“I was always better at goodbyes.”
“Wow…” she blew out a sharp breath.
Every emotion I felt toward her throughout the years was coming back to me, stronger than ever. I was mad at myself for not calling her, I was sad, I was happy, I was confused, I was in love. I was everything that Alyssa ever made me feel.
My mind was seconds away from exploding.
“You know what?” She cleared her throat and gave me a tight smile. “We aren’t going to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Fight. Argue. Because if we do that, you know what it means? It would mean you and I had some kind of relationship, which we don’t. You became a stranger the moment you disappeared into the cornfields of Iowa.”
My lips parted, but before I could speak, she’d turned on her heel and stormed off to help another table. She had a fake smile pasted to her face while she spoke to the customers. Her foot tapped nonstop against the checkered floor, and there was a slight rock back and forth to her body.
Her eyes shot over to me, as she spoke to the individuals.
“Well, I think I’ll have the eggs over easy and,”–one customer spoke, but was cut off by Alyssa storming back over to me—“bacon.”
“Does Kellan even know that you’re here?! Or were you just going to surprise attack him at his job, too?” Her hands hit her hips and she cocked an eyebrow.
I cocked a brow back at her. “Yeah. He’s the reason I’m here. For the wedding.”
“What?” she asked, flustered.
“The wedding… You know, how my brother is marrying your sister.”
“But…” she paused, her irritation dropping. “The wedding isn’t for another month. You came back a month early just to help with that?”
“Kellan said it was this weekend.”
“Well, that would definitely be news to me. But with everything that’s happening, I wouldn’t be shocked.”
“What does that mean? What’s happening?”
Her mouth opened, but no words came out. She tried again, nibbling on her bottom lip. “Are you using, Logan?”
“What?” I asked, defensively. “What the hell does that mean?”
“You know what it means. I just…” She started shaking, her nerves taking ahold of her. “I need to know if you’re clean. If you’ve been using anything.”
“That’s none of your business. Seeing how if I told you anything, that would mean we had some kind of relationship, and as you stated earlier we—”
“Lo,” she whispered. The nickname falling from her lips made me rethink my annoyance and my defensive approach.
Her eyes.
Her lips.
Alyssa.
High.
My greatest high.
“Yeah?” I whispered back.
“Are you using?”
“No.”
“Not even weed?”
“Only weed,” I replied. A heavy sigh fell from her lips. “Come on, Alyssa, give me a break. Weed is legal in some states.”
“Not in Iowa.” She was starting to sound like she was worried, which meant she kind of still cared, which meant hope. What did I care about hope though? The Keep Alyssa Out wall was built, and I wouldn’t be knocking it down any time soon. I’d be on the next train out of this place if a wedding wasn’t happening. “Only weed though?”
“Only weed.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
She stepped back once, before stepping forward twice. She held out her pinky in my direction. “Pinky?”
I stared at her pinky for a while, remembering all of the promises we used to make when we were younger, locking our fingers together.
My pinky wrapped around hers, the small touch filling me up. “Pinky.”
When we released our hold, she stepped back twice, before stepping forward once. Her hands stretched out toward me and without any thought, I took her hold. She pulled me from my seat and wrapped her arms around me. The way she held on so tight, told my gut that something was wrong.
“High, what is it?”
She pulled me closer, holding on while I refused to let go. Her lips pressed against my ear, her hot breaths dancing against my skin. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” When we parted, she put her hands in prayer position and pressed them against her lips, tilting her head slightly. “Lo…”
My fingers ran through my hair and I nodded. “High...”
“Welcome home,” she said.
“It’s not home. I’m just stopping in before leaving again.”
She shrugged. “Home is always home. Even when you don’t want it to be. And Logan?” she said, slightly rocking back and forth on her heels.
“Yeah?”
She didn’t say anything else, but I heard her loud and clear.
I missed you too, High.
Chapter Seventeen
Logan
I dropped my duffle bag on Kellan and Erika’s front porch before knocking. My stomach knotted, not knowing how it’d be seeing both of them after so long. Time had a way of changing people, and I wondered how much it had changed them. I let a few more seconds pass before building up the courage to knock.
When the door opened, a weighted sigh left me. Kellan gave me his big brother grin seconds before pulling me tight into a hug. “Your train was supposed to get in yesterday. You get lost, brother?”