?”

“Okay, when you put it like that, I sound like an idiot.”

“You kind of are,” Gabby said gently. “Nicole, divorce is hard, no matter what. You and Tyler have made a great adjustment. Be grateful, don’t beat yourself up. Not that you’ll listen. You do have an interesting set of rules about things. Remember buying your new car?”

Nicole winced. When her car had coughed its last breath, she’d been forced to buy a new one. She’d agonized for weeks, driving everyone crazy. It wasn’t that she didn’t have the money, it was that she felt she didn’t deserve a new car. Her friends had finally insisted on an intervention. Armed with statistics and safety reports, they narrowed her choices down to three, then Rob and Andrew had taken her car shopping.

“Okay, I might have some issues,” she admitted, then confessed, “Shannon says I’m stuck.”

“Shannon is right. You are. You aren’t pining for Eric, but you’re not moving forward, either.”

“She told you about Jairus?”

Gabby stared at her. “What about Jairus? OMG, something happened, didn’t it?”

“OMG?”

“I live with a fifteen-year-old and don’t change the subject. You said it was no big deal. You said he was surprisingly nice and good with the kids. There’s more, isn’t there?”

“Maybe. Yes. I don’t know.”

Gabby laughed. “You liked him. I can’t believe it. You who hate all things B the D liked the guy who created him.”

“I didn’t like him.”

“You’re acting like you’re sixteen and pretending not to notice the football quarterback standing right beside you. Tell me what happened. Everything. Start from the very beginning. You said hi and he said hi and...”

Nicole groaned. “He thought I was a hooker.”

“What?”

Nicole told her about the first meeting with Jairus and how he’d asked her out.

“One of the counselors told him where I worked and he showed up after the class you came to. Shannon was there. She went outside so we could talk, but she didn’t leave until he did.”

“That’s just like Shannon. So where does the stuck part come in?”

“He asked me out again and I said no. Shannon thinks I’m avoiding relationships.”

“She’s right. You’ve been separated for well over a year and divorced for months and months. Don’t you want to stick your toe in the water, so to speak? Don’t you miss having a man in your life? Not just for sex, although that can be great, but to have someone who cares about you. Someone who is more than a friend?”

Nicole laughed. “Why don’t you tell me what you really think?”

Gabby’s expression turned stricken. “Was that too much? Was I too blunt?”