“We can do this, Logan.”
“But… I’ll hurt you. I don’t want to, but I will somehow.”
“Kiss me once,” I said, and he listened. His mouth found mine, and he kissed me slow, pulling away even slower. My body tingled as he ran his fingers through my curls. “Kiss me twice.” He listened once more, lifting himself slightly so he hovered over my body. Our eyes locked, and he stared at me, as if he were trying to promise me forever, even though we only had our now. The second kiss was harder, hotter, more real. “Kiss me three times.”
His lips traveled down to my neck, where he massaged me with his tongue, sucking it slowly, making me push my hips up in his direction.
“Logan, I…” My voice was shaky as we lay in the darkened room. “I’ve never…” My cheeks heated up, and I couldn’t say the words. But he already knew.
“I know.”
My stomach fluttered as I bit my lip. “I want you to be my first.”
“You’re nervous?”
“I’m nervous.”
He grimaced slightly. “If you don’t want to—”
“But I do.”
“You’re beautiful.” His fingers combed my hair behind my ear.
“Still a little nervous.”
“Do you trust me?” he asked. I nodded. “Okay. Close your eyes.” I did as he told me, my heart beating faster and faster each second. What was going to happen first? Would it hurt? Would he hate it? Would I cry?
Tears were already forming in the back of my eyes.
I’d cry.
His mouth kissed the edge of my lips. “You’re safe, High,” he promised me. His hands slowly started to lift my oversized pajama T-shirt, and my body stiffened up. “You’re safe,” he whispered against my earlobe, sucking it gently. “Do you trust me?” he asked once more. My body relaxed, and I began to cry, not because I was nervous anymore, but because I’d never felt so safe.
“I do. I trust you.”
Each time a tear fell, he kissed it away.
He lifted the shirt off of my body inch by inch, tossing it to the side of the room. His mouth started high, and he worked his way down. Licking my neck, sucking my chest, his tongue outlining the curve of my bra, kissing every inch of my bare skin. “Alyssa,” he whispered, before reaching the edge of my panties. My breaths were heavy, and my hips arched up, needing him to keep touching me. My hands fell against my chest, feeling the way he controlled my heartbeats.
His voice filled with concern. “Tell me to stop, okay? If you need me to stop—”
“No…Please…”
He edged my panties down my legs, and each inch they moved, the faster my heart raced. “Alyssa,” he said once more. He looked up to me, locking eyes with me for a split second before spreading my legs wide on the bed and allowing his head to lower. When his tongue found me, I gasped out from the bliss of it all. My fingers twisted the sheets into my palms, and his tongue slid in and out of me. My mind was spinning. My heart somehow found a way to both speed up and completely stop beating. It was as if every few seconds I’d die, and his lips, his tongue, his soul, resuscitated me. I’d never known something so simple could feel so…
Logan…
“Please…” I panted, twisting and turning as he slid two fingers inside of me, thrusting them in slow, and pulling them out slower. Then, they thrust harder, faster, deeper…
Lo…
I was seconds away from exploding as I twisted my hands in my sheets. I was seconds away from begging him to take me to the edge, and allow me to freefall. “I want you, Logan. Please.” My breaths sawed in and out, my body becoming accustomed to the pleasure he brought to me.
“Not yet,” he said, pulling away, removing his fingers from me.
Our eyes locked, and the way he looked at me made me feel as if I’d never be alone. “Alyssa,” he said. “I love you.” His voice was shaky, and his eyes watered up, yet the tears fell from my eyes.
You’re my best friend, Lo, I thought.
We were closer than I ever knew any people to ever be. He was a part of me in every way possible, our lives twining together as if we were one flame burning together in the dark of the night.
When he felt like crying, the tears always came from my eyes first.
When his heart wanted to break, mine shattered.
You’re my best friend.
He bent forward and kissed me. He kissed me with promises that we never made to one another. He kissed me with apologies for things he never did. He kissed me with all that he was, and I kissed him back with everything that existed within me.
He stood up and removed his pants and boxers, and even though I felt safe, the butterflies still formed in my gut. “You can change your mind, High,” he swore. “You can always change your mind.”