He led me to my bedroom, closing the door behind us. As I climbed into bed, he moved over to my vinyl record collection and thumbed through each record. When he found one, he put it on, making my eyes water even more.
As Sam Smith’s song “Life Support” began to play, Logan shut off the light and crawled into the bed and wrapped his arms around me. As he pulled me closer, making me curve into him, I began to shake as he began softly singing the lyrics into my ear.
I began to cry. As he continued to sing, my body kept trembling against his. He pulled me closer, he held me tighter. The song played on a loop, over and over again. He kept singing against me, into my soul, taming the wild fire, making me ache.
His voice put me to sleep, his arms kept me safe.
When I woke in the middle of the night, crying from a nightmare, Logan was fast asleep. His arms had fallen to his sides, his breaths fell through his mouth, and I stared at him, tears still falling down my cheeks.
“Lo,” I whispered. He stirred.
“Yeah?”
“I had a bad dream. Can you hold me?”
He didn’t hesitate. He pulled me close once more, allowing me to rest my head against his chest, feeling his heartbeats.
“You’re okay, Alyssa Marie Walters,” he sighed against my skin.
I cried more, pulling him closer. “I’m okay, Logan Francis Silverstone.”
Chapter Ten
Alyssa
When it rained, it poured.
My mom always said those words whenever she was in the middle of a court case, and bad news came rolling in. When one bad thing happened, something worse wasn’t that far behind. I never truly believed in that saying, because I was the optimist of the family, the glass-half-full girl. But lately, it seemed true. It was only a week ago since Dad broke up with me, and I hadn’t had time to process that event before the world came crashing down on me once again. I could hear Mom’s words playing on repeat in my head.
“When it rains, it pours, Alyssa. That’s just the truth about the world.”
“So,” Erika sighed, standing beside me in a grocery store aisle. “How many should we get?”
It’d been two weeks since I’d been throwing up each day. What I thought was created from nerves was now a bigger fear as we stood in front of the pregnancy tests. I didn’t know who else to call other than my sister, and when she heard the tremble in my voice, she was parked right outside of the house forty-five minutes later. Even though Erika was realistic and driven like our mom, she wasn’t so heartless. She loved me for my creative ways, and quirky personality, and I knew she’d do anything to help me.
“Maybe two?” I whispered, my body shaky.
She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. “We’ll do five. Just in case.” We walked up to the cashier, and they looked at us as if we were crazy for having so many tests. She grabbed a jug of water, too. As I was about to run out of the store humiliated, feeling the judgment coming through the cashier’s eyes, Erika huffed. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?”
They rang up our items, not looking at us once.
My phone dinged as we were walking out of the store.
Logan: Where are you? I need to see you.
I couldn’t answer. My phone dinged from him four more times before we got home. I shut off my phone.
We sat in my bathroom with the door locked. Mom wasn’t home yet, and all five pregnancy tests were unwrapped, sitting on the sink, waiting for me to pee on each one. I’d drank a whole jug of water, and as I started to feel the urge to use it, Erika made sure to coach me through it.
“You have to pee a little on a stick, then hold it, then another stick, then hold, then another—”
“I get it,” I sassed, annoyed. Not at her, but at myself for being in the current situation. I was supposed to be off to college next weekend, not peeing on five sticks.
Once the deed was done, we waited ten minutes. The packs said they’d only take two minutes, but I felt as if ten minutes would’ve been more accurate.
“What does a pink line mean on this one?” I asked, picking up the first stick.
“Pregnant,” Erika whispered.
I picked up the second. “And a plus sign?”
“Pregnant.”
My stomach tightened. “And two pink lines?”
She frowned.
Vomit rose to my throat. “And another plus sign?”
“Alyssa…” her voice shook.
“And this one that says pregnant? What does that mean?” Tears were falling down my cheeks, and I wasn’t certain how to make them stop. My breaths sawed in and out, my heartbeats became erratic. I didn’t know what to think about first. Logan? College? Mom? My tears?
“Aly, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out. Don’t panic.” Erika’s hand on my leg was the only thing keeping me from falling to the ground and rocking back and forth in a corner.
“I start college next weekend.”
“And you still will. We just need to figure out—”