Drew pulled up the menu on his phone for a Mediterranean place a couple of blocks away. I took a sip of my wine as I stood and stared at him while he placed our order. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I enjoyed this. Him. His company. Us, in our pajamas, ordering in food was something that relaxed me. He relaxed me, and being with him made me feel things I’d never felt before. I couldn’t explain it. I was myself and I didn’t need to hide behind the mask that had become attached to me for a better part of my life. I didn’t need to pretend to be happy. I could be sad and he’d be there to hold me and tell me that it was okay. I couldn’t do that with my parents. The moment a tear fell from my cheek, my mother would place her finger under my chin and tell me that Bell women didn’t cry and that it was a sign of weakness. If I cried in front of Grant, all I would get was, “Why are you being so hormonal?” So I learned not to cry. But the day I left my family was the day the tears started to come back without shame.
“Are you okay?” Drew asked as he placed his phone on the counter.
“Yeah.” I smiled.
“How about we watch a movie while we eat,” I spoke, placing my hand on his chest.
“Okay. What do you want to watch?”
“I don’t know. Let’s see what’s on.”
I took hold of his hand and led him over to the couch. Picking up the remote, I turned on the TV and searched under the movie section.
“We can do sappy, thriller, comedy. It’s your choice.” I smiled.
“Nope. I picked what we’re having for dinner. So it’s only right you pick what we watch.”
“Oh look. Magic Mike is available.” I grinned as I looked to see his reaction.
“Magic Mike, eh? Never saw it. So if that’s what you want to watch, then turn it on.”
Narrowing my eye at him, I spoke, “Really? Are you sure?”
“I told you that it was your pick.”
Just as I clicked “watch,” there was a knock at the door.
“Saved by the knock.” Drew winked and I playfully smacked his ass as he walked away.
Drew grabbed two plates and brought the food over to the couch. I pressed play and the movie began. This was one movie I would never grow tired of. We ate and finished off the bottle of Prosecco while we watched the movie.
“You like when he does that?” he asked as he pointed to Channing Tatum.
“Maybe.” I chewed on my bottom lip.
Drew got up from the couch and stood in front of the TV. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor while his hips moved back and forth. Cupping my hands over my mouth, I smiled in delight and could feel my panties getting wetter by the second. His tongue swept over his lips as he seductively moved towards me. Hooking his fingers in the waistband of his sweatpants, he slowly took them down with a smile. I had never been so turned on as I watched him dance in front of me. He approached me and took my hand, lifting me from the couch, grinding his body against mine as his eyes stared into mine.
“Perfect.” I smiled. “Thank you for the show.”
“Oh, baby, it’s not over yet.” His lips pressed against mine. “It doesn’t stop here.” He swooped me up in his arms and twirled me around, then carried me to the bedroom.
****
The riveting feeling that flooded my body from my third orgasm seemed to stay with me longer than it should have. Some serious mind-blowing sex had just taken place and left me feeling breathless. His fingers lightly swept over my ass as he held me under the sheets.
“You’re something else, Mr. Westbrook.” I softly stroked his arm.
“Thank you, Miss Bell. I aim to please and I hope my performance went way beyond your expectations.”
“Oh, it definitely did.” I laughed. “Way beyond.”
I should have been happy as I lay there in his arms, but something took its place. It wasn’t sadness, but confusion. What was I confused about? I had this generous, kind, loving, sexy-as-fuck man who was attracted to me and wanted me. He occupied every area of my body and mind. He comforted me. He gave me strength when I thought I already had it and he was there for me in more ways than one. Even when he didn’t know me from Adam on the plane, he was there for me. I wanted to love him, and a part of me already did. But there was another part of me, deeper inside, that told me no. It was the stranger that I saw in the mirror every day.
Chapter Thirty
Jillian
Friday had come and Kellan had to cancel his flight to New York because he was sick with a 102 fever and a bad cough. When he skyped me, I knew the moment he appeared on the screen something was wrong. He had been sick for a couple of days but didn’t feel the need to tell me because he thought he’d get better. Stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around me, I walked into my bedroom and stared at the long red, sleeveless, deep v neckline, with a cut out back evening gown I was going to wear tonight to the charity event.
“So, are you excited about tonight?” Kristen asked me as she stood in the doorway holding a glass of water.
“I think it’ll be fun.”
“You hate these things.”
“I hated them with my parents and Grant. I’ll be with Drew, so it’ll be fun.” I walked into the bathroom and started applying my makeup.
“You’re in love with him. I can tell. You don’t have to hide it from me.”
“I’m not hiding anything and I’ll admit, I do like Drew.”
She cocked her head at me as she sat down on the toilet.
“He’s a good man, Jill, and I know he loves you. I can tell just by the way he looks at you.”
“Maybe it’s lust on both our parts. He doesn’t want marriage. I don’t want marriage. So why get heavily involved? If I wanted marriage, I would have married Grant.” I shuddered.
She sighed. “You never loved Grant to begin with and the marriage was just a way to get revenge on your parents. You knew you’d never go through with it. But it’s different with the man you love.”