“No need to be sorry. We all have our preferences,” the voice promised. “Anyway, the wait staff is being hammered, Jenny was just sent home with the flu, and I was ordered to bring you an orange juice and take over your table.”
My eyes moved to the girl speaking. She had full, rose-colored lips and blue eyes that were more than familiar to me; they were the one thing amazing about that town. Those eyes had a talent of being able to smile all on their own. Her blonde hair was straight, and she had bangs that fell over her eyebrows.
Neither of us had spoken a word.
She kept staring.
I wouldn’t look away.
Alyssa.
High.
My greatest High.
She looked beautiful, but that wasn’t surprising. There wasn’t one day I remembered where she wasn’t beautiful. Even on the days where I was too far gone to open my eyes, I remembered the beauty of her soft words begging me to come back to her, to keep breathing.
“Logan,” she whispered, placing the glass of orange juice onto the table. I stood up from my chair as she stepped forward toward me. At first I thought she was going to hug me, embrace me, forgive me for being me and never returning her calls. But in reality, she wasn’t going to hug me. Her palm was open, and I knew right when I saw it, she was going to slap me. Hard. Whenever Alyssa did anything, she did it with full force, nothing was ever half-assed.
Her arm rose, came at me swift, and I was ready for the sting that I deserved. I closed my eyes in anticipation, but I never felt her touch. God, how I wanted to feel her touch. Opening my eyes, I watched her shaky hand hovering in the air, centimeters from my cheek. Our eyes locked and I saw the tears burning in the back of her eyes, the confusion, the heartbreak.
“Hi, Alyssa,” I softly spoke. She cringed and closed her eyes. Her hand stayed in the air and I took it in my own, laying her fingers against my cheek. A small whimper of pain escaped her lips as her skin laid against mine. I pulled her closer into a hug, and it felt just like yesterday. Her skin was so cold, like always, and my body heated hers up. Her fingers moved from my cheek, and she wrapped both arms around my neck, holding onto me as if she forgave me for all of the missed calls and silence.
Her fingers clung to me, almost digging into my flesh as if she thought I was some kind of mirage that would disappear if she didn’t keep hold. I didn’t blame her—I’d disappeared before.
I inhaled her hair.
Peaches.
God, I hated peaches until that day.
She smelled like the days when summer went to sleep and awakened as fall. Soft, sweet, perfect.
My fucking High.
“I missed…” she spoke against my ear.
“I know,” I replied.
“You left…” she started.
“I know,” I replied.
“How dare you…” she began.
“I know,” I replied.
Her body tensed up and she yanked away from me. The sadness in her eyes was gone. Only anger remained.
That seems right.
“You know?” she hissed, standing tall, but still so small. Her arms crossed and she bit her bottom lip. The small crinkles in the corners of her eyes deepened, and it was clear that she wasn’t that same girl I left behind years ago. She was a grown woman now, and she had a fire burning deep in her soul. “I called you.”
“I know.”
Her brow furrowed. “No. I called you, Logan. I called you and left you over five hundred messages.”
One thousand and ninety messages.
I didn’t want to correct her.
“You disappeared. You left me. Us. Kellan. You left us all,” she said. “I understand you needing your space, but you left me. After everything we’ve been through—after what happened—you left me alone with that.”
“I was getting better. I was working through the shit with my mom, the shit with you, and yeah, I was a mess, but I just needed time.”
“I gave you space, and you still stayed gone.”
“You called me every day, Alyssa. That’s not giving me space.”
“Kellan and I saved your life, and we thought you’d come back. I called you every day to let you know I was here, waiting. I thought you’d come back for me. For us.”
“You can’t save people’s lives, and you can’t expect people to come back for you, Alyssa. You should’ve known that after what happened with—” I bit my tongue, stopping my speech, but I knew I couldn’t take back my words. She knew what I was going to say. You should’ve known that after what happened with your father.
“That was mean.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
Her head shook back and forth. “For someone who said nothing, it sure communicated plenty.” Her voice cracked. “Over five hundred messages, and not one reply.”
One thousand and ninety messages.
Still didn’t correct her.
“I didn’t have anything to say to you,” I lied. I was building the wall that I knew I had to build coming into town. I had to keep my emotions and mind at bay to keep me from falling back into Alyssa’s life. Last time I was in her life, I ruined it. I couldn’t allow myself to do that to her again. So, I had to be cold, harsh even.
Because she deserved better than to be waiting by her phone for someone like me to call her back.
“Nothing?” she stepped back, flabbergasted. “Not one thing? Not even hello?”