“It’ll be okay,” I said, overbright and loud. “You guys are acting like we’ll never see each other again.” I picked up my pack from the ground, noticing the way my hands shook. I hefted it up and over my shoulder. I was already wearing a heavy coat lined with fur, courtesy of Mama, who told me in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed to die in it, and that if I was about to die, I should take it off so it wouldn’t be damaged. “It’s only a few weeks. And hey, I’m getting out the easy way. I don’t have to trudge through the snow to the castle.”
I smiled weakly and was about to turn away from them, not wanting them to see the tears that were threatening to spill. It was only a few weeks, for fuck’s sake. In the grand scheme of things, it was nothing. I didn’t need to be acting like this. I didn’t agree with Randall and Morgan, but I understood their reasons. Maybe it would be good, getting this all out in the open.
But before I could look away, Kevin said, “Sam.”
Godsdammit. I looked up at him, knowing my eyes were wet. There was nothing I could do about that now. But at least I knew I could count on Kevin to say something graphic to defuse the situation.
So when he said, “Don’t go after them on your own,” I was shocked.
“Who?”
“The other dragons. The mated pair. Don’t go after them on your own. Wait until we get there.”
I stared at him curiously and saw a flash of blue behind his eyes, almost like starlight. I wondered if my own reflected the same. “Why?”
“Because you need us,” he rumbled. “It’s safer when we’re all together.”
“He won’t,” Randall said from behind me. “I’ll see to it. Even if I have to lock him away in a tower, I’ll make sure of it.”
And that broke whatever hold Kevin (Was it really? a little voice whispered in the back of my head) had on me. I glanced over my shoulder at Randall, but he only had eyes for Kevin.
I wondered just how much Randall knew.
I thought maybe it was almost time to find out.
I turned back to the others to see Kevin frowning and looking a little dazed. I decided right then and there that the gods were jerks and I was just about done with their meddling.
“I won’t,” I said, because I knew the others needed to hear it from me. “I’m not that stupid.”
Justin snorted. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
Best friends 5eva.
“It’s time,” Randall said from behind me.
It was. I hated it, but the longer we drew this out, the harder it’d be. I swallowed thickly and took a step back away from those I loved most.
“I’ll see you soon,” I said. “All of you.”
Ryan looked like he was going to say something more, but he looked away, jaw tightening, knuckles white on the hilt of his sword.
“I’ll see you soon,” I said again.
And then there was a pull and everything swirled around us and we—
II: Castle Freeze Your Ass Off
Chapter 8: Love Letters and Lesbians
THE FIRST time I went to Castle Freesias, I was sixteen years old.
The year before, when I’d initially met Randall, I’d turned his nose into a dick, because they were pretty much all I thought about. It hadn’t helped that he’d had to officiate at a wedding the next day and couldn’t figure out a counterspell.
He’d pretty much hated me for a long time after that.
But if Morgan had been telling the truth, he’d also been begrudgingly impressed.
So when Morgan had taken Gary, Tiggy, and me to the North, I was, of course, terrified. Randall, after all, was the wizard of all wizards. He was the one who decided who was put through the Trials, the secretive process that all apprentices were required to complete before becoming full-fledged wizards. He oversaw them too, and it was his decision whether said apprentices passed.
He didn’t pass many people. Or so I’d been told. The Trials hadn’t been held since long before I was born, as wizards were few and far between. It was easier to go the way of the Darks. The rules weren’t as stringent, there wasn’t anyone to tell you that no, you couldn’t do what you wanted with your magic. It was darkly seductive, and while I would never agree with the path they’d chosen, I could see why. You wouldn’t be beholden to anyone. You didn’t need a cornerstone, a person you had to depend on. You didn’t have to jump through hoops that were laid out in front of you seemingly at random.
And there was no one to keep secrets from you.
But I was sixteen years old. I didn’t know anything about secrets then. At least none that mattered.
So when we arrived at Castle Freesias that first time, the only thoughts on my mind were that Morgan was marching me toward my doom and that I’d probably never see the City of Lockes ever again.
It hadn’t helped when I saw the glittering castle made of ice looming in front of us, the tops of which disappeared into lowlying clouds, fat with the promise of an imminent storm. The snow crunched under my feet, the mountains rose like gods around us, and I really wanted to be anywhere but where we were.
“I have a good idea,” I said nervously. “Let’s turn around and go home.”
“I have to agree,” Gary said. “Do you know what this cold is doing to my skin? I’m probably as dried and cracked as a dried-out crack addict.”
“There, there,” Tiggy said, running his thick fingers over Gary’s neck. “Pretty Gary not cracky Gary.”
“Thank you, my love,” Gary said. “It’s good to be appreciated, no matter where we are. Sam, you would do good to remember that. I always need to be complimented when we go someplace new. You know I have a very fragile sense of self.”
“You look super awesome,” I said. “Your scarf makes you look like you aren’t being wind-raped.”
Gary preened. “It does, doesn’t it? The gods only know there is nothing worse than arriving someplace new, not receiving a compliment, and having wind-rape hair. I am so glad I remembered to pack twenty-seven different scarves. It just wouldn’t do to be caught wearing the same one two days in a row. I mean, could you just imagine the scandal?”
No, I couldn’t, but I nodded dutifully before turning back to Morgan to give him the ol’ Look-How-Precious-Sam-Is big eyes, sure that I could convince him to turn us right around and go home.
Unfortunately for me, Morgan proved to be impervious in the face of my awesomeness. It was the bane of my existence. “Keep walking,” he said, sounding amused.
“Godsdammit,” I muttered under my breath. “You never let me do anything.”
“Yes, yes. Your life is so hard. Whatever was I thinking.”
Randall, of course, was waiting for us at the entrance to the castle, like a creeper. His arms were crossed over his chest, and there were flecks of snow in his beard.
“It’s about time,” he said, ignoring me completely. “Get inside before I leave you out here as a penance for your dillydallying.”
Dillydallying, I mouthed to Gary, who rolled his eyes.
“I saw that,” Randall said.
“Eep,” I said and tried to think about anything but penises.
I’D BEEN back a handful of times after that as I got older, always at Randall’s request.
Each time he’d been waiting for me at the entrance.
This time, though….
“…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAHHHHHH!” I shrieked as we snapped into existence in front of the legendary Castle Freesias.
My feet hit the ground, and I stumbled forward.
And immediately vomited onto the snow.
We’d eaten mutton the night before.
It wasn’t the best idea.