So, I stand here, helpless.
“Taylor…your family…they wouldn’t want this. They wouldn’t want you to die.”
With her arm, she brushes the tears away. “You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do,” I say with certainty. “They loved you. They wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself. When you love someone, you only want the best for them. This isn’t the best.”
“Yes, it is. This is the best for me—paying my penance and being with them. That is what’s best for me.”
“Taylor…please. You need to listen to me. You can’t just give up on life like this.”
Her eyes come to mine. “I’m not giving up on life. I just want to be free of the pain of missing them…free of hating myself for what I did. I want my family back more than anything. And…I need their forgiveness.”
Tears are falling again, running down her beautiful face. And I don’t care if she wants me close or not. I have to be near her.
I sit on the edge of the bed beside her. “Taylor…what happened…it wasn’t your fault. It was a tragic accident. But it wasn’t your fault.”
She shuts her eyes and dries the tears from her face with her hands. Then, she opens her eyes back up and says, “No.” She shakes her head, determined. “It was my fault.”
“I don’t believe that. And I know your family wouldn’t think that either.”
“You didn’t know them, so you can’t make that call,” she snaps.
“No, I didn’t.” I keep my voice gentle. “But I do know you. I know the person they raised you to be—loving, warm, caring, and amazing. So fucking amazing that I couldn’t help but fall in love with you.”
She closes her eyes again, but I keep talking, “And I might not have met your parents, but I do know those two people you talked about that day at the university, those two people who fell in love and fought to be together, because I saw them through your eyes, babe. I don’t believe for one second that they would want you to die. They gave you life. They raised you. Loved you. They sat by your side and fought with you through that first tumor when it threatened to take you away. They would want you to fight now.”
“That was before I killed them.” She opens her eyes but doesn’t look at me.
“It was an accident, babe. A tragic accident. Please…don’t do this. Fight to live. If not for yourself, then do it for me. I know you care about me—hold on to that, fight for that. Please. I’m begging you.”
My heart is beating hard against my chest, fear shaking my body, my mind praying that my words will finally reach her.
She looks at me with a flicker of warmth in her beautiful eyes, and I’m reminded of all the times I’ve stared into her eyes and seen that warmth and the hope and happiness that it made me feel.
And that tiny bit of hope I have left clings to that warmth in her eyes and silently begs her to live.
She exhales slowly. “You’re right. I do care about you, Liam…so much.” Her breath catches, and a tear slides down her cheek. She catches it and brushes it away.
“Taylor…”
She brings her eyes to me, and she doesn’t need to say anything. I know from the look in them that I’ve lost her.
She’s gone.
That tiny piece of hope I had left is crushed, right along with my heart, and I don’t stop the tears that fill my eyes. I let them be. And I let them fall.
She turns her face away from me and stares out the window. “I’m sorry, Liam. It’s too late. I want this. I want to die. I want to be with my family. It’s the ending I want.”
“It’s the ending I want.”
I couldn’t stay at the hospital. Not after hearing her say those words.
Those five words…so final. I knew there was nothing I could say or do to change her mind.
I felt helpless. I still do.
For the first time in my life, I know there is nothing I can do.
There is no arguing. No fighting. No reasoning.
I can’t change this.
Even though everything inside me is screaming for me to fight, I know it’d be pointless.
You can’t change a person’s mind if it’s truly what they want.
And Taylor wants to die.
This vibrant, beautiful woman wants to die.
I feel like I don’t know her. Maybe I never did.
And I don’t know how to deal with that…with any of it. So, I left her there, in that hospital bed, and I walked away.
Now, I just feel lost.
And, when I feel lost, I go to the only place that’s ever felt like home.
Well, apart from Taylor.
She felt like home.
From the moment I met her, I knew that she was different. That my life was about to change. I just didn’t realize how it would change.
Two weeks, and she’s stolen my heart completely.
Every time I touch Taylor, I feel grounded…that safety that only home can give you.