But whatever the crowd had planned was put on hold when another voice broke through the rest, fierce and angry. “What is the meaning of all of this?”
The crowd parted as Mama walked through them in all her glory, Letnia trailing behind her, eye patch glittering in the sunlight.
Mama made her way to the front of the crowd, cool and graceful as always. She barely had a reaction to the dead Darks that lay before her, and my respect for her grew exponentially. I wanted to be her when I grew up.
“Sam of Wilds said Feng betrayed us,” a brave man said. “He’s trying to justify the slaughter of these men by—”
“Feng did betray us,” Mama said. “And he has paid for his deception with his life.”
The crowd fell silent at that.
Mama glanced at me before looking back toward her people. “My eyes have been opened when I didn’t even know they’d been closed. I, like all of you, trusted Feng. And I know he has done much for Meridian City. But none of the good will ever make up for the decisions he’s made against all of us. If it hadn’t been for Sam of Wilds, or Randall and Morgan, Feng would have succeeded in his attempts at assassinating Letnia and myself.”
Maybe. If Feng were to be believed, his sole intention was to bring me to Myrin, but the office had been filled with explosives. And it was Morgan who had stopped him rather than myself. I opened my mouth to say just that but a hand dropped on my shoulder and squeezed tightly. I looked back to see Morgan behind me. He shook his head as if he’d known exactly what I’d been about to say. And most likely he had.
But I couldn’t help but notice how pale he looked, more so than usual. Beyond him stood Randall, who was watching me with that same eerie look on his face. He hadn’t forgotten whatever he’d wanted to discuss with me. And most likely he’d told Morgan.
Godsdamn him.
The crowd was murmuring amongst themselves, taking in Mama’s declaration, but I could see that it wasn’t helping much. They were still staring at me with derision and distrust. I didn’t know most of them. It shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did.
“Feng was working with the Darks,” Mama said. “He had been given a great task, to protect something precious. He chose to follow the path into the darkness. His father, Lui Wei, would be turning in his grave if he knew of Feng’s duplicity.” She shook her head, hands fisted at her sides. “Hear me now. Sam of Wilds is a hero. And anyone that speaks against him will answer to me.”
“And to me,” Letnia said, head held high. “Villains will rise. That much is given. And there may come a time when choices will need to be made. You are either with us, or you are against us. And if you are against us, then you should be prepared for the consequences of your decision. The Crown has faith in Sam of Wilds. That alone should be enough. But in case it’s not, then know I throw my lot in with him.”
They both glared at the mob as if daring anyone to speak against them or me.
No one did, though most of them didn’t look convinced.
They dispersed soon after.
THE GUARDS were left to clean up the fields.
Letnia stayed to oversee the effort, a steely look on her face.
Mama headed back into the city, muttering about how she needed to see how the Feng cleanup in her office was going. She told Kevin to see the healers in the city to, at the very least, clean the hole in his wing. He tried to refuse, but Gary stopped that line of thought before it could get too far. Kevin stared at Gary for a long time before quietly agreeing. Tiggy trailed behind the both of them, glancing over his shoulder at me. I nodded at him, and he smiled at me.
Ryan and Justin stood together, muttering something back and forth, and even though it’d been a long time since they’d been anything, and even though I was sure about Ryan’s feelings for me, I couldn’t help but feel a weird little twisty thing at watching them together. Ryan was my cornerstone, sure, and I knew he understood what that meant, but I couldn’t help but think about how uncomplicated his life had been before… everything. They might not have been in love, but they had cared about each other, enough that they’d been intimate. It’d been an arrangement, beneficial for them both, but they worked well together. And it’d gone on for years. And here Ryan and I were, just over a year together, and how much shit had he gone through because of me?
He’d been chased and captured and injured. He’d killed and maimed and almost died because of me. With Justin, he’d been… safe. With me, he wasn’t.
And now. Well, now there was a prophecy, a destiny of dragons, and Vadoma had shown me one possible future (and in her eyes, it was an inevitable future). A snake dragon monster thing had told me once that nothing was set in stone, and that even if it was, stone crumbles, but Ryan wouldn’t even be in this position if it weren’t for me.
If I were a more selfless person, I might have made a stupid decision, tried to end things with Ryan for his own good, distanced myself to keep him safe. But I wasn’t selfless. In fact, I was selfish. He was mine and I was his, and I couldn’t imagine a life without him. I couldn’t imagine him not being at my side. I couldn’t imagine losing the way he sometimes looked at me like I was the best thing in all his world, that look that made my chest feel tight and my skin a little sweaty. I couldn’t imagine never hearing again the way he gasped as he writhed below me, moaning my name and telling me he needed more, godsdammit, Sam, more.
If I were a better person, I would push him away to save him from this life.
I wasn’t a better person.
So instead I tried not to feel oddly jealous as the Knight Commander spoke with the Prince about something I couldn’t hear. I trusted him. I trusted the Prince. But apparently I couldn’t trust my own feelings.
“You’re glaring,” Morgan said, suddenly appearing beside me.
“I’m not,” I said as I glared.
“Ah,” he said. “I must have been mistaken.”
“It’s okay. You’re getting older. Your eyesight had to fail sometime.”
“Cheeky little git,” he said, sounding unbearably fond.
I shrugged. “It’s kind of my thing.”
“I’ve noticed.” Then, “You know there’s nothing there.”
“Where?” I asked, playing dumb.
“Sam.”
I rolled my eyes. “I know.”
“Do you?”
“I’m just being stupid.”
“Every now and then, sure. You’re young yet. You’ll grow out of it. You have time.”
Right. Because apparently I’d be alive forever while everything around me died. And that was just swell, because I was beginning to sound like Zero Ravyn Moonfire. This day couldn’t possibly get any worse.
And that would have been true had I not decided to open my mouth again. “I don’t know about that.”
“How so?”
I felt a little mean. “You and Randall have plenty of years on me, yet you seem to make mistakes.”
Morgan hesitated. “Mistakes are a part of learning how to be human. There’s a difference between making a mistake and inviting in stupidity.”
“Really. So how would you classify all of this?”